A co-worker of mine has a problem where her 3 year old little boy is?

Question

"seeing" a black man standing in the hall way, (at three, he doesn't have an understanding of race yet) and also complains that "Duddy the fox" who is yellow and has big teeth keeps coming in his room scaring him. Duddy the fox is not a cartoon character he has come in contact with. He is terrified when he he sees these things. She is convinced he is really seeing something. Any ideas?

Answer 1

Only thing the mom can do is listen and let him know everything is ok and find something that will comfort him whenever he is scared. My son talks to dead people all the time including a little boy that lives in his closet (that died here 40 years ago when he was 8, I did the research after he started talking about the little boy) and I just let him know they aren't going to hurt him. If he starts noticing stuff though that are more like monsters then it may require a nightlight and maybe even sleeping in his bed with him a few times and finding a "prayer" he can say to help him.

BTW the "black man" that most children refer to isn't because of a race thing but instead a shadow man that is exactly that....a black man.

Answer 2

Many child psychologists will tell her that children with very vivid imaginations, who see people and hear things ( like a "black man" and a "yellow fox") are actually children with higher intelligence and have over stimulated minds. It's very possible these people have been created in his mind as a result of what he's seen on TV or what he's seen in a picture book. Perhaps he never actually saw Duddy, but his mind has conjured him up. The above suggestions ( spray water bottle, a bed time cuddly) are excellent soothing techniques for his little over active imagination.

Answer 3

Oh, for the love of Pete !! He's three ! My son used to imagine alot of things when he was lying in his room at night. Maybe the "Black man" is some kind of shadow?! When I was three, I swore from go there to come siccum that Yoda from Star Wars lived under my bed and only at night. I was terrified ! ( I didn't know anything about Yoda, he just looked scary to me, ok? ) She is going to make him feel like a carny if she takes him to a doctor or specialist who would refer him to a psychologist just to appease her. Get him a night light, a spray bottle that has "magic" water in it to keep " monsters" away. It worked for my son when he was three and saw "The Boogeyman", even a huge yellow duck named "Boris" in his closet. Parents have had this kind of problem with their kids for yrs and yrs. There is a high unlikelihood that there is some "psychological" problem wrong with him but taking him to see doctors who will eventually convince the mom that something is wrong with him will surely give him some issues.Almost all kids see or hear things at night, it's called having an imagination and is a normal part of that age's process of growing up. I'd be worried if he didn't have some sort of fears or imagination at the age of 3.

Answer 4

When we moved into our new home, my then 3 yr old kept waking in the night telling me that a girl named Jonie was waking him up and laughing at him. He would tell me that he was playing in his room with Jonie too.
Now hes 4 he doesn't talk about Jonie any more so, although it freaked me a little, i believe it was his imagination. But Jonie wasn't scaring him.
I would suggest a dim night light in the bedroom. One that he can turn off and on himself, such as a touch light. Or perhaps get him a 'special toy' that he keeps by his bed to scare away the Fox.
On the occasions when my son woke in the night due to monsters, i told him that our 2 cats will protect him and monsters are scared of cats. Weird but it worked.
As for the man in the hallway, if you believe in ghost then its believed that children do 'see' them. If you're friends son has been seeing this man for many months then i would ask him about this man. If what he says doesn't make sense, then its his imagination. If it does make sense, then the rest is up to your co-workers beliefs

Answer 5

I agree with the other answer that reminds us that a 'black man' is not a racial reference. Children of that age will often refer to people by the dominant colour of their clothing or the colour that they associate with that person. For example, my friend's son startled her when he referred to the green man... a man in a green shirt.

Before seeking professional help, I would try helping the little boy take charge. When he 'sees' or experiences these characters, his parent can tell him to send them away; as in speaking in a 'big strong voice' tell them to go away. I believe that helping children take charge of their thoughts or experiences helps them to avoid becoming a passive by-stander or victim in regards to the world around them.

The other factor I would consider would be from a spiritual perspective...as uncomfortable as this may make us feel, children are sometimes more intuitively connected to things that our rationality prevents us from experiencing. If this might be a factor a simple prayer of asking for help to send the man/fox away may have added impact to the taking charge aspect.

Overall, I wouldn't allow a thing like this to become a bigger issue than it is...as a parent our job is to equip our children with the 'tools' necessary to cope with life and this is just another life thing, not as uncommon as you might think.

Answer 6

Maybe she really does have a ghost from a black man lingering in her house. She needs to tell him he has passed on and he needs to follow the light. Whoever he is looking for no longer lives there. The whole thing with the fox could be a dog. This is a really wierd situation and I think she needs to talk to him more about what's going on. Then take him to see a specialist who can determine if he's making it up or if it's really real.

Otherwise call Montel Williams. He always has that lady(Sylvia Brown) on.

Answer 7

U don't say whether the child is in day care or not. Sometimes at this age they pick up things from books that are being read to them. They have such active imaginations it is hard to tell. I would check out the day care situation. Kids this age pick up a lot from other kids. My 3 year-old likes to say she is afraid of the dark (which she is not) and it is something she picked up at school from another child. She needs him to tell her where he is seeing these things. If it is in school/daycare then she may want to consider switching.

Answer 8

she needs to take him to the doctor. and sorry to say it but someone this child is around is racist. he learned the black guy thing somewhere. the fox could be an imaginary friend

Answer 9

call Ghost Busters

Answer 10

CALL THE COPS