I lost my mum just over 1 year?

Question

ago, I am slowly coming to terms with it, in my own way, but I need some space from my family to do so, they are constanly on my case, have tried telling them in the nicest possible way, I want to be left alone, but they are not listening, anyone else have this problem, can you advise me please.

Answer 1

You need to grieve in the way most suitable for you. If you feel you need to get away for a while - then do it. Try and explain to your other family members how you are feeling and that you need this space as that is the way you feel best for you. Loosing a mother is so hard - I lost mine when I was 15. It's 10 and a half years on now and I still get upset quite often thinking about her. It all came to a head at 10 years - I couldn't understand why I was suddenly so upset and 'messed up' about it after all this time. Everyone grieves in different ways so you need to do what feels right. I never had it, but now the 10 year thing hit me so bad - I'm wondering if councelling at the time may have been a good option. I didn't feel the need at the time but maybe it would have helped me unlock some things that I must have subconciously kept inside until recently. Don't shut your family out completely though - they proabably need you, like at some point you will feel ready to need them. Good luck and thoughts are with you. xx

Answer 2

i'm so sorry for your loss honey, I lost my mum 8 years ago and some days i still find it hard to believe she is not there to talk to, it was worse when I had my daughter as i just wished she could have met her, all I can say is that although you will still feel sad, the pain does get easier in time, you won't forget your mum and i'm sure that like me you have a million great memories of her, your family are just trying to help you and although they are possibly driving you insane they are just trying to help you through this difficult time, i found myself telling my family i had excepted the fact my mum had died and found they backed off a bit i was then free to deal with the grief in my own way, last year I finally let my mum go and have felt at peace ever since. I went through all the ander at her dying and feeling how unjust it was that a good person dies when there are so many bad people in this world, i regreted not telling my mum how much i loved her and how much she ment to me, but this just eats away at you, nothing we say can ease your pain, but you are not alone, and in time will start to feel better, I like to imagine my mum is now in a great place without all the pain and is at peace, I also like to think that although she is not here in body she is out there looking out for me, I hope this helps a little bit, in time your will feel more positive, don't hold it inside if you feel like a good cry then get the photos out and have a good cry to happy memories. your in my thoughts, I hope that your pain eases soon, good luck in your life.

Answer 3

When my mom died, my family went the opposite way. We all broke apart. Tensions were high and people got nasty with each other. My two sisters tolerated each other and kicked me out of their little clique. My dad tried to control me. He helped me financially, which I thanked him but in return continued to verbally abuse me....along with my sisters. I had to cut everyone off. My mother had always protected me I guess. I don't have contact with any of them anymore. An occasional e-mail from my dad and that's it.

It will probably be this way for the rest of my life. Holidays are the worst and I beg my coworkers to let me work for them so I can be with people I really care about, my patients, instead of being home alone thinking about my family or being with my husbands family.

Cherish what you have. Find another way to deal with them because when they are gone, you will miss them. That's a very sad feeling.

Best wishes.

Answer 4

I have lost my mother as well and understand what you are going thru. Depending on your age, you really need to give yourself space. Take the space if you need to. If you are underage then you need to talk with your closest family members and seek counseling. Either way counseling probally wouldnt hurt, but i advise it to underage ppl because sometimes they just cant take that time away from family. Good luck to you and I really hope you are able to get that space you seek.

Answer 5

Your family is concerned if you're handling this ok...perhaps they are just trying to be supportive, keep an eye on you. Everyone greeves differently.....would be best that perhaps you take this time out for yourself, see if you're able to get away for a bit to clear your mind/thoughts...but best thing would be to be surrounded with family and friends to help you through sorting things out for yourself. Best wishes and sorry to hear of your mums passing* Stay Strong*

Answer 6

Sorry 4 your loss , im on d same boat myself , loss my baby 2 years ago she was only 1 , i feel d same way thinkin every 1 is on my case constantly . people grieve differently so if u feel u need time out take time out . look after yourself and i really hope things get better for you .

Answer 7

there are times when u feel u want to be alone but u really want to be with people ur family can help u get through

Answer 8

i lost my dad so i know how you feel. they think they are helping but they just make things worse.
you need to get away for a while to get things in perspective. you also need to realise how lucky you are to have ppl around you who care.
try going away on your own for a while then you will realise how much you need thier support.
all the best to you take care.

Answer 9

Everyone mourns and grieves in their own way. You need space. Your family needs to respect that and give you your privacy.

Answer 10

GO on holiday on your own then you'll have time to grieve