I need big help with my toddler! Sleep issues!?

Question

Hi. I have a 2 year old who I am currentlyTRYING to start weaning from breastfeeding. This baby still nurses alot...I work full time, so as soon as I get home, she's ready to nurse, and pretty much nurses the entire rest of the evening, including at night time. We co-sleep, and have done so since she was born. It has been such a great experience for us as a family to nurse/co-sleep but at 2, I really believe she is ready to go on her own.
The problem is, she is an extremely light sleeper. I mean, this little girl will feel me moving to get up and go to the bathroom, and she starts crying for me. Anything..if I move her down in the bed a little, she wakes and wants to nurse. If I am sleeping and she isn't touching my arm/shirt, she wakes. I don't know what to do! It's been 2 long years that I've longed for a long, good night sleep. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to start this weaning process without having completely sleepless nights?!

ps. We just moved, but my daughter is already on a schedule again...she naps every day at the same time at daycare...also, she does not use a sippy anymore...she uses a normal cup! That's why this is so difficult for me...'cause she still nurses, but she is a big girl!

Answer 1

Why did you let things come to this situation?Your girl should be sleeping to her own bedroom by herself long time now.You should put her in her bed and stay with her the first nights,lay down by her and wait until she sleeps.Then you leave the room and if she cries just rub her back and go.Don't lay back down or take her on your lap.Let her cry for a while if you have to.She needs to realise that mom won't be there when she's sleeping anymore.As for nursing you should try to change from breast to bottle gradually and not at once decreasing the times you nurse everyday.Eventually she will take only bottle without to have to fight for it.Talk with her,she understands now,and explain to her that she's a big girl and has to do things on her own(like sleeping,feeding etc).

Good luck :)

Answer 2

She's not a baby any more. The first thing you need to do is stop thinking of her as one. She doesn't need to nurse, she doesn't even need a bottle. She needs to be getting her nutrition from proper food, with milk to drink in a sippy cup - or an ordinary one, she's plenty old enough to be learning to use one. And a two year old should be doing something much more intellectually stimulating with her limited time with you than constant feeding. Start that right now - no breast when you get home today, instead milk in a cup. Or if this will be a problem for you physically, ten minutes breast and then no more, and cut it down to nothing as soon as you can.

As far as sleeping goes, you say you work full-time - how does she take a nap in the daytime when you are not there for her to sleep with? Or how did she, when she was smaller? I'd recommend you use that as a model for what you do in the evening. But it's not going to be easy because you have allowed her to become so dependent.

I think you are going to have a couple of completely sleepless nights, so pick a time when this won't be a disaster (a weekend or when you have a bit of leave) and just go for it. And be strong. The worst message you can possibly give her is that all she has to do to be allowed to sleep in your bed is to make enough of a fuss.

Answer 3

I would get her a toddler bed and put it beside your bed. Let her help pick out a nice new blankie, like Tinkerbell or whatever she likes. Put the bed right up against your bed and you may need to reach over and hold her hand. Once she starts doing better with that, then move the bed over a little or just reach over and rub her back or something, then slowly do these things less and less. Eventually she can go in her room, whenever you are ready for that. It will probably take a while since she is so used to sleeping with you but she will get there. Reward her for when she makes even a small step toward this.
Also start weaning from breastfeeding, too. Nurse her when you get home for 20 min or so and then don't do it again till it's bedtime. After a few days, don't nurse her when you get home but just at night. Then in a few days stop that, too. Rock her or snuggle her with a blanket between you to. When she wakes up, let her fuss for a few min before going to comfort her.
hope this helped, good luck

Answer 4

You need to start putting this kid in their own bed. If she gets up and comes in your room, bring her back to her room without saying anything. Keep doing this until she learns to stay in her room. You could even sleep on the floor of her room until she gets used to her bed and give her one of your shirts for comfort. As for weaning- just tell her no! She is two years old. By this time she should be drinking from a sippy cup. Give her milk in a bottle or a sippy cup and don't let her nurse. She will cry and put up a fight but you are the parent and it is important the she learn now that you are the boss and she can't always get what she wants.

Answer 5

Wow.. Mine is 16 month old. I am missing continuous 7 hours of sleep too. I breastfeed my daughter. But, until a month ago, she used to wake up every 15 to 45 minutes to breastfeed. She didn't feed much. But, would just take a few sips to go back to sleep, and would wake up again after 30 minutes. I never even got 2 hours of continuos sleep. It was extremely frustrating. She always slept in the crib(just next to my bed in arm's reach). I decided to let her cry it out. At the same time, i didn't want her to feel insecure. So, my husband took care of her for the first night. She cried almost the whole night. But,she eventually slept. The next night, i took care of her. From the next night, she didn't ask to breastfeed. But, she still wakes up every one to two hours. May be, it is a habit or something. But, it is not as worst as before. Please do something now. In your case, if you get her in her own bed, almost 75% of your problem will be solved. Hope you feel better. I am loooooonging for sleep too :-)

Answer 6

Ok, for the whole bed thing, get her her very own bed. Put her in it at night. Give her a teddy bear or something to snuggle up with. Let her pick out her own sheets and blanket (maybe Dora or Disney Princess or whatever she's into)...maybe even some new "big girl" pj's. Then, when it's time for bed, do your normal bedtime routine. Then before you put her in her own bed talk to her about being a big girl and sleeping in the bed with her new blankie and new jammies and all that. She may scream and cry and try getting out of bed, but just keep putting her back in. Maybe a cd with some music she likes to keep her distracted long enough to fall asleep. My boyfriend's son's night-night music is a baby einstein lullaby cd...he loves it. Anyway, the first week or so will probably be ridiculous...her screaming, you putting her back in bed, but it will get better. Don't say anything to her when she gets out of bed except it's bed time (or night-night time, or whatever you want to call it). Just stick to your guns. Be a parent, not a friend. (You might want to warn the neighbors that you are moving your little one to her own bed so they don't freak out if they hear her screaming at 2am and such). After about a week or so, she will have realized that you mean business and that you aren't going to let her get her own way. She still might get fussy at bed time, almost all kids do, even teenagers, but she will know that she has to go to bed, so she will do it.

Oh and the whole nursing thing. Same as the bed. Get her a big girl plate and spoon and cup (they sell sets at stores like Walmart with characters on them...let her pick one out) and start her on food. Tell her that she's a big girl and she needs to act like a big girl. Talk to her about acting like mommy. Kids like to copycat grown-ups. She may cry and be upset about not getting to nurse anymore, but in a year or two, she will be off to preschool. You've got to get this all squared away before then or the other kids will make fun of her.

Answer 7

You might just have to get tough, put a piece of muslin or cloth in your bra during the day, it will smell of you, then give it to your daughter and see if she can smell you and tell her to think of you each time she smells it, and vice versa if she is thinking of you she can smell you. Your daughter needs a transitional object to be close to instead of it actually being you. I don't know if you should wean first or get her to her own bed first, because it kinda chases its own tail. Could you put a single bed right next to yours, (this will be a gradual process) so you are still there but she has her own space?? It would still take time, I am going to have the same issue, my son is 9mo and loves his mummy and will spend half the night in his bed then pitch a fit and I'm too tired to fight with him so he gets in with me and hubby. I think you need to tackle the bed thing before you wean because is she is still sleeping with you while you are trying to wean it will backfire.
One more point, your daughter is probably a light sleeper because she has slept with you, it may rectify once you do the hard yards and get ther to sleep in her own space.
Seriously good luck I do hope it all gets better quickly.

Answer 8

try letting her help you sort out her own bedroom so she knows this is where she will sleep at night keep reasuring her that your only a call away and she wont be left tell her shes a big girl now also try putting one of your t shirts as apillow case it might help her think your close than you thought if she wakes up in the night just go in and say everything is ok read her a story and say goodnight might take up to a week of sleepless nights but it will be worth it.

Answer 9

She needs her own room.. Time for Tuff love mom! I never nursed my children, However at a time we had a one bedroom apt. and he slept in the same room as us. It was easy to put him in bed sometimes. LOL I used to wake up with him in our bed. I don't know how a 10 month old got out of his crib, It was my husband grrr.. Well one night he wanted to sleep with me and I just had to do tuff love. It hurt but its better for both of us. Probably going to have to go Cold turkey with nursing. Since she don't take the bottle or sippy cup.

Answer 10

Hi, it's so good that you chose to breastfeed you daughter and for this length of time, i breastfed my daughter for 7months and found it very challenging sometimes. I think you should start by moving her into her own bed and also just stopping breastfeeding altogether. Just tell her no, it will be hard for about a week or so but eventually she will realise that it is time to change and she will settle into a routine.