can someone please give me some advice on what to do here. her dad left when she was five was never seen him again her step dad has never treated her like a daughter her mom loves her but they are not that close every other boyfreind she has had has used her and mentally and verbally abused her and her ex husband did the same always yelled at her never said he loved her always slept on the couch wouldnt come home for days when he did coem home he was always drunk. her heart has hardened over the years because of the abuse. how do i soften her heart again. how do i show her im not like the other. i have tried everything i can think of but it doesnt seem to be working. she told me lastnight that i was going way to fast that she wasnt ready for all i had to offer. she ssaid she feels smothered but she acknowledges that i haven't done anything to smother her. she doesn't go out with her so called freinds anymore because of me.-what do i do
2007-09-05 23:23:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she says her freinds are to shallow and would judge me unfairly so she chooses not to associate with them anymore because of that. why do i feel that this is my fault
2007-09-05 23:25:15 · update #1
assure her that no matter what happens, you will always be there for her. do this through your words and actions...and do mean it, will you? be genuinely true and you will win her trust and confidence in you. be more patient with her...don't give up on her. allow her be herself. encourage her each time she does things on her own or learn things through her own discovery. she needs to realize that she could accomplish things because she is unique and that life is beautiful. nurture her with your prayers...no prayer comes back empty-handed. prove to her that she can go out of her sad situation in life. JUST BE THERE FOR HER!
2007-09-05 23:40:40 · answer #1 · answered by stel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its important that you encourage her to hang out with her friends so she doesn't feel as though you are trying to control her in some kind of way. Even though you aren't she has been through a lot and may blame you for her not seeing her friends...even though it was her decision. This may help with the whole smothering thing to. If you are the only person she is seeing, she may feel as though she doesn't have enough "her" time.
You want her to realize that you want her to be happy...and that you will support her and love her no matter what.
She is broken and trying to be with her isn't going to be easy. She should have gotten out of the abusive relationship instead of staying in it for so long...but I guess that wont help now.
Just be there for her. Only time can heal wounds. Good luck.
2007-09-05 23:37:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Past love experience can really hurt her.
You have to make sure you wanted to continue this.
She has to realize that she has a problem and get help.
She has to do it for her self.
You are great guy to know her situation and make her better. Make sure you are not doing all the work and also make sure she is going to get some kind of help.
Be leave me I have the same experience whit someone almost like that. I try and try to make things work and they never did just because they did not put effort and at the end i was just broken hard.
Protect your self.
2007-09-05 23:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by zingara76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever bad things those people around her had done in the past, reverse it. Give her the opposite. Most importantly, since you said she's never been loved,be the first to make her see and feel the real meaning of "true love".
2007-09-05 23:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by rcg_palomo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be there for her and love her. You don't need to take any extraordinary steps. Eventually she'll be more accepting that you are good guy but it takes time and consistency on your part.
My situation is somewhat similar. You just have to be strong.
2007-09-05 23:30:04 · answer #5 · answered by One Voice In The Day Rings True 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah its not ur fault. always stay with her, provide her with full love and support and b there 4 her wenever she needs u. i suggest some candlelights dinner with her, buy her some flowers often, take her out in romantic places, well do good things that nobody has ever done 2 her.
2007-09-05 23:29:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's gone through a lot, and has a lot to work out. Give her some time. Keep showing her that it's safe to be with you. Love her.
2007-09-05 23:28:27 · answer #7 · answered by justme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would rather die with a broken heart because then i would at least know what love feels like. P.S. I give you a star if you tell me how to make those music notes (like the ones in your name)
2016-05-22 01:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be patient and don't move so fast. Tell her that you do not wish to be the reason that she does not associate with her friends. Suggest that she have lunch or go somewher with themon occasion.
2007-09-05 23:28:03 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what else u need she is a virgin in love take her for u for ever raise her & teach her how to love u in the way u want & love her there is nothing wrong
2007-09-05 23:27:35 · answer #10 · answered by miliy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋