My Dad is nearing the end of his life, and I want to know how to tell him thank you?

Question

My Dad had a really bad stroke in May, and he has other health problems, so it's no big secret to anyone (including him) that his time is almost up. (They gave him 3 weeks-it's been 4 months, but he's not getting better) I really love my Dad, and I don't want to upset him, but I do want to tell him how much I appreciate the things that he taught me, and let him know that I will be okay. My stepmom doesn't want us to get upset when we are around him, because she is afraid that he will become depressed. He is not mentally disabled other than not being able to get his thoughts to come out of his mouth. Although I don't want to depress him, I think that it would give him some comfort to know that we (my siblings and I) aren't in denial and that we will all be okay. He has been a doctor for the better part of 45 years, so he is very well aware of what is happening to his body. Has anybody else been in this situation? What did you do, what do you wish that you had done?

Answer 1

It's never easy losing a parent. I just lost my Dad in January and I really wish that I had said so much more to him. I suggest that you just tell him straight out, regardless of what your step-mother says. What you have to tell him isn't going to kill him. She really has no business with telling you what and what not to say to your Dad. But, you need to tell him before it's too late. He's not going to live forever, so tell him. He will love you even more for hearing your feelings about how good he raised you. Good luck!!!

Answer 2

i think of we've been residing interior the tip circumstances because of the fact the Resurrection a minimum of! pondering the rapture of the church, what i'm finding for precise now are some issues: a million) The formation of the ten-toed kingdom of Daniel 2, that's the comparable because of the fact the 4th Beast of Daniel 7, that's the comparable because of the fact the Beast that rises out of the sea in Revelation 13. this is not the european community, it somewhat is too far west and north. This kingdom ought to look interior the element of the classic Medo-Persian Empire, "like the ft of the endure" (quoted from Revelation 13). the place the ft are, it somewhat is the place you get up, precise? So the endure is a picture to Daniel 7, and that endure replaced into Medo-Persia. the different imagery in Revelation 13 shows me that it is the comparable; the endure, the lion, and the leopard all look in the two Daniel 7 and Revelation 13:a million. that provides us a clue to the place that 10 usa kingdom will ensue, and this is not in Europe or the different place interior the international than the middle East. 2) i'm additionally finding for the entire reconstituted Israel. Ezekiel 37 tells us approximately that. There are 2 sticks, Judah and the tribes linked with them are there already, Judah, Benjamin, and a factor of the tribe of Levi. who's the different stick? The tribes of Joseph/Ephraim and the tribes linked with them. So with those prophesies nevertheless unfulfilled, i will understand that Christ wont take the church away. There are different issues, yet those issues are mandatory, as I are conscious of it, in the previous the rapture of the church.

Answer 3

My father died a horrible death and also he knew for many years that he was going to die. My siblings and mother all lived in denial believing that it was not true. Until the very end. Feelings and emotions do not kill. They heal. And be sure dear, that your father knows and feels all thats in your heart without need for words even. Sit with him , hold his hand, tell him about your day, tell him your dreams, tell him your feelings, say thankyou , whatever you need. Yes dear I did that, and now 14 years later. The memories I have! I see his face, I hear his voice, it was as if my tears and his were mixed together. Pure magic. And he's still here. when i'm sad , when i cry, he's with me. I'm still holding his hand. You will forever have his love. All you have to do is close your eyes , feel him and he will be there forever . Peace dear.

Answer 4

The closest thing I can relate to is the death of my grandfather. I did what you want to do and it was followed by hugs and smiles. I did not go into great detail with him I just let him know that he was the main male influence in my life, he taught me more than I could mention, and that I loved him.
Do what you have to do because you will regrett not doing it later. I'll be praying for you!

Answer 5

Maybe your dad i hanging on because he is waiting for you and other loved ones to tell him it's ok to die! The greatest thing we kids did when my mom was dying, was to tell her it was ok to let go! That we would be ok after she was gone, that we would miss her, that we loved her. We talked about how she got to watch us grow up, how she got to see grandkids born and lots of memories. She knew she was dying and she didnt have a problem talking about it. I think it was more of a comfort to talk about it and everything else than it would have been to dance around the subject of death. He isnt going to get depressed because of what you say. And it certainly isnt going to change the future by talking or not talking EXCEPT, after he is gone, will you regret not saying what you really want to say now? When we cried, mom cried with us but not in a depressed way. When we laughed she laughed, when we cried - she cried. People who are dying usually try to be brave for us! But they still have feelings and emotions. If you cry when you talk to your dad, it is a natural thing to do! Who would expect anything less? It just shows how much you care and is a GREAT form of relief to everyone! SO dont be afraid to show and say your emotions. I know where your step mother is coming from, but each person is only human and each person has to deal with this in their own way! Maybe your dad needs to see your emotions, and HEAR YOUR WORDS that you want to say. If it were me in your dads shoes, I think I would want to talk about anything and everything honestly and openly and in that I would draw comfort in leaving this place. Talk to him before it's to late and you would have to live with that!

Answer 6

When my Dad (78) had a bad heart attack we almost lost him, he hung between life and death for 2 weeks. Things between us had always been strained. But I realized no matter what had gone on before , I loved him and it didn't matter.
I was just there for him, I washed him, fed him and took care of him. He knew, and when he did recover, there was a new love there.
Just be with him, he'll know you love him , sometimes a small gesture says more than a thousand words.

Answer 7

"Step-mom" should butt-out! She hasn't got the right to keep you from having a heart-to-heart with your dad. I think she's got a "control issue" going on. Showing him your love would be the best thing for him. If you must stand up to your step-mom, just don't do it in front of him. And do try not to break down to tears around him -- enjoy & celebrate the time that's left. Circumstances didn't allow me that option with my parents.

Answer 8

Old people need affection & nothing else. I can appreciate ur situation as I already have faced. and... affection need not be verbal. your face line will tell ur affections.
Secondly, old people like to be listened. They may not be talking extra-ordinary all times, but they do think so.So, be a listener. Prompt him to speak & then just listen with nodding ur head occassionally.
Thirdly, they like to be cared for. Small things like ..it's your time to take medicine, now it's time to sleep, Don't worry, I will clean up ur bed etc..should help.
From ur description, it appears u don't have any major family problem, so small things should reflect ur gratitude to him.

Answer 9

"Hey, dad, have i told you lately how much I love you and appreciate all of the things that you have done for me in my life? Well in case I don't say it often enough, I really do love and appreciate you." This may be the opening that he needs to tell you how he feels about you too.

Answer 10

I truly know how you feel, I just lost my Dad one year ago. Here is what I did. I got a thinking about you card (or something that you feel fits) and wrote him a letter of how I felt. I went to visit him and gave him the card with the letter in it but told him to open it and read it in private.

The next morning when I went to visist him he told me how very much that meant to him. He passed that same evening. I actually had that letter put in his suit jacket pocket in the casket and he is buried with my letter next to his heart.

That meant the world to me.

I'm very sorry for how you must be feeling, but time heals.