Chrisitans??

Question

I am 14 years old.
I am thinking about marriage and even though alot of people say I am too young to make a decision, I hve already made my deciscion, and I feel I have already found the person.
What do you suggest?
I mean I have thought about this alot, anyone else been through this before?
I mean I am like 100%sure, and I want to make this person extremely happy.
Thank you.

I love this person alot and please star this question so, I can get many answers. I would like to get as many answers and opinions as possible. Thank you.=]

Answer 1

Love is not actually what you think it is unfortunately. To be besotted/obsessed with someone does not mean that you love them...really, only time can tell. The same goes for the truth, being loyal to Jehovah for a long time is a sign that you love Him. Just some emotional outburst at a time when you feel good doesn't mean that you truly love God. Love is proved true under endurance.

You see, it's all great AT FIRST, you feel all "fuzzy" inside all the time, and you think about that person all the time. Do you have any brothers? I'm guessing you don't. But if you do then you'll realize that after years of marriage, your relationship will become more like brother and sister. I don't mean to sound sick here lol, neither do I mean that there will be no physical attraction (which does die out too). I mean that if you still have respect for your partner after years, you will not see that person as being as amazing like you do now.

Have you ever heard about the chemicals in your brain making a person fall in love? Well those chemicals are pretty much non-existent after a year or two of being with someone. What happens then? Well, the infatuation period is over and you all of a sudden can't just overlook any realy negative aspects of the other person. You are no longer in a dream like world. This is where it is plain to see whether you have TRUE love.

Look around you at most young couples, some may not break up, but what you don't see is how the love has faded away and deep inside they both (or just one) regret marrying but feel obliged to stay together because of being Christian. Do you think you could cope with just one person (that you have fallen out of love with) for the rest of your life, and see other potential brothers that you could have been with; it would be heart destroying! It would make you so depressed. This is what I've seen happen to many brothers. They married some sister and the sister later on fell out of love with him (and vice versa), and actually fell in love with someone else when they were older and more mature. If this did happen, how do you think you would feel all the time if you found out you loved someone else and not your wife/husband? Constantly depressed and guilty, that’s how you would feel. In my experience, seeing others in a loveless marriage actually holds them back in the truth. Do you want to risk being lukewarm in the truth and not giving Jehovah all the love He deserves? Adultery would be more likely in a loveless marriage.

You don't truly know someone until you've done every day activities with each other (eat, sleep etc) for a decent time period. People are infatuated at first and then develop REAL love...IF they work at it.

Do you have realistic expectations of marriage? Do you think that when your husbands finished his full time 8 - 5 job, that he's going to be in a good mood? Would you be able to cope with his grumpiness? Could you tend his emotional needs (men tend to overly worry about money, masculinity, status, work etc). Do you think that you'll be going to the cinema every month and going out for dinners etc like you do when you date? Where are you planning on living, can you afford to move out? Does your potential husband have a financially stable job? etc.

Like others have said, speak to older and mature ones in the congregation. Feel free to email me for more advice :)

Answer 2

Hello again my dear beloved sister I love your questions you have on Y/A. So full of youth andquestion & answers. i noticed that a lot of answers on here are for a Major majority All positive answers only a few negative i see and they could be rated by the same person, but any way that should tell you something.

You asked what do we suggest? Well again take your answer from the bible Prov.3:5 Do not lean upon your own understanding in this matter. Even in your heart you may think youre mature enough to get married, but remember the heart is more treacherous than ANYTHING else and is DESPERATE. Jeremiah 17:9.
You will have to get a job to help support the marriage. Tell me where can you find a job at 14 much less that pays anything. The same goes for him also you both will be staying at your parents for the rest of your lives trying to catch up.

1 Cor.7:36 says before marriage to wait PAST the bloom of youth. which you have only to begun.

I can agree with you that you may have 100% to have found this person that you think thats right for you but remember the script. Prov.3:5. How many other people in the world have thought the exact same thing & still ended in divorce?

I also love about you other than you studying to become a sister is your yahoo name........

Waiting on the World to change....
but i ask you which will take longer you waiting on the world to change or you waiting 4 or 5 more yrs on this future husband of yours of which you could just decide to have a long engagement to be married.....
As fast as times are going by I know that it will be a 1000 or more times quicker to wait on your husband , than for the whole world to change. Your husband will be here b-4 you know it. So my dear friend my point is if you can Wait on the World to change you can also wait an even less time on you a husband which you may even change your mind about him also. just wait till the legal age limit or longer & you will see here based on all of these experienced folks on here which (experience is a good teacher) just to wait a little while longer & you will see something that you cant see right now in this matter ..... the light.

Answer 3

I am 53. At 14, I believe I was thinking about how good girls were starting to look. My section of the country had only a few really hot girls. My thinking was a little different though.

I was concerned what kind of effect I would have on a girl's life. What kind of person was I and was I willing to change? Honestly, my answer was too stubborn to change, to selfish. I had a good clue how my life would turn out and knew my health would become a bad problem. I could not in all fairness put someone I loved through that.

The only one I could see myself ever marrying was a Candice Bergin type. You might know her as the old lady who wins all those awards when you were little. In my youth, she was very hot. Though they thought she could not act, she was capable on many levels of doing almost anything she wanted. I had many examples of men dying and women falling apart. She would have been very sad but, would have gone on to excel in life. That is what I was concerned with. I thought more of others than myself.

For that reason, I remain single and content I have not messed up someone's life.

Now, what about you? Would this other person always stay the same? Sure, you are lovable, but will the other person remain in love when you change? Though anyone will still recognize you at 25 or 30, you will not be the same person. With experience and time, we all change. Hopefully for the better though sometimes not. Now you are 100% sure. In a few years, that percentage could drop.

Answer 4

Hey sweetie.
14 years does sound very young.
I'm not sure where you live and what your Countries laws are, but our legal age is 16, still very young.
If you are 100% sure, can you not wait two more years?
If you've only just found the person I think you should wait, go out on a date with the person
(Seeing as though going out is really for finding a partner for life) To make SURE that your compatable.
And does your partner feel the same way about getting married?
The thought of getting married always appealed to me at your age. but that didn't mean i HAD to, [and] had to start looking right then and there,
I think God would want you to keep growing in Him.
Focuss on God and build a strong relationship with Him FIRST.

Answer 5

Hello, little sister,
Wait! on Jehovah.

YOU are only 4 years over 10,
barely into double digits!!
Wait.
U said "I am like 100% sure,"
then; U R not ready.

I am the 3rd eldest out of 9
I raised 3 of my own, plus helped to raise 3 other young males in the family.
I have plenty of exp., on top of which
@ 14, I got preg., married him & it was less then 5 yrs. together total.
I currently am / have been married for 21 yrs.
ITS WORK!

The both of u [are to young*] to accept the challenges of
working, suffering, forgiving, sacrificing for each other.
Marriage is even so much more. And this is b4 children.
WAIT, Little Sister.
And these r just the worldly / fleshy issues.

Jah's word tells us we don't mature until the age of 30.
How old was Jesus @ baptism?
Then that would be when God knew Jesus had matured enough,
to take on his assignment.
I say this last part,
so u can discern that you are to young.
You aren't even the legal age, by the law of the land.

Be a footstep follower of Jesus.
Obey ur parents.
Grow into the wisdom, Jehovah has prepared for you.
Give urself the time, the mature into an adult.

* to young--meaning neither 1 of u has enough exp in life...
w/ life; to deal with the issues that come up in a marriage.

see "I wanna b a fish" that's just a very tiny portion.

Answer 6

If you are sure this is the right man for you and that it will last a life time, ask your self a few questions.

How old is he now?
Have you given him enough time to be the man he can become?
Are you being unfair to him to put such pressure on him now?
Will it stumble him and cause him to lose his relationship with Jehovah?
Could you live with that?
Have you been around him and witnessed all his different emotions?
How does he handle money?
Can he provide and be your choosen "head"?
Will he be able to guide you and possible children that you will have together through what we know is shortly to come?
How strong is he in the truth?
Have you seen him very angry? At you?
Does he handle it with respect or does he need time to mature?
Have you seen him devistated and sad?
Does he pick himself back up or does he need others to do it for him?
Character comes with age. Everyday we face things we don't want to do but know it needs to be done, so we do it.
Does he pout and blame others? Do you?
Has he ever said he "NEEDS YOU" and did it sound at all desperate? Does he question why you need your friends around you and why he isn't enough for you?
Be very careful of controlling, jealous men. They can even feel resentment towards their own children for taking your attention away from him.

Your body is at the age where it is changing so much. Your emotions are getting strong and your "urges" are gaining strenght over your common sense too.
Jehovah said we must control our body members.
We lose more young ones to the world due to sexual issues then anything else.
For older, married ones it is most often materialism and money issues.
Sex and closeness is great, but it is only a mystery for a little while then all the other pressures of Satan and his system will slam you to the ground in a reality check. You can only cuddle for so long. Then you have to work, have a home with payments, light bill, phone, groceries, car, insurances, clothing and all the other things that will get in the way of romance.
If you are mature and have given yourselves time to accumulate some of the necessary things you stand a better chance of staying in love and not resenting each other later.

If you know it is forever and he is the one...what difference will it make to wait, he'll still be there. If he's not, good thing you waited.

Talk with other sisters.
We love you, Jehovah will help you, pray often.

Answer 7

Deep down you know the answer to this. Here is a suggestion since you are 100% sure: Read Genesis 29:20, 30.
Do you love him enough to wait 7 years for him? Do you love him enough to wait 14 years? Does he love you that much? Are you still 100% sure? If the answer to all of these questions is yes, then wait at least 7 years. You will make him a much better wife at 21 than you will at 14.

Answer 8

You're still way too young. I dont get it. you had told me you werent sure of getting married and now you are? hmm its kinda strange. but anyways youre only 14 and at what age do u want to get married? this is a serious decision you have to make cause you're gonna live with this person for the rest of your life. you might think u have found the right person but sometimes the person we think its right for us its not, wait till youre older and see if still this person is right for you and still has the same love. You should defenitly talk to an elder and ask for counsel, i dont know what else to say cause i dont have much experience in marriage but im sure an elder would be happy to help you, or you can talk to a sister you trust and dont forget to pray to jehovah. Wish you the best

Answer 9

No, you are too young and at an age when your hormones are raging. I remember when I was fourteen, and even tho I was the oldest girl in the family and a honor student, I would have never considered myself mature enough for marriage. If you love the person, both of you can wait until you are at least 18. If your love survives, then you know you were meant for each other. Unless you are in another country than the USA, your parents would have to sign, and I doubt if they would do that.

Answer 10

Are you ready to live the rest of your life with this person?

Are you ready to wake up every morning with this person next to you?

Are you ready to stop having guy friends with this person around?

Can you handle a marriage while going to school?

Enjoy your childhood while you can.

There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship but most 14 year olds lives' are not stable (financially, emotionally, physically) enough to handle marriage

You can still love this guy but you don't have to be married to show it. Put God in the middle of the relationship, you'll be fine!

Just wait another 4 more years, when you're 18 and when you get a much BIGGER and BETTER perspective of life, then you'll be happy you waited to do this...