My 16 yo son has been recently diagnosed with autism and is denying he has any problems, what should I do?

Question

He has had many partial mis-diagnoses like ADHD and OCD, but now that he is properly diagnosed he refuses to accept it and is also refusing to take any medications to help him with it. This is very stressful for me to deal with and I would really appreciate some feasible solutions.

Answer 1

I have a 5 yr old with autism. There is no question about this diagnosis. I think is a good idea to back off a little. Its pretty obvious to me that your son is high-functioning (Asberger's) if they keep misdiagnosing him. Bi-polar is another disorder that closely resembles autism. I have a nephew with ADHD.

The key in treating your son begins with his diet. Remove all junk food, dyes, preservatives, etc. to start with. Start giving him probiotics, digestive enzymes, omega 3,6, 9, minerals -
esp. magnesium, zinc, and calcium, and a multivitamin. Magnesium is good at reducing stress. All of these have tremendously improved my son's behavior. We are also gluten/casein free.
I
I don't believe in using medications unless absolutely neccessary. Theanine ( found in tea- esp. green tea) is a natural antistress supplement. Asking him to drink green tea ( try Arizona brand) may be a good solution.

Putting a label of autism will help get him services like counseling, help with studies, etc. Asking him to join a support group for teenagers with autism is the next step. If he sees other teenagers like himself , the acceptance of this condition will come.

I invite you to join Autism Chat and Share chat room. We are a very supportive group. We have parents, adults with ASD, advocates, psych, etc. in our group. This should help you cope. Its a great place to vent your frustrations and get advice from people in the same situation.
Good Luck , You are not alone.

Answer 2

I just needed to reply to this mainly because of one post that said about bad parenting and bad prenatal care and that medicating to dope up the kids so that adults can be lazy!!!! Well first off, I am a great parent to a child with Aspergers and I had the best prenatal care around, went to all appointmets and followed the docs orders to a T nothing bad went into my body. So why does my child have an Autism Spectrum Disorder? Unless you have walked a mile in my shoes please don't tell us that we are bad parents. Have you ever walked that mile? If not then maybe you should. As to the original post, it is hard for a 16 year old to hear that he is diagnosed with an ASD. But I must tell you that don't always assume that meds will help, depending on what state you live in there is help and therapies. Secondly to the others that say this is a label, if you have diabetes is it a label or a medical condition? Well Autism is a neurological condtion, not a label, this affects a person's brain. It is such a shame that parents get the bad wrap when there is something wrong with their own child, oh not sure if I mentioned this but in addition to being a great parent to a child with Autism, I am also a great parent to a typically developing child, wonder if there is bad parenting going on?

Answer 3

Hi, I am the mother of three kids - 2 boys, aged 6 and 4, and a daughter who's 3. My middle son, now 4, is autistic. I have done a lot of research and reading, and gone to a lot of lectures and doctors.... and I really and truly feel that the vaccines are not the cause of autism. If nothing else, my older son and daughter are fine, and they had the same vaccines, so why did only my middle son become autistic? I don't have the answer. I think the rise in autism is due to the broad spectrum of disorders that fall under the autism diagnosis, and the fact that kids are getting diagnosed better. My son has PDD NOS, which is a mild form of autism.... there are days I wonder - if this was back when I was young... he probably would've been labeled as the "hyper boy" or he is "quirky", etc. don't get me wrong - he definitely has some major issues we are addressing, but I think years ago he would not have been diagnosed as autistic, but nowadays they diagnose better, plus things like ADHD, etc. fall under the autism spectrum, hence the rise in it. With that said - I do have friends that have delayed vaccinations, or spaced them out (not combined them). Its an option if it helps clear your mind. I always thought that if nothing else, I would recognize the symptoms of autism in my subsequent kids earlier, and know what to do, and they would fare so much better, as the earlier they are diagnosed, the better they do. I would just watch your baby's developmental milestones very carefully, and any concerns, have him evaluated by a specialist immediately. I wish you the best of luck!!!!!

Answer 4

He must have a pretty high functioning form of autism if it hasn't even been noticed as such by doctors until now. I would also like to note that if he's already been misdiagnosed twice by doctors, what makes you think this diagnosis is the correct one? When I was young, I was very shy, so I was taken to a shrink who diagnosed me with everything from bipolar disorder to schizophenia - all of which turned out to be BS. If I were you, I would at least get a second opinion to make sure you aren't getting fleeced. And if he doesn't have any behavioral problems that would severely limit his ability to function in society, I would question whether or not it is necessary to do anything at all.

Answer 5

That must be hard for him to deal with. I'd imagine he probably feels pigeonholed and maybe even betrayed...by both his body and his doctors.
I don't know what kind of problems he's having, but if it's possible to let him be for now, I would.
If he's been misdiagnoised before how do you know he is 'properly' diagnoised? Maybe he has a reason not to agree, afterall he knows himself better than anyone else.
Even if they are right and he is wrong, it's possible the treatments they're trying isn't what he needs. Ask him what he thinks, and REALLY listen. It's his life, and his body, and at 16, he's only legally a child for 2 more years, after that he decides what happens. Maybe working with him now to manage might be a good idea, or else if you force it he may not learn how to manage it on his own, or in a way that works, and he may rebel completely.

Answer 6

I have a 16 year old son who is diagnosed with Asperger's. He doesn't want to hear about it. But he needs interventions at school and having that label helps me advocate for him. So, I just acknowledge that he is a unique individual and that his label isn't important. I tell him that he doesn't have to tell anyone about it if he doesn't want to.
This summer he became more open to the fact that he has special needs. This has made a big difference at school this year. He is now actively exploring what supports he needs and participating in accomplishing his goal of becoming more self sufficient. His facilitator asked him who he was and what he had done with Chris because he seems like a different person.
He had a summer job and we were seeing a psychologist this summer. One or the other or both seemed to activate his interests in doing better at school.
I can't tell you if it was just his time, the responsibility of the job or the counseling. But we saw major changes this summer. So, use the diagnosis to help you get what he needs. Focus on the areas where he needs help when you are talking to him.

Here is the link to an article that has helped me. http://richardgpettymd.blogs.com/my_weblog/2006/08/going_to_colleg.html
Also, I like the article "Transition 101" on this site. http://www.nichcy.org/publist.asp

Answer 7

Sometimes people do better without having a label. Many adults went through the system without knowing what their diagnosis was. He may need some time to think this through.

In the meantime, maybe get some counseling for him and you. You can recommend that the school see him at the counseling department.

Maybe explain to him that the meds he is prescribed are prescribed for a variety of reasons... to help him concentrate etc. Ask him to give it a year long try and set up a time once a month to talk about how he thinks it is helping or not.

Is he making friends? Because if he is making friends, he is doing good!

Answer 8

I knew a teenage girl who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, so she joined an Asperger's Yahoo group. It didn't take her any time at all to figure she was misdiagnosed. It finally turned out she was suffering from bi-polar disorder!

And I agree with the majority here. There is no point in insisting on naming a particular set of symptoms. Asperger's Syndrome is probably going to be removed from the DSM V--presumably to bring back "Kanner's Autism."

Until doctors know for certain what causes psychological disorders, all diagnoses are necessarily superficial.

Incidentally; Freud believed everyone on Earth is neurotic. Therefore, the only way to define mental illness is if the symptoms get severe enough to interfere with one's ability to work or love.

Answer 9

Hi Kathy,
My son was 18 when he was diagnosed and also refused to accept it and stopped taking medication. I know you are hoping I have the answers but affraid he is 24 now and has just recently admitting he needs help so am getting him counselling atleast and trying to find a job counselor also. He is very high functioning and assuming yours is also but you really need to try and get help before he is 18 and adult or you will have to really on his accepting it and fighting for himself some and I think you see that won't be easy. I suggest you contact Tri-Counties Regional Center and be persistant as no one seems to truly reach out like you hope but you have to get him in the system before he is a adult or you will be running into the same things i have for 6 yrs and you dont want that.
Wish you luck and feel free to write me a email at [e-mail] if you want to discuss it more.

Answer 10

The more you push the more he'll push back. So give him time to accept the situation. After all he's thinking that this is just another blind alley.

I'm sure there are support groups online, but one in your community would be best, and you may find that you are not alone in this dilemma.

I wouldn't push the meds. Let the doctor do that. It's the doctor's job to treat and counsel, and your job is to make sure he goes to his appointments. By making this aspect a non-issue you will preserve your relationship with your son.

It is difficult to watch someone suffer, but inevitably he will realize that his interest is be treated, if in fact he needs it. But at his age you must accept the fact the he has the right to make the decision.

Perhaps the best way to handle this is to act as if he's okay. Show your love for him, as I'm sure you do, but let things take their course.