anyone afraid of being single forever?!?

Question

dying alone... etc. I'm an attractive woman but I never date. Always alone... it's starting to worry me now. Anyone else? How do you deal?

Answer 1

I would be afraid of being single forever, but that won't happen. I am in a relationship and we will be (fingers crossed) together under one roof soon.

I would suggest you learn to keep a relationship. No person on this planet is ever strong enough to live (and die) by herself. Even the wealthiest. Even the mightiest.

I always think about the theme from an old movie (Mahogany) - - - success is nothing without someone you love to share it with.

Answer 2

No, because I'm not single. However, when I *was* single, I wasn't afraid of being single forever.

Is there a reason you do not date?

Do you dress attractively?

Perhaps you could learn from some of my experiences:

I joined a dating club called Great Expectations back in the late 80s/early 90s. Many of the women there were very picky with who they went out with - of course, some might say I was picky too. But at least I showed up for the dates: sometimes a "lady" would see my pictures and read my profile, accept a date, and then not be there when I arrived. What is that? If you don't want to go out, don't accept the invitation!

Going out with a child of your parent's friends may or may not work: it's a shot in the dark. The only thing I got out of it was some good conversation (sometimes) over a few beers and shooting darts (just one example).

Doing something fun together (e.g. a baseball game) is a great way to break the ice and find common areas of interest. Of course, this only works if the initial attraction is there plus something to suggest further dates.

If I hadn't accepted an invitation of a roommate to go to a downtown nightclub, I would not have met my current wife. In fact, my wife's primary language is Spanish, so the fact that I had a year of Spanish in high school and college certainly helped.

And all I had wanted to do was to ask someone (pretty) to dance since I liked the song so much!

You have to be willing to get out there and take chances; something *will* click if you smile, act friendly and natural - like dancing did for me.

Another thing that attracted me to my wife (besides her bubbly personality) is that she puts others (including me) before her self. Selflessness (or selfishness) shows in the little things - be sure you are selfless.

These are from a guy's perspective - good luck!

Answer 3

I USED to be when I was younger, but not anymore.

Honestly, I've never had a boyfriend but it's never bothered me that much. All you gotta do is gain some confidence! Guys are really into that. If you don't want to be single and you're looking for a non-commited hook-up, doll yourself up, go out and have a blast. If you want a serious or more serious relationship, the key to finding a guy is to not look for one, and he will come to you. If you strain yourself trying to look for mr. perfect you'll end up really disappointed.

However there is a fine line between waiting for guys to flock to you and getting what you want. If you see something you like, GO FOR IT with no restrictions! If you leave a lasting impression, trust me he'll be contacting you soon...

I'm currently single and I'm loving it. You can flirt with whoever you want, not have to worry about the woes of dating..of course that doesn't mean I want to cut off dating forever. Just don't try so hard, relax a little. Fate will fall into place if you just let it happen.

Answer 4

I am not single anymore but I was for a long time, felt like an eternity. Bad luck in relationships. I think you should step out of your comfort zone, date a guy that you normally wouldn't (ie: if you like bad boys, try dating a nice guy). As you are attractive, it may be possible that men are intimidated.... maybe you should ask someone out. I highly doubt you will stay single forever because the good ones always get snatched up :) Good luck!

Answer 5

Sugar, without knowing you, your age, circumstances, etc, but having been there before I'd like to gently suggest the possibility that perhaps all you have to do is NOT give off vibes that say "closed". It's a very subtle expression and changing this doesn't happen overnight, but be ready to accept peoples' genuine interest when it comes along (at least be aware of the inclination to be "closed" and resist it). Even women can be friends and have friends they might introduce to you. Might even be easier to practice with them since there's less risk of certain complicated issues with men. It'll seem like a struggle at first but I can attest it gets easier. That's how I got by at first. Women that met me thought I was a good guy (at least not a creep) and introduced me to their friends, too. Before long I was less insulated. I'm 60 now, been married 30 years to the same woman and raised 2 boys to adulthood.

If this doesn't even sound close you're welcome to use it to cover the birdcage bottom, wrap fish, line the trashcan, etc.

Forgot to mention: I recall thinking my goal should be to strive to be a social butterfly. It turned out that wasn't even necessary and was expecting too much from myself. It's OK to be quiet if you want to be.

Answer 6

I used to be, but have actually come to enjoy the freedom of my independence. There's days when I get a bit down thinking about being alone. Those are the days when I spend extra time with my sons, grandkids, family or friends to remind myself to appreciate all the great things I have in life. It also helps when I visit with my married friends and listen to their marital complaints....makes me thankful I don't have to deal with all that drama. Stay focused on all the positive things you have in your life. We're only as alone as we choose to be. I'd rather be alone than to be with some guy who doesn't treat me like I deserve to be treated. There's so many people out there that are with someone and feel more alone and lonely than those of us who are unattached.

Answer 7

Hey Sugar
I am a man in the same situation. Always alone.
gave up on dating. Too disappointing.
Not afraid though.
How do I deal with it you ask?
I accept my solitude and appreciate my independence.
but have no real purpose in life.

Answer 8

I think we all have a fear of dying alone. I think that some women date and get married just so that they aren't alone....and that's for the wrong reason.
If you truly want to find someone though, you need to get out there and socialize...you'll never find that special person by sitting around and waiting....
Have faith.
And if you don't necessarily want a boyfriend/husband/lover...look to your friends and family for support...with them...You are NEVER alone.

Answer 9

The best way to deal (i've found) is that I've got to be happy with myself, fulfilled with thoughts and ideas, and be striving to enjoy the world as I've found it. Every now and agin the thought comes up and then i have to think..."so--what's so bad about not being married?" or "what's so harsh about living alone?". Usually that helps calm my temporary urge to rush to a bottle of scotch or take an aspirin..lol
Really, just find things you like to do and then RELAX..Enjoy them and you'll find yourself much better off.
Good luck

Answer 10

Everyone (!) has this fear at some point of time. You should not sit home all the time! You need to design a plan of how you can start going out, finding friends, and dating. Keep trying and sooner or later things will start happening for you.