My neighbour and I went to friends house today. She only just moved into it and has got a lot of new furniture. We all have toddlers and my neighbour asked her if she can give her child some food, the friend said yes but don't let any get on the rug (new floor rug). I saw my neighbours eyes flash and then she went very quiet, I could tell she was pissed off and she left shortly after, I stayed because I would have felt really rude to just leave this girl after 15 minutes of visiting. Now my neighbour is calling me and telling me how annoyed she is about our friend not letting the kids run around eating and I don't know what to say because I think its her house and if she doesnt want crumbs on her rug she has every right to say that. I don't want to be involved in this silly argument at all but I live 2 houses from my neighbour and I know I will be! What can I say to be completely neutral?
2007-09-05 17:54:52 · 15 answers · asked by SmEllY! 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Just be neutral you have to get along with both of them or none of them. When she starts to talk about it change the subject be postive, it will blow over when the other one sees you still going around over there. Besides new carpet & furniture is something to be proud of....... Not everyone lets there kids run around on the carpet new or not. It's just a good rule if you want to take care of your stuff. Kids don't care if you give them another place to have fun. They are going to have rules everywhere they go.
2007-09-05 18:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she had every right in the world to let your neighbor know that she didn't want food on the rug. Your neighbor should have been more considerate and made her child sit at a table and eat. When you are a guest at someones house it is only proper for you and your children to behave and have manners. What she does at her own house is up to her. If she doesn't mind the mess of food all over the place that is fine but she should think twice about doing that at someone elses house. At my house I don't mind if somethings gets spilled or there are crumbs on the sofa but when I visit my sisters house(she has a 2 year old) I make sure that my kids eat at the table and don't make a mess or if they do they pick it up. My sister has one rule about the house and that is we take our shoes off when we enter (it is a new house) and although I don't agree with that policy I do it out of respect. I think you should tell your neighbor the next time she feels the need to bring up how annoyed she is that you don't think your friend was out of line and leave it at that. I wouldn't bring up the issues unless she does but don't be afraid to voice your opinion.
2007-09-06 15:39:31 · answer #2 · answered by hazeleyes1279 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Direct the comments from the neighbor to new neighbor. Tell the neighbor that maybe she should discuss this with the new neighbor. You could be honest if the neighbor is a real friend and tell her how you feel. If not, tell her in joking manner, "would you eant someones kids spilling things on your rug?". If all fails listen to both sides and say nothing.
2007-09-06 01:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenix 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could grin and bear it, and just listen. But honestly, do you feel neutral? Try to politely say, "hey, she didn't mean it to insult you, but they were brand new rugs! All kids are messy."
Just be honest. It isn't that big a deal. Don't let yourself be put in that situation. Do you really want to listen to your neighbor bending your ear off about the next little tiff or disagreement? Steer clear by being upfront. Play dumb and act like you didn't realize it offended her so much.
2007-09-06 01:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by mustlovedogs 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're getting in the middle by stating your opinion. Sounds like the neighbor is being a little selfish, so maybe if you say it in a nice way, it will wake her up to that. Just say how you feel. "Well, I'm sure if I had new things, I wouldn't want people to have their kids get crumbs all over my new stuff either." Then change the subject.
2007-09-06 01:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by trapeze 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not be neutral or you will be in the middle. Just tell your angry friend to get over it. It is up to everyone how to allow kids to behave in their house. I cannot stand kids running around with food. There should be a place for them to have it. I had a little picnic table in the dining room. My kids were not allowed to have red juice of any kind in the house.
Your angry friend is the one being rude by wanting others to follow her rules.
2007-09-06 01:02:37 · answer #6 · answered by Chloe 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes I agree, it's her house and is she doesn't want stains on the rug, seems totally normal. It's not like she said..yeah send the toddlers out in the driveway to eat.
I would just be totally honest to the freind that left, and tell her, you feel uncomfortable being in the middle of the situation, and to please keep you out of it. She should understand that. If not, then I think she is being unreasonable.
Good luck!
2007-09-06 01:04:53 · answer #7 · answered by hb kitten 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't be neutral, so don't kid yourself. If you go back to her house, you are saying that it is ok to restrict the food. If you stay away you are saying that you disagree. Sorry, but you have to choose sides.
My personal feeling is that kids are running rampant all over everything everywhere. Kids were meant to eat in the kitchen. The visitor was wrong.
2007-09-06 01:05:27 · answer #8 · answered by mel s 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
what is her problem? she is mad bc her friend wouldn't let her ruin her new rug. that is messed up. ok but that wasn't the question just tell her you want to stay out of it. and that if she has a problem with it don't take her child over there any more.
2007-09-06 01:03:03 · answer #9 · answered by fairy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about being completely neutral. You would expect your neighbor to abide by your house rules as you would do for the people you visit. Not all people have the same rules in their house, and children will need to learn that as they grow up.
2007-09-06 01:02:52 · answer #10 · answered by Julie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋