My boyfriend is the biggest baby on the planet. I just started birth control, not for sex, but because I have irregular hormones and it helps regulate them so I don't get odd periods during the months. He automatically thinks that means no condoms during sex, which I've announced many times that birth control is not 100% safe and I want to be as safe as possible. After hearing that he went into whine mode and said that he caves in everything I want and why can't I just let him "have me the way he wants" I still am sticking my ground as I want to be safe, but he clearly isn't having it and it's beginning to piss me off. He's ranting, raving and cursing at me about it and it's not like using condoms will deflate how I feel about him, so what's the big deal? I seriously don't know what I should do anymore. HELP!
2007-09-05 17:45:24 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I really do love him and we've been together for such a long time and haven't even had sex yet, but I am determined to be extremely safe.
We've fought about these things, from why I don't just go on birth control in the first place [which I didn't want to unless it was for a medical condition..which it is] and why I won't just give in to him. It's not that I don't trust him, I do trust him. He's had way more girlfriends than I have had boyfriends and I've never been with any of my exes. He's admitted to having unprotected sex multiple times with his previous girlfriends and that just irks me the wrong way. I'm not judging him on it, but it makes me want to be more safe.
I can't ever bring that up to him or he'll go off on how I don't trust him, which isn't the case.
2007-09-05 17:56:18 · update #1
If you two are are being monogamous, there really is no reason that he should have to wear a condom if you are already on birth control. Yes, you are minimizing the chance of pregnancy further with the use of a condom, but only by less than a few percentage points, if that. If you are already on birth control, you really shouldn't worry about pregnancy, if it happens, it was meant to be. STD's are another story, if you guys aren't monogamous, by all means, continue with the condoms.
2007-09-05 17:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by suspendedagain300 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he never felt it without a condom before and figures he can browbeat you into submission. Among guys that feeling, the first time, is legend and he can't stand it being just out of reach. You can 1) stand your ground, which is probably the best choice (my wife had the same issues as you) 2) use this as an opportunity to extort something you want (jewelry, power, money, promises he probably won't keep but would make excellent "but you said you'd..." material later) or 3) an excuse to find another bf. Any way you look at it you're the boss.
2007-09-05 17:58:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are so right about everything you said. i also took the pill for the same reason at one time and it really did help regulate my periods.
also, he is acting VERY childish. just like a temper tantrum of a child who cannot get his way. it doesn't speak very well of how he handles disappointment.
he is not even being reasonable, so how do you reason with someone when he is like that? you do exactly what you are doing. stick to your guns!
this is not only about birth control (which as you said, the pill is not 100% safe) but also about control. you are smart to want to have some control over your own body and your future..if you both are not prepared to be parents (obviously, he is not) then he needs a time out. ;)
2007-09-05 17:59:32 · answer #3 · answered by shyanne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you 100% he will respect that you want to be safe. If he has had sexual relationships before that were not protected, you could be putting yourself up for potential risk of contracting stds or even AIDs from him. And if you aren't married then I'm sure you don't want to get pregnant. It's hard enough having a first child when you're married let alone when you're just dating. Stick your ground....if he can't respect this as the one thing that you are serious about...maybe you need to reconsider your position with him.
2007-09-05 18:08:22 · answer #4 · answered by high heels & hoes :) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him.
If he aint listenin to u, then get another boyfriend.
First tho, do u love him? If u can honestly say yes and really mean it, then maybe u can do some other stuff to satisfy him more. Don't give in on the condoms tho. I mean sure condoms are a bit restrictive, but not enough to go ballistic over.
Do lots of foreplay with him and stimulate him as much as possible in other ways before u have sex (with condom).
If u got any doubts tho if u love him, then dump him.
2007-09-05 17:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
seriously stick to your guns!!! Condoms are not ONLY for birth control you know. They are to stop the spread of disease and I do not care HOW much you trust your partner, you can never know for 100% certainty that they are not messing around, or that they are carrying a disease from a previous encounter that neither of you know anything about. Don't give in because he wants that. If he can't love you enough to respect your wishes in this life or death manner, he is not the one for you. Do you want to give in to someone to stop a fight by putting your life on the line?
2007-09-05 17:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by Erin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most guys say that they don't get the same feelings when they use condoms. That is no reason for you to have to give in, however. It is better to be safe than sorry, and I certainly don't blame you for taking that stand. Besides, too many girls have gotten VD from guys that they thought were faithful to them but were having sex elsewhere. Believe me, I know. My daughter's husband gave her Chlamydia when she was pregnant. He got it from a stripper. She would never have guessed that he had been unfaithful.
2007-09-05 17:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-04 01:53:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always dump him.
You'll notice, that of all the questions that have appeared on Yahoo! Answers, there has never been one by a man asking: "Why do all these women want to have sex with me, and how do I turn them down gracefully?"
There are plenty more where he came from. Just find someone who's willing to wear a condom, and be done with it.
2007-09-05 17:53:47 · answer #9 · answered by Marc M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah!!! he is being stupid not a baby just plain stupid.
tell him u willing to do anything else as far as sex is concerned but he will use a condom and that is non negotiable.
if he continues to whine (then u in danger anyway, of him actually taking the thing off whiles "doing things" ur way)
give him the ultimatum then
2007-09-05 17:52:47 · answer #10 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋