This guy who I have fallen deeply for is leaving for the army soon. I have never felt more close with anybody not even my own family. I know I can't force him into a relationship..he said he'd be with me if he wasn't leaving..and I'm not sure what a guy would expect of me? Would he wan't to hear that I'll be waiting for him or what? He means the world that I would do just that..but I'm not sure if a guy would be thrilled to hear a girl let them know that they will be waiting for them back at home? I just can't bare to think of losing the one person I feel so right with. I understand he needs to live a life of his own and I support that but I would one day hope to start where we leave off...so how do I tell him all this? What do you think I should do, what would a guy want for me to say or do?
2007-09-05 17:06:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When it is the right relationship for both then he would be sharing the same feelings you are sharing.
It could be that you realized sooner then he, that you are in love with him so he might come around.
Ask him what he would like you do to while he is on tour of duty?
If he says, well you are a free person, do whatever, well then that kind of gives you your answer.
Just keep in touch with him and what ever you do, don't pour out your heart in every letter, become his best friend and hopefully the love will bloom..
Good luck
2007-09-05 17:13:26 · answer #1 · answered by kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're better off just not saying anything.
I know it's hard, and people will tell you "tell him how you feel" but this isn't one of those situations. You could scare him, or something. If it's meant to be he'll be missing you just as much as you're missing him, and it doesn't need to be said, in my opinion.
And keep in mind going to the army changes people. You seem to be very dependant on the idea that he will be with you. Maybe while he's away you should start to date casually, so if it doesn't work out (which is not what I hope at all), then it won't be such a crushing blow.
He may not come back the same person.
2007-09-06 00:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by Shaggy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He said to you "He'd be with you if he wasn't leaving"...so I would sit down with him and talk with him. Let him know that you are willing to wait, if he feels it's worth holding onto your relationship and you both can pickup where you leave off when he gets back*
That is a major comittment from you tho....you don't really know how long he'll be gone for...etc>..i'm not sure how long you two have been together either...so it really would depend on those answers if you should sit with him and talk bout this or not* it may scare him away .........But Honesty is the best policy*........put your feelings on the table....let him know how you're feeling, what you're thinking..plans are...........IF he feels the same way he'll let you know...if not...at least you'll have an answer as to if you should wait for him or not~*
BEstWisheS*
2007-09-06 00:14:00 · answer #3 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never said if he wants a relationship as much as you...If he does, by all means give him a lot of support. If you're NOT sure give him a little support. If you're just hoping and stuck on the guy and he wants to experience other girls, I'd say look for someone else in the mean time.
Don't hang on him unless he shows interest for you to do that.
2007-09-06 00:22:30 · answer #4 · answered by Carl R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him when he will be back , even for a visit , and say you would be delighted to see him later. If your relationship is more serious then sure , tell him you will wait for him .
You have to have some idea of how long thats going to be . Its one thing if he is deployed overseas to combat, and another if he is at a base in the US, with leave on weekends where he can go into town and meet other women.
2007-09-06 00:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by mark 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about you ask him if he'd like that.. say, if you want me to, I will wait for you. But, I need to know if that it was you want before I commit myself to you. It's as simple as that. It shouldn't be too hard, and it is something that you've got to do, because if not, who knows what will happen. Let me tell you my story. i was dating this amazing guy, who wanted all the same things in life as me, and treated me soooo well. He was send to Iraq. We never made it 'official', because we were only 'dating' before he left. I never spoke up to ask him what he wanted, but looking back now, I know he wanted me to wait for him, but he did not want to ask me to do that, knowing he'd be gone a year, and may not come back at all. So, he leaves, and I meet someone else. I dated the new guy for 5 years. This guy treated me horribly, not at first, of course, but I 'loved' him so I put up with it. After destroying my life in so many ways, the new guy decides to cheat on me after living together for 5 years. It broke my heart. It was very hard. I still talk to the first guy, and he's told me how upset he was to find out I had moved on while he was gone. I cannot tell you how much I wish now, that I would've talked to him, committed myself to him.. if I had done that, even though I may have met the other guy still, I wouldn't have started a relationship with him. I wouldn't have gone through all that pain, and I would be with someone now who makes me happy, instead of single with a broken heart. So, even though this is not always the case.. the moral is, you never know what will happen, and it would be best if you two are on the same page. Don't let something as silly as embarrassment come between you and who may be 'the one'.
2007-09-06 00:18:54 · answer #6 · answered by Tina W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a big decision, because he may never return if he gets killed in battle.
Giving him a false hope is not fair to him, and giving yourself a fantasy you may not see come true, is also not fair to yourself.
Be very close friends above all, and write to each other often. See how you feel in 6 months, after he's gone. Loving a military man takes a very strong woman.
Goo luck to both of you.
2007-09-06 00:14:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you should just see what happens when he gets home after he did his 4 years or however long he is doing u r prob still young and there is so many people out ther dont wast your time if you all dont meet ne one when he comes back then tell him how u feel im in the same place u r and im just living life up while im young u should do yhe same.
2007-09-06 00:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by cs_am05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him that if he feels the same way you;re willing to wait for him...I bet it would mean the world to him and give him something more to look forward to coming home to
2007-09-06 00:10:09 · answer #9 · answered by Gabrielle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long will he be away? Can you go with him? What happens if you wait for him and then find out he has someone else?
2007-09-06 00:11:20 · answer #10 · answered by Kell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋