My Mother...?

Question

Im very confused about my mother.
Im am thirteen years old. I live with my Grandparents because she was very irresponsible when i was with her. My mom had me at a very young age and was very rebellious(she had ran away from home at...i believe 16 or 17). I've never met my father, and shes never told me anything about him. I would like to meet him, but i never feel sad that i didnt know him. =\
She has had countless boyfriends, some abusive, some sleazy, and one was even a convict. And out of all of them only one was the best. He really cared about her and wanted her to quit her job.(which i forgot to mention is stripping) But she is very aggressive at times, and thats why she let go such a good guy. She wants her boyfriends to not have a mind of there own, and if they do she gets very pissed off. And they usually leave her.
Recently she had gotten out of her 4th DWI, she went to jail, wore a leg bracelet (house arrest-type thing) for a couple of months.
(Hold on there more)

While she was unemployed a bunch of her friends and my family really wanted her to finish school and get a college education, and since shes a minority it would be some-what easier for her.

But she blew all of that off.
In her 4th DWI she had to go to probation and she had her liscense taken away. But she got a car anyway, and started driving around, when she could have easily taken the taxi or bus. Now a couple of weeks ago she had gotten her 5th and 6th DWI's. She had been at a party with her newest boyfriend, she started yelling at this neighboor lady (who had come to the party.) she even found a pickaxe and start threatening her with it. =\
Now you can see how aggresive she can be.
A couple other occasions this happened was when her late boyfriend and her were fighting and she starting throwing kitchen knives at him. She also sat ontop of her other late boyfriends car and was jumping on it, screaming and yelling and slashing the tires.

Almost done... =___=

Now to make a long story short.
She doesnt care about me, my family, or her "so-called friends". Shes made that shes stuck in a holding cell, and the bail is 100,000. =\
She might go to prison for 5-10 years...

Now my question is....why is she like this?
She seems very polite and nice when ever she visits my grandmother/grandfather and I. But she can become a who 'nother person when she drinks... =\
Obviously she's an alcoholic.

But i think she'll might have something similar to Bi-polar Disorder....


Please tell me what your thoughts on her are?

~thanks

Please excuse any typing errors, i had to kind of hurry. ^^;;

Arg...i just noticed a bunch of typing errors...oh well, you get my drift right?


o___o

Thanks for the kind answers, guys. ♥

It just seems like she doesnt even think about what she does at times...i love her, but wish she wasn't like this. >__<

Culater.
Well, did i ever state that i wanted sympathy?
Because i most certainly do not need yours. =\
The only reason i decided to type this much was to better explain the situation with my mother.
And i was really hoping for speculations as to why she acts like this.... =\
I appreciate you're insight, but dont ever accuse me of wanting sympathy... =\


But thanks anyways. :3

Answer 1

You poor sweetheart. (((HUGS))) I wish I could get in my car right now and have you come live with me. No child should have to go through this. Some women are capable of conceiving a baby and delivering it but they cannot parent. It does sound like your mom has alot of problems but NONE of it is your fault. She makes her own choices. Your grandparents are angels for stepping in and caring for you. (give them hugs from me too!) Sadly, you have learned from your mom what type of woman and mother not to be. Keep your chin up...YOU have alot to offer to the world. Finish school, go to college and make something of yourself. Once again, your mom is sick and this in no way, shape or form has anything to do with you. You are a gift from God. I will keep you in my prayers.

Bless you sweet child!

Answer 2

I'm not sure what your question is.....

But of course, that never stops me from giving advice. Take a good hard look at the mess your mother has made with her life. She has basically abandoned her child, has casual sex, gets involved with losers, and abuses alcohol and drugs.

I once heard it said that some people best serve as bad examples and it sounds like your mother is one of those. Yes - she probably has some addictions. She more than likely has extremely low self-esteem and/or was abused herself.

You are 13 years old. You have a WHOLE life ahead of you. Is that what you want? Do you want to slide through each day using boyfriends, alcohol and your children as inconsequential? If the answer is no, then you must make a choice to have a life!

Having a life means finding what truly satisfies you when you wake up in the morning. You can do this. It may mean addressing issues that no one else in your family has spoke of for years. This may mean discussing emotional abuse and how you have suffered. But - if you continue to make forward progress, then keep pushing.

Life can be good and fulfilling. Make that your goal.

Answer 3

Honestly, I don't like my son's other Mom. She abandoned him with an abuser. Then when Drew contacted he last year she told him she wanted nothing to do with him and wished she would have aborted him because he was "retarded". Who the hell says this to a 13 year old child? I can understand if she doesn't want a relationship with him, But she didn't need to be such a witch about it. And in another sense, I feel bad for her. She is missing out on getting to know a very intelligent child (young man). He is far from being mentally disabled. He is an honor roll student that excels at any sport he trys and had his priorities in order. I am proud of our son. I just wish she would get to know him and see the young man I do., not the child she thought he was.

Answer 4

Sweetie, sometimes life just isn't fair and sometimes peoples actions can't be explained. It sounds like you've had a pretty rough life and I'm really sorry to hear that. This is one of those things that people can't answer, that people can't explain, because it's her choice to act like that. If you think it's psychological, I'm sure that it is, but no one can diagnose your mom, unless they are her doctor. It is most likely the alcohol that is making her act that way...but I can't be sure of anything, because I'm not there. Why is she an alcoholic? Alcohol is very addicting, physically, without alcohol, she would go through withdrawals, that's why she keeps drinking..because she's addicted to it. I know that doesn't really answer your question, but I hope that it helped you understand that you can't explain peoples actions...not really or truthfully.

Answer 5

It sounds like your mom has alot of things going on with her and I really hope that you don't end up like her. Have you, yourself tried to help your mother. If not them maybe you should really talk to her. Im sorry that you have to go threw this at such a young age and I know that it can be tough sometimes. Just try to make the best of it all and I'll pray for you and your mom.

Answer 6

Bi-polar or not, your mom definitely has issues. She needs to "grow up." It is a very good thing that you are with your grandparents. At least watching your mom live her life the way she does, you have a better idea what choices to make in life. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

For thirteen, you know to much, as for your mother, she has issue, do not use them as a crutch, Thank God you live with your grandparents and your mother was willing to do what it took to give you a better life, but get off the "I want sympathy" and appreciate the life you have, As for your father, well, he has a pretty good invisible act, do not follow it.

Answer 8

i guess she was never ready to have you...it must have beee really hard to have all this responsibitity dumped on her when she was still so young, she probably wants to have some of that drama she missed...im not saying your moms doing a good thing...shes a misrible parent, but i think there might be something you dont know about her yet...do some fam. history. ask your grands( theyre always the best resource for family history!) hpe i helped!

Answer 9

oh my gosh! i have a friend who has a story similar to all of this! i just want you to know that there are people who care about you, and even if you think your mom doesnt care....she does deep down. she just doesnt know how to show it.
i grew up in a very loving, supporting family, but i have always had sympathy for those who were not as fortunate as me. this will sound so cheesy, but if you ever want to talk, i would LOVE to email you because you sound sweet and fun! my email is [e-mail] (i am 14, btw!)

Answer 10

1. Your mother needs to have the Lord in her life.
2. She has to admit she has a problem.
3. She has to want to change.
4. She has to want to seek help for herself.

Pray for her. She needs prayer(s).
I will also say a prayer for her to seek the Lord with all her heart and may the Lord forgive her of her sins.
-God Bless.