I am in college, and I am 26 and it seems like they act suspicious when you ask them out, and like it's a sin or something. What do you think, and has anyone been in this situation before? Could age be a factor with them? If I like someone I wold ask them out as long as they are 18. Is that bad????
2007-09-05 16:28:56 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I know quite a few "Christian women" that don't "go out with" anyone. Are you talking about asking them to go to a ball game with a bunch of friends or taking them to church or a church function OR are you talking about "going out" as in dinner/movie...just the two of you?
I can tell you that any number of Christian young women (and older women such as myself) aren't interested in traditional "dating". Some young women are blessed with a wisdom that others of us don't develop until we are older...they seem to instinctively know what some of us had to learn the hard way.
Traditional dating is a very poor strategy for getting to know another person. Hand holding, hugging, kissing, flowers, whispered compliments, all those "romantic" things can cloud your vision faster than a camera flash in the eyes in a dimly lit room! It can tempt you to "bend the rules" and step over the line between obedience and disobedience. Thanks but NO thanks...I prefer to decide who I will marry with a clear mind.
If you want to get to know a woman that thinks anything like I think, you're going to need to get involved in activities she enjoys so you can get to know her as a friend...and you're going to have to accept that you might not even kiss her until the preacher says, "you may kiss your bride"! I'm not suggesting that all or even most "Christian women" think this way, but if the one(s) you're interested in do plan to reserve sex for marriage, you won't get anywhere by asking them out!
2007-09-05 17:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by KAL 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It isn't necessarily bad, and not necessarily sinful, either. It depends on the date you suggest. Some women may not feel comfortable dating someone they feel they have just met. Yes, only knowing someone a week does count as "having just met".
Give the ladies some time, and back down a little. Instead of asking for a date, for example, meet them in the cafeteria and chat over lunch. Join a study group for a mutual class, and meet in the library. Take the time to get to know someone a little, before advancing to dinner and a movie. Technically, that is more intense "courting", and should wait a little while.
I've been in this situation before. I was only 21 when I met the man who is now my husband, and he was 26. I had only seriously courted one guy before, and the relationship stunk. I wasn't in any hurry. Thankfully, neither was he! It helped a lot.
We have now been married almost 20 years. Be patient, little brother!
2007-09-05 23:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by MamaBear 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That depends entirely on the person. She might be a little bit scarred from something in her past, thus she'd be a tiny bit paranoid. Or she might be like me and always suspect a person's motive due to simple experience in the dating field prior.
Being Christian has nothing to do with it. Well, okay, there are some branches, such as Catholicism, that have problems with non-denomination partners. But this is simply because they believe it would be too damaging to mix in a way that will be certain to bring out religious arguments - some of the most dividing arguments of them all.
For the most part, however, faith is not a factor.
2007-09-05 23:33:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it's an issue of faith. What do you mean by suspicious? I think if you want to ask someone out, then ask them out. If they're not interested, then they're not. If they are, good for the both of you. Again, I don't think that it's an issue of their faith, unless you are an outspoken Atheist, or even Agnostic. If this is the case, then there's good reason why they wouldn't be interested. Those of us who are Christians, prefer to date someone who has our same beliefs, as I believe that people in general probably do as well, because this is something that we need to agree on. If you're not Christian, do you want to start seeing someone who is? If you do, that is great - maybe you'll want to convert. But if it's not something that you believe you can ever convert to, why spend time with someone who believes? You could just be setting yourself up for failure. If you're just looking for someone to spend time with, on a romantic level, for a short time, then a Christian girl is not the one to go after. Generally we have ideas about how we want our lives to be and jumping from one meaningless relationship to another is simply not part of our plans (I said generally because there's always the exception).
2007-09-05 23:44:54 · answer #4 · answered by CUrias 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a problem with an 18 year old and a 26 year old dating as long as she is mature enough to handle it and that you are sensitive to her age and beliefs.
I assume you are a Christian as well. Therefore, you know that there are things that sisters that are saved do not do. Maybe you should spend more time getting to know them in a group setting before you ask them to spend time with you alone.
They could be avoiding temptation.
2007-09-06 09:24:08 · answer #5 · answered by blesssedservant 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It maybe an issue of style, it may be that woman are not easy, it may be that you need to ask twice as many woman, and it may be that they are saying yes but you are hearing no.
Do you suggest a particular place you will take her? What kind of a place did you suggest? Do you suggest a well lighted place to have a casual talk and get to know each other. Are you building up to the big question of going out? Did you give them a chance to see who you are and how you are? Are you forgetting the preliminary stages? Do you see dating as a simple situation, or is it a fairly complicated ritual?
Do you know what a ritual is and how you find out what the steps are? Have you found out the steps and tried following them. That may be the problem if you haven't defined to steps to asking a lady to go out with you? How would you find out? Who would you ask.
Good luck!
2007-09-05 23:44:16 · answer #6 · answered by zclifton2 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's not wrong or bad with that age difference. When I was 18 I went out with a 25 year old. But you have to take into consideration that they might not want such an age span. Just do yourself a favor and look for young 20's. I'm 20 ;-)
2007-09-05 23:36:03 · answer #7 · answered by Low Rain 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
thats not so much if a christian or not, that has to do with how their raised, if they were in a bad relationship and reasons like that. i have a friend who isnt a christian and she still lives back in the day where the guy ask out girls, guys calls girls and so forth. i would be kinda scared cause i wouldnt want no more retards like what i had in the past.
2007-09-05 23:37:38 · answer #8 · answered by warrior*in*the*making 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
james: Remember; she is 18 years of age, and is apprehensive about "dating" a 26 year old man. You must really like her to want to be with her ? Respect her feelings and make provision for her age in the "light" of your desire to be with her. She is becoming [hasn't arrive there yet] a woman in her mental maturity. Go slow and consider her feelings in regard to this.
2007-09-05 23:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should take it very slow. Give her time and if it is meant to be, hey, she'll come around. Just pray and God will lead you more in detail what to do. Give it time. I don't know what the deal is about the 18yrs old. MAKE SURE THAT SHE IS LEGAL AGE. Love you
2007-09-05 23:35:06 · answer #10 · answered by Erica L 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋