I am 31 my wife is 32 and I don't want kids until I finish school 4 more years 1 year undergrad 3 years of masters
2007-09-05 16:21:03 · 28 answers · asked by bornwith3nuts 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
12
2007-09-05 16:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I was 20 with first and 23 with second. I am 25 now. I have just completed my last course while being a SAHM and it really wasn't bad at all. I did it inbetween sleeping time for the younger one (older one is at school 5days now) and at night. Usually only 2-3 nights a week for an hour or two. Now that my 2nd is 2.5yrs I am all done, have been able to juggle studying and being a sahm mum and have just started to apply for jobs (had an interview this morning...fingers crossed!)
I wouldn't wait too much longer as the older your wife gets the harder it is to TTC. Above 35 and the chances of autism, down syndrome just to name 2 are heaps higher and the qualtiy of her eggs lessen each year. Pregancy can be demanding on her body also.
Keeping up with kids is also really hard and demanding and with youth on your side at the moment I would be doing it sooner rather than later. The older you get the harder it gets.
There is never going to be a 'perfect' time to have children, but if you wait till 36-37 for the first that means close to 40 or older by the time number 2 comes and the risks won't be in your favour.
Its a decision that I think would ultimately come down to when your wife is ready and able to have children if you are studying as she would be doing the hard yakka.
Best of luck to you and your wife on making your decision.
2007-09-05 23:43:18 · answer #2 · answered by Cindy; mum to 3 monkeys! 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
23 with my first and now I'm pregnant again. I'll be 25 when baby comes. While I can appreciate where you're coming from as far as school and work, no matter how you try to plan things, life interrupts you.
We didn't plan on having any kids until I was 28-ish and my husband was 30-ish and well established in the family business. Then we were surprised to find out we were pregnant after only being married 6 months (exactly, to the day)
So now we have a 13month old and we just found out we're pregnant again. Once again we were surprised...we didn't plan on trying to have another baby until our dd was at least 3.
Don't get so caught up in planning everything...you'll miss out on living your life.
2007-09-05 23:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by Green Is Sexxxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 21 when I had my first and I now have 3 kids. The longer you wait the harder it may be for your wife. I was 21 and I had so many complications with all my pregnancies. I suggest, you have her go to her OB/GYN and have her checked and to make sure she'll be okay to carry a full term baby in 4 years or even now for that matter. My sister was told by her doctor that this would be her last year otherwise she could have lots of complications. It truly depends on your wife's health. Consult a doctor for this.
2007-09-07 01:07:04 · answer #4 · answered by ods 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 17 when I had my first child, 19 with the second.
I am glad that I had kids early. They are teenagers now and I don't know if I would be able to keep up with them if I were much older.
However, looking back I realize the stresses of life at such a young age was overwhelming to me and I did not appreciate and cherish my time with them as much as I would have liked.
I recommend waiting until you finish your undergrad. You want to be able to enjoy the kids, but don't want to wait forever. There will always be a reason to put it off. First, school... then getting ahead at your new job... etc.
2007-09-05 23:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by Deonna R 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
30, then 32
Four more years puts her at a tough time, reproductively. Thirty six is when they start talking about increased risks for Down's and other genetic disorders.
Talk to her again. Men rarely feel the same biological pressures as the ladies do.
Consider a shorter master's program. Several of the better on line ones are 18 months.
Good luck!
2007-09-05 23:31:30 · answer #6 · answered by nicolemcg 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First child = 25
Second child = 28
The hubby was 29 the first time, 32 the second time. He ended up finishing his MBA between the first and second baby, but we both had our undergrad degrees before we got married.
My mother in law told me once that if you wait until you get everything done that you want to get done before having kids, you'll end up never having them at all. I have so many friends who have waited so long to have kids, they're now having a hard time getting pregnant at all (they're between 35-40).
2007-09-06 01:42:16 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 16 when I had my daughter. I'm glad I had her because years later when I got married, I had countless miscarriages and 2 tubal pregnancies which ended my chances of ever having a kid with my husband. He doesn't have any kids but my daughter has a 3 and 1 year old and one due any day now. We see them everyday and love them dearly. I am 39 and my husband is 42.
2007-09-06 00:26:57 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was 18 with the first and 26 with the 2nd. Sometimes I wish I'd waited but then I wouldn't have my son so it worked out. Be careful with waiting too long. My brother and SIL did that and now she probably won't be able to have any at all. It's also much riskier the older your wife gets (both for her and the baby)
Good luck with whatever you decide to do! ;-)
2007-09-06 00:15:33 · answer #9 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 23
2007-09-05 23:35:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋