Small, almost unnoticeable wave - what would you think?

Question

I'm very quiet, soft-spoken and a little shy. Usually don't initiate conversations. At work, if I see my coworkers, I usually smile and give them almost an almost unnoticeable wave - like I'll lift my hand to cheek level and move my fingers slightly up and down. It's definitely not an extravagant wave, just a very small one, probably almost unnoticeable. I'll rarely actually say hi to people though - think it has to do with the shyness. But I'm worried about people thinking that I'm rude or making fun of me. I waved to this one girl I work with today - she usually smiles at me when I do this.

If you worked with me, what would you think? Would you think I was rude because I didn't actually verbalize a "hello"? Would you make fun of me when I wasn't around? Do you think it's obvious to them that I'm a little shy?

I also smile when I wave...

Answer 1

My first response would be; where has the insecurity stemmed from? I take it you are a matured female. I would think you would be more concerned about finding the problem than the reaction to the problem.. What you present is suggestive of something you brought from childhood..But for what reason remains to be seen.

Similar reactions are not uncommon but do indicate a particular situation that is long standing. I do feel there is some guilt factor involved. Plus a pretty low level of confidence. The more these reactions seem to tie together, indicates a specific situational episode in the younger years. The emotional response has become a trigger for your presenting actions. That trigger coming from the sub-conscious level of the mind. You remain totally unaware of where it is coming from but, it does render much influence on your every day activities.

Should these conclusions seem to fit, I am available to answer questions. Can IM or email according to links on my profile.

Answer 2

I can honestly say I would never make fun of you or laugh at you. I would do what I could to help you to not be so shy, as I know how that is. I use to be very shy. I would turn beet red if anyone talked to me when I was young, up to about 24. Now, I'm 40 and people who know me now can not believe I use to be "shy". It is obvious that you are worried about what people think of you. Don't. As long as you are professional, courteous when need be, nothing says you have to "socialize" with the people you work with. Sometimes it is a blessing when you don't. You don't say how long you have worked there, but, maybe you just aren't comfortable there yet. Give yourself time. Work is just that, it is work. It is great to have friends at work most of my friends are friends from work, but, not everyone is a social butterfly. It doesn't mean you should feel bad about that. It makes the world a better place because we are all different. I wouldn't think you were rude at all, I would think you were just shy and I would be ok with that. I would definately always make a point to say hello to you and I would not have my feelings hurt if you just smiled or waved. Your facial expressions can tell alot to someone. Take care and just take one day at a time. Best wishes.

Answer 3

I personally would not think you are being rude, I work in a hospital as a security officer, so it is my duty to walk the hospital and check on all people in all departments, so I come into contact with all kinds of people. If your co-workers do think it is rude that YOU don't say hi to THEM, it is their ego that is the problem. They obviously think that they are so important that everyone in the workplace needs to acknowledge them. Being shy is a very normal way of acting for many people, and if you are happy with yourself and the people you are not shy with, then more power to you to live your life to the fullest extent of shyness!! However, if you are unhappy with yourself because of the shyness, then you should seek advice from those who know you best. For me, to overcome the shyness I was locked into, it took a really good friend literally taking me by the hand and dragging me out to places with a lot of crowds. It was worth every moment of the uncomfortable atmospheres for me, because I was unhappy with myself.
By reading your question, I sense that your smile is your way of waving, you describe your handshake as unnoticeable, but give no detail to your smile, meaning that it is normal to you. Smiling is, in my opinion a better way to say hello than a wave hello because smiles are contagious. Who knows, that smile may get you the promotion you have been waiting for. Embrace your shy personality and let it be who you are if you are comfortable. Don't let the world tell you who you are supposed to be, tell the world who you are, one smile at a time.

Answer 4

Well, if you don't talk at all, then its pretty obvious that your shy. However, that is nothing to make fun of you at all about. Personally, I think those types of people are the coolest ones. About half of my friends are like that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your little wave. I do the exact same thing except i wave my fingers side to side. Its surprising how many people actually notice that its a wave. oh, you might also want to add a smile to your wave. sometimes, it makes it cuter. xD

Answer 5

If you appear to be putting on some sort of an act, then they will most likely ridicule you behind your back. Otherwise, as long as you behave politely and don't do anything odd, they'll probably not really think of you much. I'm shy as well and I've never had anyone pick on me for it, but I also have a noticeable stammer and a bad habit of covering my face up with my hands if I'm nervous when I'm talking to someone, and I have definitely overheard people calling me 'weird' or imitating me for those quirks. I try my best not to do those things but for some reason it just happens in certain situations!

Answer 6

It should be unless you are giving off other vibes or unless they are just looking for someone to pick on. I would just voice it to them. Say, I am the most backward person, I am so shy and I know it causes me problems but I can't help it. By the way if you are cute, they will hold it against you too sometimes. all you can do is try to be more outgoing and maybe do something nice for them to let them know that you are friendly, just quiet. it really is up to them, we can't control other people, they are who and what they are and so are you. Don't worry about it too much. Most people are nice. Just do your j0ob and help when you can and be nice. I think you are doing fine. they may have a problem, not you. Ok!

Answer 7

No, from these observations from working with you, I would put a note on your desk and tell you that I'm the guy in the cubicle opposite you and to the left. Then I'd tell you that I'm pretty shy but not acknowledge that you were shy and say maybe we can get something to eat sometime. I seriously am shy too, but I'm trying real hard to initiate conversations. I don't make fun of people, period.

Answer 8

They would understand that you are shy and they would not take offence to you not verbalising a hello. A wave is friendly enough for work aqquantences anyway!! They're not your closest friends so you dont need to talk to them really... They wont talk about you behind your back, as you are doing nothing wrong, and they will realise you just shy and your not deliberatly being rude. I would not take offence to you if i was at your workplace, nor would i comment about it behind your back. Dont stress about it all, If you happy with being shy then don't feel you have to change so others will be happier... Good Luck!

Answer 9

She's possibly a sprint shy and insecure. She needs to declare hi, yet has an inner reflex that isn't particularly permit her. What if she does not get a reliable reception, or the different man or woman thinks that that is extraordinary? Then she has the backup plan: that she wasn't _exactly_ waving...

Answer 10

I was very shy and almost never had a conversation that some else didn't start. I started to overcome it by finding 1 person to start opening up to and this helped to me to gain confidence, The other person helped by telling others that I was shy, not stuck up. you are going to have to pick someone to start you open to ,. How about the girl you wave to , she appears to be friendly. But it comes down to you starting to pick who have a conversation with. I was so shy got red faced like a tomato, if someone talked to me, and you can start to overcome shyness by just pick somebody and open up. It really won't hurt , I promise. Be strong.