My kid is a bully?

Question

Let me first say that my 6 yr old has a bully for a father, and sees his dad behave inappropriately (flipping people off, physical fights with his girlfriend, lack of respect for authority and police). Of course this rubs off on my son, and my child is bossy, pushes kids, and just doesn't have very good social skills. I have him in therapy, and just won full custody from my ex so his time with dad will be limited, which will help my son.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to help him stop this behavior? I try to set a good example, and have tried everything from praise, to calling him a bully.

Answer 1

I like the above suggestions.

One thing if you can find a man he can emulate. Boys want to be appreciated by their fathers. You need another man to show him the way. Get him in group activities with male coaches, Find someone you trust from work or family to take him fishing. If the man shows he cares about him and wants to do fun things together the boy is more likely to adopt his way of dealing with the world than his father.

Answer 2

your child is at an age where he echoes what he sees. however, his psyche is still moldable and he can still be taught right from wrong. at this age children believe that everything that adults do is the right thing, since they are the ones that are looked up to by them. the key is to stop him in the act, when he is well aware of what he is doing. you should never resort to yelling or anger, because it is very likely that he will be focusing on how loud you are or how mad you look, instead of listening to WHAT you have to say. being smaller than you can also be intimidating. kneel down so that you are face-to-face with him, this way he'll feel that you're WITH him and not ABOVE him (does that make sense?) explain that what he is doing isn't nice and ask him if he'd like others to act that way towards him. show him another way to communicate with others if he's having a problem. maybe he only knows of one way to get what he wants: being a bully.
teach him that being nice has more advantages: you make friends, you get what you want, and you grow up to be a "big boy" (or whatever it is that encourages him to do what you say) Teach him the importance of "please" and "thank you".

it can get tedious at times, when you've told him to say thank you 2348203482 times, but in the end, it'll get the message across and he'll soon learn that being nice is the better way to go <3


p.s. never tell a child : you're so mean! or you're a bully!
because after so many times of being told this, the child will begin to believe it, feeling the need to fill out his role as a mean person or a bully. instead, encourage him when he does something nice. this will cause a desire to be praised and he'll try to avoid being talked to in a stern voice
good luck!

Answer 3

What parents can do to help their bullying child
It can be painful and difficult to accept that your child may be bullying other children. However, once you recognize the problem, you can help solve it by helping your child learn how his or her actions affect others. Being sensitive to others' feelings (empathy) is largely a learned skill that you can teach your child.

Take your child's actions seriously and let your child know that bullying will not be tolerated. Set up and follow through with negative consequences, such as losing privileges and not being allowed to see friends after school.
Involve your child's teacher, school administrators, and school counselor to help stop the bullying.
Talk to your child about the importance of understanding the feelings of others. Ask your child how he or she would feel as the target of bullying.
Supervise your child's activities. If your child is not already involved in sports or community activities, encourage him or her to hang out with children you know to be good role models.
Be a good role model yourself by not reacting to disappointments with verbal or physical aggression.
Praise your child for kind words or deeds.
If the behavior does not improve, seek help for your child from a psychiatrist, psychologist, or a licensed counselor.

Answer 4

You are doing the right thing by already having him in therapy. My middle daughter was like that and all i can suggest is to ignore him when he is in that behavior and pay more attention to him when he is be good, let him know "that type of behavior is not acceptable behavior anywhere and he will not make friends"
This may help a little, do some research on the net.
http://www.ama-assn.org/ama1/pub/upload/mm/45/hrsa_bullying.pdf

Answer 5

as a mother of 3 boys i have to look at this as if it where one of my boys doing this

i think you should have a meeting with him the Principal his teacher and let them know in front of them that he is a bully and if he picks on anyone at school the school is to call you so that you can punish him at home he needs to understand that YOU and the school will not tolerate this behavior at all and that there will always be a punishment for it

he has to know its wrong but seeing a grown-up do it makes it ok over time he will see that not all men act that way and with your consistency and the school backing you he will stop being a bully

Answer 6

ok talk 2 him 1 on 1 with just you and him tell him he cant bully others around or else he wont have any friends you should put a list on you fridge and hve stickers for everytime he does good put it on the chart and at the end of the month count how may stickers he had at do somthing specail with him if he had a good amount of stickers

Answer 7

Maybe you should work with the school on this one. If they are aware of the situation they may be able to offer some assistance or guidance as far as programs & the like.

When we were kids, if we were picking on other kids my Mum would make us go to their house & apologise to the kid AND their parents. The humiliation usually made us think twice before we reoffended!

Answer 8

Tell him ''You bully,Your trouble''.You do the crime you do thetime.He's going to regret this
P.S please dont smack or hit him

Answer 9

teach him !!!