For the first time in almost a year, I finally got asked out by someone. We've only been together a short time. But that's not the point.
I'm happy with him, but here's the problem. I'm still pretty scarred and edgy about relationships. I've been through a lot of relationship problems the last 2 years. To put it in a nutshell, I got my heart broken REALLY badly.
Im just scared that he's gonna break my heart like the rest of them did. Most girls my age brag about how great thier bfs are, how much they love them, ect. I dont like to do that because I feel it kinda jinxes my relationship. Im almost afraid to talk about him at all.
My point is, Im tired of being afraid to have feelings for him, let alone anyone. I know he cares for me but, for some stupid reason, I have this thought in my head that I'm gonna get hurt really badly again(I never brought up past relationships to him).
What can I do? I hate feeling like this. : (
2007-09-05 13:38:39 · 11 answers · asked by Angela 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be honest, go slow.
Your relationship with him is your business, and his.
That's it.
If you're looking for proof that you've "made it" by having a great boyfriend, you have much deeper problems.
Get to know him, don't announce your relationship to the "crowd".
There's nothing wrong with having "feelings" for him, (everyone has feelings), but if the goal is to brag about it with your group of friends, essentially, what your saying is, "I convinced a guy to like me so I could strut my stuff before all you and convince you to be in wonder and awe at my attractiveness".....or some such stupidity.
Think about it......how would you feel being a trophy to some guy? (And having him announce it to his friends)?
One of the reasons you may be worried, you past will come up, be honest while you still have time.
Luck
2007-09-05 13:42:36 · answer #1 · answered by spam_free_he_he 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be honest with him and let him know how you feel. Unfortunately life is about hurt and as painful as it is, the hurt that we experience only makes us stronger. I know a new relationship can be a little scary, but until we learn to deal with that hurt and move beyond it, then there is no relationship that you will be able to be successful in because the fear of failure will hinder your feelings. Give him a chance to try to make the relationship work and if it fails, take the lessons that you learned from the relationship and apply them to the next. Life is too short to spend your life in a bubble, sometimes it's okay to let people inside of the wall you built around you because if you don't, you will never learn how to let anyone in.
2007-09-05 20:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by chante n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im going through this still myself but its best to take things little by little. Dont rush into doing things that your friends are doing. Try telling him that you had experienced bad relationships in the past and you don't want to be hurt again in that way (you don't have to tell him what happened). Tell him how you feel if you feel like you're about to get hurt in the relationship. Most likely he should understand.
good luck :)
2007-09-05 20:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by gapimpette4sho 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him about your past experiences and how you feel and maybe he can tell you something to make you feel better. You shouldn't let past relationships get in the way of the future because you will make yourself miserable and think to yourself, yes I love him but the worst that could happen is that we don't work out and I am not going to die if that happens.
Good Luck!
2007-09-05 20:49:51 · answer #4 · answered by julia b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your fears. It might seem early to be talking so heavy but if you don't mention it now he may see your reluctance as a sign you don't want to be with him.
If you start communicating now, your relationship will go from strength to strength & you wont have as much fear of being hurt by him.
Trust yourself. You've learnt from past mistakes and this WILL be different. You've made a good choice and he WONT let you down.
Good luck.
2007-09-05 20:50:32 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it slow and easy. Don't open yourself up too quickly. It is a sad fact of life that break-ups are going to happen. It doesn't matter if he or you initiates the split. With that, just have fun with it. Don't take the relationship too seriously until you have been dating for at least 6 months.
2007-09-05 20:45:47 · answer #6 · answered by davester1970 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start by letting go of your past and moving on with your life everyone knows love hurts at times but we are strong and can get through it. Please do not let your past ruin things for you, you deserve to be happy but if you do not let go of the past you might never beable to be happy ! Wish you luck !
2007-09-05 20:50:01 · answer #7 · answered by southernlove25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep on honey, by the time your 35, your heart will be a rock.
2007-09-05 20:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are unsure, spend quality time and just forget about the "phobias". When the time comes in sharing feelings, just express your concerns.
2007-09-05 20:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it and let him know ur gunna want to take things pretty slow. Dont LET him screw u over. If he starts actin up, dump him!
2007-09-05 20:47:34 · answer #10 · answered by Abby Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋