Brak wants to know, "Are We Teaching Kids to Fear Men"?

Question

Yes this was an issue on CNN headline news today.
Some fathers are outraged by this.
It seems lots of mothers do not trust men on relations with children. I actually think this is discriminant against men. It makes us feel isolated and unfit to be a parent or aquainted with children.
The child sexual abuse rate is increasing and many people claim that men are the primary suspect of sexual abuse on minors. This is not true for all.
A lot of women are misjudging men for being pedophiles or sex offenders and especially men who look different(facial hair, long hair, etc.)
I bet many mothers would think I am one myself cuz I have long hair and I am single. That is not true either. I like children but not in any sexual way. And it's making it very tough on men like me. Someone commented on this topic on the news site and involved Hillary into the whole hatred of men.

In summary, Are we teaching kids to fear all men?
To fear 48% of the United States population?

Please elaborate for me some of your thoughts on this.

Answer 1

I think we as parents need to step back and look at what we are teaching our children. We need to teach them to fear any stranger, male or female, that approaches them. We also need to make sure they know what a stranger is. There are just as many female sex offenders as there are male, they just don't get the same amount of media attention. We need to teach our children about how to approach an adult for help if they need it, such as a teacher or police officer. We also need to teach them how to attract attention to themselves if someone is harassing them. Lastly we need to teach them how to get away if someone tried to abduct them.

Answer 2

First of all, I don't know where you received the little tidbit "The child sexual abuse rate is increasing and many people claim that men are the primary suspect of sexual abuse on minors. This is not true at all.".....Ok, while it's a sad fact, a majority of sex offenders are male, an overwhelming majority. If you don't believe me, you can double check at the U.S. department of Justice, CEOS. (That's Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section).

Also, just for your information, most sex offenders are not single and look perfectly normal. "A lot of women" are not misjudging men, a lot of women are being cautious. There's a difference. Any good parent isn't going to trust a stranger around their children. That's common sense, especially since statistics show its impossible to go on someones looks to determine whether they're good or bad.

And I would really like to know how exactly parents not trusting you around their kids makes life tough on you.

As for you're actual question "Are we teaching kids to fear men?" We are teaching kids to fear life. Everything is something to fear. As long as children have a good male figure in their life, and have no real reason to fear men (such as a victim of sexual abuse) there won't be a problem.

P.S. - I really don't like Hillary at all. I disagree with her politics and that she flips her views whenever she thinks its going to lose her vote however I have never seen any proof that Hillary hates men. In fact shes stayed with Bill Clinton, who is a pig if I've ever seen one, despite the fact he's cheated on her many times. Most feminist that I have talked to actually won't be voting for her because she chooses to associate herself with male politics.

Answer 3

I teach school, and we instruct the students that a home without a father in it is JUST AS GOOD as a home with a mother and a father. We don't want the children of broken homes to feel bad. We ignore, of course, that the children being raised by a single mother do worse in school and behave much more poorly, but by gosh, we teach the the politically correct thing all the darn time! FATHERS ARE NOT NEEDED! We are such nice and loving and understanding people. :o)

(Can you even IMAGINE the news story if we said the opposite? If a teacher said that a home with a FATHER and mother was better than one with just a mother?? What a stink THAT would be!)

Answer 4

It's not that mothers or kids fear men. It's that it would be irresponsible not to recognize that leaving your children alone with someone you're don't know well enough to trust.

I only trust a handful of very special people to be alone with my children.

I am all that stands between my kids and harm. It's my job to recognize any potential dangers and keep my kids out of harms way.

Your feelings of alienation are not my priority, my kids safety is. However, I think you're taking this whole issue far too personally. The FACT is that far more men sexually abuse kids than women. Women are more likely to emotionally or physically abuse, than sexually abuse. BUT, I wouldn't trust any relative stranger with my kids, male or female.

Answer 5

Well Brak, I notice the same thing.
Women are easier to relate to than men and it's becoming a bad habit to degrade men to not trusting with children.
A lot of moms in America are obsessed with Pedophilia and all the strange men they hear about they sometimes think any man could be just like Michael Jackson, Gary Glitter, Jack McClellan, John Couey, or John Mark Karr.
It is ruining society in today's world.
Making it so unfair for men who like children. Back before all this was an issue, women were okay with their children befriending grown up men who didn't seem like perverts. And they weren't. Things are so different today and it's sad that some men don't like the way it has become because they feel discriminated based on their gender.

It's a sad sad world. And I hate to anger you more about Hillary Clinton(I hate her too), but if she becomes president, all men will not be trusted with children.
We will probably get rid of Mall Santas and replace them with Mrs. Claus. ughhhh, that flaunts tradition!
Moms (& Dads too) in America need to gain back trust in anyone even if they are men. If only none of this pedophilia happened, we would not have this worry.

Just to cheer you up a bit, You aren't alone in this. Many guys feel the same way. Even I feel the same way. Even me, a woman, once was suspected as spying on a child. I was just watching some kids play in a pool and watching them have fun to my enjoyment. And I even had a little friendly chat with some of them. The parents complained about it to some of the supervisors at the pool. Can you believe they suspected me?

Answer 6

The majority of child molesters ARE male. But they are a very small percentage of the male population, so I don't think anyone but very immature people confuse the terms "molester" and "male."

The majority of people who murder with poison are female. I don't think there's any talk of making our children afraid of women.

That said, I was talking with my son and a few other guys recently, and was shocked to realize that he didn't know that women, at least a large percentage of the women I've spoken to, are afraid of men. They are afraid neither in the abstract, nor of specific men they know or meet at work and so on. But when a man we don't know approaches us, say, in a club, there are certain lines that he can cross--often with absolutely no ill intent--that simply cause us to be afraid.

It's very difficult to explain. It has to do with them feeling too aggressive, eyeing us too hungrily, moving too close, things like that. Are they dangerous just because they make us feel uncomfortable? Since we don't know, we darned sure better assume that they are! Until we know better, we fear their greater upper body strength, their larger doses of testyosterone, their possible anger, in short, the threat of them. It's not a judgement, it's a protective mechanism.

But many men seem unaware of how threatening they can feel to us. My son - who is thirty - was shocked when his sister and I agreed almost 100% on which of his approaches would frighten us. Because we never tell the guys that scare us that they do. We just get away from them.

Do our children pick up on it? Of course they do. But they must also pick up on the trust we have for many, many other men.

No, I do not think I would worry about you around kids because you have long hair and are single. But if you had 5 video game systems and had groups of 6 or 8 pre-teens over to your apartment every afternoon, I sure would. I would worry about a woman who did that too.
.

Answer 7

I think this is all a matter of opinion.

I teach my kids to fear all persons whom they don't know- man, woman, teenager, purple elephant, you get the picture. I also teach them that nodoby is to touch them in their bathing suit areas and if they do to tell mommy no matter what.

We've all heard the horror stories, the stranger offering candy, the rape vans and while yes, most of the offenders are white males, this does not mean that all white males should be feared just not trusted until known.

And it's not just men. There's the two teenage boys who abducted and tortured/beat to death a toddler from a shopping center in the 90's. And the woman (there's been a couple) who cut an eight month old fetus from it's mother's womb killing the mother. Only to be found less than 48 hours later and re-united with her father. Senseless crimes.

All in perspective. Trust no one until you know them quite well.

Answer 8

I have taught my kids that a stranger is a stranger regardless of sex or age. And as a woman we have to defend ourselves as well so maybe we are more afraid of men because generally they are the ones who attack women. And the fact that almost every woman I have ever met has been sexually violated (usually as a child) by a man. It may not be fair but sometimes it is self preservation.
I do not judge a person based on their looks, more so on the vibe I get from them. But I do not leave my kids around strangers man or woman.

Answer 9

Take away freedom of belief and you will loose your option to be an obnoxious troll. The mind police will eventually take away all your rights to speak out what you want. Look at that bloke who went to jail because he said racist comments on twitter. A world where you can't believe or say what you like will not be pleasant. And you want it. Think before you make up your mind, because you like to state your opinion and wind people up. And that may come to an end.

Answer 10

I don't think there is much home for women or anyone who would judge a whole group by their gender.
You counter this stereotyping by being extra courteous and helpful. Listen to women and look them in the eye. Don't make assumptions.