Question about past-abuse by parents?

Question

I have had sever mental and physical abuse by my parents when I was younger. Now I seem to have personality problems, depression, and an over all sense that I am alone and Im some kind of distaster. Im always depressed now, and im a mother and wife that cannot find happyness and I find myself going down hill and not being able to function normally.. I want to seek professional help for but I cannot afford to do this on my own. Could I hold my parents responsible for this and either sue them or ask that they pay for my professional help? What is your opinions?

Answer 1

I would take this to the law section, I don't know what to do in a situation like this. They do offer counciling at many churches that you would be able to attend that are free or inexpensive. Good Luck :)

Answer 2

Have you tried talking to your parents about this? Sometimes talking to the people that were the cause of the problem helps bring about a solution.

If you think you can't do that, try talking to your husband. He might be able to help, and at the very least he could be a shoulder to lean on, someone to vent to.

If you have a full-time job or are covered under your husband's insurance, look into their options and see if psychological care is covered under the plan you're on.

If it isn't, you can still get help. Grab a phone book or just get online and look up psychologists and family counselors in your area. You should be able to get a good idea of prices and sometimes they are willing to work with you and figure out a treatment plan that would be good for you.

Just remember that no matter what, you've got a whole life ahead of you and it sounds like things are getting better. I know it's hard to get over traumatizing events in the past but at least you can see that it's a problem and you want to get help for it - kudos to you for that!

As for suing them for treatment costs, I don't think that's an option. :\ Still, look into it. But if you don't have the money to pay for psychological help, you probably won't have the money to pay for lawyer's fees.

Good luck!

Answer 3

The first question you should ask is whether you have or should you even consider forgiving your parents.

I am not talking about the "Heaven or Hell" kind of forgiveness. True forgiveness that starts the healing process. That will save you a lot of money with shrinks because true completeness cannot be achieved if you are not able to move on. If you are still angry at them (as you have a right to) that means you have not forgiven. Forgiveness does not mean "forgive and forget", it means "Even if you are not sorry for what you did, I need to move on with my life. So, now it's in the past. Perhaps, we can start fresh and I can take control of my life."

Let go of the past, shake yourself free and start living so that you can be the wife and mother you were meant to be.

A lot cheaper than an expensive shrink.

Answer 4

This may be hard to read, but in truth, if you want to take responsibility for improving your life, don't depend on those who contributed to your misery to help you.

The abuse you suffered is difficult enough to deal with. If you have to wring money out of unwilling parents to help pay for recovery from injuries that they will in all likelihood deny, it will most likely just rekindle the feelings of resentment and rage over the past problems. The point of therapy is to liberate yourself from the past and improve your independent functioning. If you turn to your parents to pay for the treatment, you will be giving yourself and them a message that you remain dependent on them and that you are not really a free adult. That's not the way to recover.

If you do not have adequate health insurance, here are several possible solutions:

1. Consider going to a self-help, 12-step program such as Co-Dependents Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholics, or Al-Anon. Get a sponsor and start examining the steps.

2. Consider connecting with a co-counseling arrangement, where two people get together to trade off providing emotional support for one another.

3. Consider working part-time or overtime, and budget the money to pay for your therapy. Many therapists have a sliding fee scale, and you may be able to pay for the service working only a very few hours each week.

4. Consider finding a way to use your local mental health center to sign up for group therapy (instead of individual). This format is often much less expensive and more effective in producing needed relief and internal changes.

I hope this helps.

Answer 5

Depending on where in the world you live you should be able to find government funded councillor's who will sit and listen to you. See your GP for a recommendation to a free counselling service. Personally as a mother who did suffer physical abuse at the hands of my father I think as far as suing your parents it may just make you angrier if things don't end the way you want them to and you will feel even worse. I'm not telling you to forget what happened to you but you will feel better realising that that was the past and you have the opportunity to make a different and better future for your children. Learn from the mistakes of others. Remember you are you, not your parents. But definitely speak to someone.

Answer 6

Do you have a Comprehensive Care Center in your town? It is a center that basis payment on your income. There should be something of the sort in your area, although it may not go by that name. I suggest calling around, look in you yellow pages, a 'big' psychiatric center. If they are not the place they can probably direct you to a place that can suit your needs.

I have been in therapy for a few years shy of two decades. There is NOTHING to be ashamed about in asking for help. I don't know how 'responsible' your parents would feel but, you could try asking them. They might try to guilt you out of going though, considering that the therapy is because of them. If you do elect to tell them, I'd tread very lightly.

Find some help for yourself. Taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do. If you are falling apart then who's going to take care of the things that you are responsible for? Work? Child(ren)? School?

)o( Blessed Be!

Answer 7

I am 16. I was abused and abandoned by my mother. I feel very depressed all the time, I have severe self confidence issues and cannoot trust anyone.

I suggest talking to your parents. THey may realize what they did was wrong and want to help.

If not, just know that nothing they did to you was ur fault and you didnt deserve any of it.Be there for your husband and treat ur child like you were never treated.

Be strong.

If what they did to you really messed with you that badly, you may want to consider trying to see if they will pay for your help.

THey may finally want to say sorry for hurting you.



Legal action may be the last resort but talk to them first.


Best wishes and good luck

Answer 8

The most important thing, sweetie, is that you get some help first. You don't have to live with the side effects. There is freedom. I am so sorry this happened to you. I can't even begin to imagine being raised in such a hell. Yes, you can make them pay for everything. A lawyer can get you the money from your parents and get your help going. Good luck and again I am so sorry.

Answer 9

Many professionals have a sliding fee scale according to ability to pay. You can also check your local listings for public health facilities who charge little to no fee, again depending on your ability to pay.

I am a survivor of sexual and mental abuse. I battled severe depression for 10 years because of it. I also married (and subsequently divorced) an abuser (mental and emotional). That complicated the depression to the point of a suicide attempt days after my first child turned one. Speaking from experience it is extremely important that you get the help you need. There is a statute of limitations in most states on physical abuse. Check with you state for the exact limitation. More than likely however that time frame has already past.

Before you considering bringing a suit against your parents or asking them to be "responsible" for what there actions have caused you, ask yourself it it will do any good. If they acted so irresponsibly to perpetrate this abuse against you from the start, do you honestly think they will be any more responsible now to accept the consequences of their actions. If you need help with it financially, speak with other members of your family and see if they would be willing to help. As I stated above, check with your local listing for services that are available to those who are financially challenged (like me). If you are working, you might also speak with a manager or someone within your company about whether or not they offer a mental health support program that they company pays for.

There are probably more options out there than you realize, but you really need to get some help for yourself. If not for you, than do it for your child. They will grow up healthier and happier if they have a happy and healthy parent. They will also see that we all have "demons" that we deal with and that mom isn't afraid to ask for help that she needs.

I didn't finally find peace of mind and start feeling of value until I go the help I needed, forgave myself (for something I had no right to feel guilty over), and forgave my father. I love who I am, and can now say with confidence that at the times the thoughts of the abuse come to me, they do not devastate me any longer. I am at peace with it, and have a close relationship with my father. I am a strong person now, because I had to be, but I didn't come to this strength until I made peace with my past.

Bright Blessings to you. Feel free to get in touch with me if you have any questions you think I can help with.

Answer 10

Much of depression is caused by anger turned inwards. You need to, as an act of your will, forgive your parents. You will probably have to forgive them several times daily for a long time. If you do not forgive them, the anger and subsequent depression will eat away at your very soul.

Pray. Tell God that you forgive your parents as an act of your will and take it to the cross, continually if needed. Ask our Heavenly Father, In the name of Jesus, to heal you. Only He can!

Seek help. You may need meds for awhile. Also, get active. It will boost your mood. Seek counseling from a good, Christian counselor. Improve your diet...avoid junk, white sugar/flour/rice. Eat whole grains, veggies, fruits. Add pourable flax seed oil and fish oil to you diet. Avoid hormones and contaminated foods.

Your body, mind and spirit need treatment. You must treat all areas if you are to be well and joyful. Depression can be concquored. I am a survivor!

Answer 11

If you live in a relatively big city there should be several non profit counseling centers that you can go to at no charge. Call you county Mental Health Association and talk to them.