How do you like this poem?

Question

Disasterous Effect

Standing in crystal clear motion
blue as sky and yellow sun potion
keeps them moving along the walk
simply looking around for girls to talk

Not wanting to push the numbers fast
or else the chance of peace will not last
one in a thousand I move to advance
trying to see if fate shall give me this chance

Satisfaction as the digits burn in satellite
thinking that this day, paths will lead to delight
pride bursting to druglike designs in self
thinking to build it up with even more wealth

Thinking the day won, the initator smiles
not understanding the potential for wiles
waiting some days later for great feasts
while they all only know how to fear beasts

Emit waves to the sky for the payload
not know what waits is for the way-low
machine noises and silence are the reward
for those that get caught, they don't go forward

Its about a guy who is flirting with girls and can get the cell-numbers, but they either hang up or not answer.

Shut up, Mr. Jiff. I did your redheaded sister last night. She likes it up the butt.

Answer 1

its gay, your gay, **** you.

Answer 2

Not awful but you realize it doesn't have to rhyme right? Plus a lot of your phrasing doesn't make sense to the average person. I"m sure it does to you and a few others but the average person ain't gonna get it. I'm also wondering if the poem isn't about three or four different things. It seems to me that each verse pertains to a comepletely different situation. Which wouldn't be a bad thing but I don't see how they all connect. But I'm just a lowly human and therefore do not get creative genius that much. Kudos on the ability to actually write something.

Answer 3

It is pretty good.

Answer 4

it was good.