My mamaw and i were really close. We had a very special relationship. She passed away of lung cancer last december and i still can't get over it. Today i found some old phone calls saved on the computer. So being the curious person i am, i open one up and listen to it. who's voice to i hear? my mamaws. I immeadity start bawling. Do you have have any suggestions on coping with death, i having a really tough time with it. I want to move on but i cant. :'(
2007-09-05 10:37:29 · 7 answers · asked by נυѕт ѕмιℓє 5 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Do not rush saying good bye to your Mamaw. When you are ready and so tired of staying sad, tell her you have to let her go now and get on with your life. You will never forget her and you will love her always. But the simple fact of telling her goodbye will bring you peace.
My Mother died 9 years ago (I am an only daughter) and we were always best friends. She died in my house under Hospice care. It took me 14 months of crying every day to finally say Mama I have to say Good Bye now. I will love you always. Just that act brought me so much peace.
Since she died I have been putting together the family history along with coordinated photo albums. The interesting thing about a family history and going back 200 to 250 years shows you the big picture and we are just a piece of a family.
So as long as your faith is strong, you will know you will see her again.
God Bless and good Luck.
2007-09-05 12:12:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey Sport --
I won't try to lay any major heavy duty stuff on you here -- even though I have some of that in storage on this subject !!
Suffice to say that I have had ocassion to be "up close and personal with death" many times within my lifetime ! Spent some time in jungle combat and had numerous experiences with "the reaper" !! Babysat my Mom through major medicals for some six years until her death in 1994 and am in the process of doing the same with my soon to be 96 year old father at this writing !!
The one thing I can tell you here --- there is no "dealing with death" for there are no "deals" to be made ---- it comes and that is that !! What we "deal with" is the aftermath, the loss, and the emptiness left BY it !! And, the larger "footprint" of the person that is taken --- the larger the "gap" in our world in their passing !! And, not that I have any guru type knowledge about how it is for everyone --- for ME it is just a thing of time for the healing to happen --- it's like you're wounded and the rend in your life takes a good while to repair to the place where you're not wincing every time something touches you there (like this phone message from the past you're talking of) !!
We are FORCED by life to, at least eventually, accept the reality OF loss !! For NOT to do so -- is to be pinned by life to a closed loop that we can not progress beyond !!
Just a brief word here in closing -- you say "I want to move on -- but I can't" ---- So, let me put a thought on the table here for you that you might be able to get your head around to help see a different viewpoint ---- Your mamaw evidently loved you VERY much --- and, I'm sure that you meant a great deal TO her --- how do you think SHE would want her passing to be effecting your life ? --- do you think for one single second that she would not want you to be making the absolute best in life for yourself on every single day ? How would she feel about this ongoing pain that your carrying around because of HER passing ? Would she not want you to accept what has happened, have the superb memories and find your way on to brighter and better things ?
The absolute best way that you can honor your mamaw's memory and life -- is to get up AND move forward into making a life that reflects wholly and fully on what influences she was TO you !! By that, you will be giving meaning to her part in creating the person that not only you are -- but the person that you are becoming with every new day !!
I am sorry for your loss -- and pray that you find some comfort and encouragement somewhere within something I've said here !! Good Luck to You --- and you, are going to do just fine !!!
2007-09-05 11:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everybody deals with death in their own ways. This really is because everyone had a different relationship with that person, some closer, some not. I, in my own opinion, believe that it is like being broken up with or going through a divorce. You must move on with your life. You have to keep yourself occupied with more things during your day. In the early stages of this, you shouldn't spend too much time alone. That is when our minds have a tendency to think about those things. Remember the person, but move on. You will lose a piece of your life that you can't get back if you don't move on.
2007-09-05 10:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by semiproslacker 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the two are complicated of their very own techniques. gazing an in depth one die gradually and slowly is extremely painful for an prolonged time. that's greater painful for the guy and others to be interior the dying mattress or some terminal ailment without wish. that's devastating previous words. yet while it truly happens you're emotional exhausted and your grieving is already accomplished,so which you progression on. while an in depth one dies unexpectedly and unexpectedly that's a ask your self and catches us off shield and it could supply us so lots greater grief. it is totally tense on kinfolk who're based economically. yet you have a tendency to pass on after it sluggish so in that experience that's way less prolonged discomfort.
2016-10-10 00:45:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deals with death in many different ways. Just try to keep yourself busy and as time passes it will become more bearable. I;m sorry for your lost.
2007-09-05 10:56:12 · answer #5 · answered by physco 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
when enough time has passed you can listen again and smile and think of the good times. the same thing happened to me with my grandad. and it will get easier trust me.
2007-09-05 10:47:57 · answer #6 · answered by Phil Deese 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry about your loss.Heres a star.
2007-09-05 11:17:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋