Mother of 8yr old girl, when should I give her the talk...birds an bees?

Question

My daughter is 8 and I can't even begin to know how or when I should talk to her about sex and periods and all that stuff.

Answer 1

I'd definately start now. My daughter is only 10 and is already going through her menses and I am beyond grateful for all those little uncomfortable talks in the car about menstration, sex and the male/ female anatomy. When she started it wasn't something scary because she had been mentally prepared for it for several years. I also feel that talking about these things to her now will leave the avenues of communication open later when she is more opt to take the advice of friends over her parents. It's scary I know but I would much rather have been told all these things starting from a young age than to be scared to death to bring them up to my parents when I was older. It might save you from being a young grandmother.

Answer 2

Periods need to be a point of conversation now. In this age you never know how early she's going to start and you don't want her friends feeding her rumors. Plus, this way you'll more than likely have plenty of time to talk to her before the actual beginning of her period so that it will be something she's comfortable with and not stressing over. I know a couple of ladies who did not have the period talk early enough and when they started they sincerely believed they were dying. I would also suggest having a "woman's day" My mother did this with me when I started, it was the day I was allowed to get my ears pierced and we went out for dinner, so that my very first period was something I looked forward to. Conversation about "birds and bees" as you put it will probably come easier after you've crossed the "periods" obstacle. You probably need to gage your time to tell her by her level of curiosity and how she handled the whole period deal. If she's asking too many very uncomfortable questions, she might even already know, and she wants to get it from you. Or it might just be a signal that her mind is at a level of reasoning where she doesn't buy the "stork" story anymore. ;) But I think if you don't have any reason to tell her earlier, I'd go by 10-11 years old, just because you don't want the information coming to her from her friends.

Answer 3

You should tell her about periods now, the sex when she starts asking. My daughter is 8.5 and knows all about periods, I told her about the eggs dropping and so on but she has no clue they have to be fertilized. It is just a part of being a female is what I told her. She has always seen my pads and tampons and has even been in the bathroom with me (at stores) while I am on it. I have been wondering the same thing so the other day I asked her if kids talk about sex and if she wanted to know about it and she said no they don't and she did not want to know stuff yet. I told her whenever you have questions or hear things you need to talk to me about them before you believe any of it and she was fine with that. My daughter has actually started puberty the beginning stages at least (I was only 9 when I started my period) so I felt it was important to let her know.
There is a great book by "American Girl" called "The Care and Keeping of You" it is put in child terms and does not cover sex just the changes to your body. I would recommend getting her that and reading it with her.

Answer 4

We learned about the sex organs in 6th grade... and I graduated High School in 98' so that was some years ago now. Once we learned the organs, Im sure we all went home and learned about the birds and the bees. She is still a bit young, but before she goes into the 7th grade you are going to want to have that talk. Girls will be getting their periods starting around then and when one of her friends gets it, it will help her understand the changes in her friend and in her own body. Good luck.

Answer 5

I got the talk when I was about that age, and thats because I asked about it. You have to do it sooner or later, or shes just going to hear all the wrong stuff from other kids. There's no need to go into great detail right now. The basics will be plenty. I dont think the period talk is necessary quite yet, unless the women in your family start their periods that young.

Answer 6

I started my period just after my 9th birthday. I realize that is extremely early, but I was terrified and hid it for almost 3 days. It's a good idea, in my opinion, to talk to her about her period early. When my mother discovered that I had started my period, she made a big deal of it. That's when I remember her telling me about getting breasts, and in very simple terms, she explained hormones and body changes. As time went on, I began to ask questions, but she never skirted the subject.

I think that's the most important thing. If she asks, don't lie, and certainly, don't deny her answers. This will help her open up to you when it really counts later.

Answer 7

I have a 71/2 year old daughter and I would not give her the talk until she is around 11. Usually they are too young before then and cannot really understand. My daughter knows that adult women bleed and have to use things such as pads or tampons but she does not understand why or what it is all about. She has no desire to know and simply accepts that she will find out when she is old enough.

Answer 8

I would say 11 or 12 yrs. old, before they hit the teen years. Girls these days are having sex at an average of 14 yrs. of age, sad I know. I'd go to your local Barnes and Noble or library and check out the books there to help you along.

Answer 9

In all honesty, I'd slowly start giving her the talk now. Not everything all at once, but at least a little by little. In first grade I started learning it all from older kids on the street and on the bus. I wished I would've learned it all from my parents instead, because I would've gotten a lot more of the facts correct.

Answer 10

"The talk" isn't a one-time deal. It is an on going conversation that starts at a young age. You're six years late in getting the conversation started.
Ask you librarian for book suggestions and get going today.