Destination Wedding Woes...?

Question

We are having a destination wedding...meaning way out of town but still in the US. Question: Would it be bad ettiquette to register for gifts (and acutally expect ppl to bring gifts) since we are asking them to spend money traveling to our wedding?

Kimberly, Yoyu obviously missed the point. But thanks for INGNORANTLY answering anyway.

Answer 1

Jeez. A bit needless this controversy, huh. People usually bring gifts to weddings. It's not "bridezilla-ish" to believe that people will behave the way people usually behave in a social situation. You're fine. In fact, you're better than fine. You realize that it may be a financial burden for your friends to travel to your wedding, and you don't want to make them feel additionally burdened to buy a gift. Commendable.

That being said, I would go ahead and register. Lots of people will still buy gifts, including people who won't be attending. You might register for a number of less expensive items, so people who feel obligated to buy a gift will have options that won't strap their budget. You also might throw out the word (via your mom, your bridesmaids, etc) that you don't expect gifts at all, given the expense of the trip, and are thrilled that people are willing to join you on your special day.

Hope the wedding is great.

Answer 2

No there is nothing wrong with you registering for gifts, after all people that cannot make the wedding might still like to know what you would prefer for a gift. What people spend to travel to your wedding, even a destination wedding is not your concern. Along with the wedding they are also paying for and getting all the amenities of the "destination". If they get you a gift or not is and always was up to them.

Now for a further bit of ettiquette that might prove very helpful in this case. Wedding gifts, other than the money cards which should be brought to the wedding and put in the bride's bag( usually a white satin drawstring bag) should be sent to the home of the bride at some time prior to the wedding, at any time really from the time they actually recieve an invitation if they want. You could mention this old tradition as it might be better for people to gift you before the wedding so they do not have to lug packages to the destination of your wedding and you do not have to have all the stuff shipped back home.

Answer 3

Go ahead and register. This is just a wish list and by no means an imposition. Most people bring gifts to weddings anyway, so a registry is appropiate.

Just do not include the registry information on the invitation, as this is a breach of ettiquette by implying that guests must bring a gift.

I praise you for being considerate to your guests, good manners are never out of style.

Good luck

PS/ If you don't register anywhere, most guest will bring a monetary gift instead. Since it's a Destination wedding, it will be more convenient to your guests. Congratulations

Answer 4

I would register for gifts. I think people are going way overboard accusing others of being greedy.

If it's a wedding, then register for the gifts. Those that will be attending the destination wedding can either choose to bring the gift with them, or give it to you at your home when your return. Best wishes!

Answer 5

Guests are NOT required to buy gifts for a wedding, however, most do. Don't get mad at anyone answering properly, that's just not nice!
You can register if you like, obviously. People will bring gifts if they choose to do so.

Answer 6

You shouldn't expect anyone to get you a gift. But I would register. There will always be those who want to get you a gift whether or not they attend your wedding, regardless of location. I personally wouldn't feel right not giving a couple anything even if it is a destination wedding . But everyone is different. Let them decide for themselves. =)

Answer 7

I would register anyway, because people WILL be asking you what do you want as a gift, and it's good if you have the registry information handy. We had an out-of-town wedding, and some people simply mailed gifts to our house instead of bringing them to the wedding (we didn't "ask" for gifts, it was something people wanted to do on their own). We had a registry on Amazon.com, and gave this information to those who asked; some people made non-monetary contributions - a friend of ours who is an amateur photographer did photography for free. It all depends.

Answer 8

I wouldnt register for gifts at all. I dont like registers, they are like dictating to people what they have to get. For weddings I like to get someone something that they can never have enough of. I like to do the personal touch with my gifts, wrapping and writing in the card and delivering or taking to the wedding.
What I would do is not register but have a list of helpfull suggestions that people can give if they do wish to bring a gift. Some people will want to. I always do. Of course you will get others who will think they have spent enough just getting there. That is their perogative too.
Anyways leave the list with your mother and if anyone asks, she can tell them some items off your Wish list.
Good luck

Answer 9

We are having a DW overseas and are registering for gifts. We don't expect anything but know a lot of people we invite won't be able to make the long trip so they said they wanted to gift us with something.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
And that comment up there is highly offensive and tacky.

Answer 10

I would go ahead and register. Those not attending might like to get you a nice little congratulatory something. Those attending will hopefully have the foresight to send the gift to your home for you to receive after your honeymoon.

Having a registry doesn't equal screaming "I expect presents!!!" It's a nice way to cut down on the confusion for those who actually want to give gifts.