Boyfriend Trouble. Relationship Illiterate...?

Question

Ive been seriously dating this guy for 4 months now. For some reason we can't get along, but I dont wanna give up. He's faithful, supporting, gorgeous, great in bed, financially secure, great with my kids (im young...) and almost everything i think ive ever wanted. but theres just one thing lacking... its like we are never on the same page. i know how to take **** from someone,and to an extent i enjoy the bantering... but its like thats all there is. i want a little time where i feel loved... like deeply. am i asking for too much too soon? i really like him. maybe even love him. but im scared to tell him anything like that, even scared to tell him that i care for him, because i dont want to push him away. i think he might feel the same way, or really hate me... i dont know. im really confused, and i dont know whether to leave or stay.... my GOD ive never been so confused... and i feel like im causing it for myself... i just dont know how to clarify...

Answer 1

You love him, plain and simple. I can't blame you, from that great description, he sounds awesome. I understand how upsetting it feels, you want to be with this guy, your mind is set. He's even met your kids, spent time with them. Too bad he's just not there with you yet.

A man in a relationship is a fickle thing. After five dates and sex, we will consider the man we are seeing our boyfriend. After ten dates, the man may not even know our phone number. It's Mars and Venus all over again. Women in relationships want love and affection, to be needed and wanted. We want that love that takes your breath away, and if we don't have that, we feel like we settled, that it's just not good enough and he obviously needs to change. Guys just need more time. They get over the need to be independent and open up, it just takes longer. And yeah, that does suck, but when you push too much, you could just push him away. Especially since you have children, I know you want to show them what love is, but you still have to be patient with this guy for things to progress. Guys are just slow readers.

Take a deep breath and remember nothing wagered means nothing gained. Good luck.

Answer 2

For one, you put to much emphasises right at the frist on shallow things lmao! The only thing there that mattered was faithful and supporting, of course with the constant bantering I don't see the support to much really being there, which means the only thing you have for this relationship is that he is faithful..... and you wonder why this relationships so hard? Realize that the whole gorgeous, great in bed, financially secure are pretty mute points. I mean the financial thing does have its place, at least he isn't lazy, but the gorgeous and great in bed stuff.... thats your perception, commmon miscomception to.... but absolutly unimportant towards making a deep, meaningful relationship. That comes down to how well you relate, talk, share, care, emphasise, show compassion, passion, understanding, so on and so forth, with out that you really don't have much love, and you don't have much friendship, which is proubly what this relationship is missing. I see all the classic elements for a classic relationship that well eventual end in a classical way, unless you both start getting on the same page. Just understand, you might found out, that, that can't happen, that you guys see to different this world, and really all your trying to do is love a stranger. Don't feel bad thou, THIS IS WHY we have such a high divorce rate, to many people, in your same situation, figure all the relationship needs is time, marrige and kiddos and everything well work out.... muahahha LMAO!!!! 75% divorce rate.... be smart, friends can make great lovers, but as you'll hopfully not find out, lovers make horriable friends..... prove me wrong thou, get to talking to him, get to relating to him, get to doing something more then argueing and screwing..... RELATE!