I suggested that it'll be another man and he declined that offer. Will this really work?
2007-09-05 08:03:47 · 78 answers · asked by JuDyLicious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no bring more women
2007-09-05 08:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 7⤋
I suggest counseling - Have you two discussed a threesome before the "spicing up" came in question? If yes, then maybe it is something the two of you have been wanting to try.. If not, then this is not going to spice up the relationship, but only create more problems. I have been in a threesome - sometimes, I am the guest and other times, I have invited someone else to share in my relationship. The times I have been a guest have been good and bad. I have had women who have come to me and said "My b-friend or Husband really want to try a threesome." I've talked to the women, explained it is all sexual, then agreed then ending up getting jeoulous. There has also been times, I have been the guest, and had no problems at all... it has been great because the couple knew the what to expect and had a sound and solid relationship before exploring. As fas as inviting someone else into the relationship, to me it is only sex... the other person involved or "guest" will go home and me and my man will enjoy ourselves. It has brought us closer together to share in something so intimate and private. BUT you have to realize if there are ANY jeolous tendencies in this relationship, then a threesome it NOT for you all. If he becomes jeolous of other men-- do not involve another man! AND do not pick a man who you and your man is involved with on a daily basis.... such as a best friend, etc... and always practice safe sex..... I suggest you and your man really and truly explore this by talking about every aspect that may or may not happen.. how you will feel,,, when it will happen, how it will happen, who it would happen with, set boundaries for touching and kissing, etc... don't let any part go without discussion. Good Luck.
2007-09-05 08:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by MurphysGirl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's not willing to accept your idea of a three-way, probably not. For a lot of people, the two-girls-one-guy threesome just ends in dissapointment because generally, someone gets ignored for the most part. If he's really trying to spice up your sex life, offer some other suggestions, such as role-playing, different positions(trust me, you haven't tried them all--there are tons of books that surpass the kama sutra), or try having sex in different places.
A threesome is not a recommended course for spicing up a relationship, anyway because it brings someone new into your intimate space, and although you may be completely comfortable with that person while clothed, it completely changes the dynamic when you're sexually involved.
2007-09-05 08:14:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It will probably mean the end of your relationship. You don't seem to want to do this and he wants you only with another woman. Some fantasies are best left as fantasies. If you think you can take watching him touch another woman then do what you think is best. It seems that he would have a problem with another man touching you. This has to be something the two (or three) of you want. Otherwise, someone will lose respect for the other, someones feelings will be hurt and this doesn't even take into consideration the third person. I wouldn't do a three way with someone I am involved with, but that is just me. Ultimately, it's your decision.
2007-09-05 08:13:46 · answer #4 · answered by Patrick 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes it can work, but if you don't want to do that, then don't! Bringing a third person into the picture, even if it is for a night can raise a lot of questions about what he wants from you. So I say do it if you really want to, don't do it for him, because if you do it for him you will regret it. Also, I've done it with two guys, it's absolutely AMAZING, so if he wants two girls, you should suggest that you should be given the same thing in return, but two guys! Equality is what makes the relationship stronger!
2007-09-05 08:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by Om... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her's the thing about threesomes:if you love him, dont do it. They seem like a really good idea but seeing your man with another woman brings up a lot of unpleasant feelings that wont go away. And if you really want to do it with another man, tell him he can only have 2 girls if you can have 2 guys. Thats only fair. But be prepared! Threesomes generally cause more problems than they solve.
2007-09-05 08:10:42 · answer #6 · answered by Sara n 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No. While many men, and maybe even women, fantasize about this nothing good can from it. Controlling your sexuality is imperative to developing trust and assurance in a relationship. If you have sex with another person four things will happen. A.) You will be hurt when he makes it with the other woman B.) It will result in emotional baggage for your relationship. C.) The bar will always be raised to satisfy. D.) Your relationship with him will end.
It is far better to focus on romancing each other and maintaining boundaries. Hold your ground.
2007-09-05 08:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by Brokenfamiliesbrokenhomes 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Can it spice it up? Yes if you both share a voyeuristic fantasy where it is a turn-on to see your partner having sex with someone else. In my experience it greatly increases our sex life for quite awhile as we relive the experience over and over.
But, it has to work both ways. Swinging (and yes a threesome between a couple and someone else is technically swinging) is the great relationship equalizer. If the relationship isn't on equal terms to begin with it either will be soon or it will cause stress in it.
Basically, if he expects to get his he has to give you the ability to get yours. It doesn't mean you will, but the opportunity has to be there. If it's not than you are going to feel left out and resentful of him.
My wife and I have known several couples who enter the swinging lifestyle only wanting to play with other women and not other couples or single men, mostly because the husband has jealousy issues and doesn't want his wife having sex with another man. But of course he's okay with himself having sex with another woman. These couples either evolve into "full swap" couples or they eventually disappear from the lifestyle as the inequality starts to generate stress between them as the wife starts to feel cheated out of the experience her husband is having.
My advice, if it won't work both ways, it doesn't work either way. Period.
For some more information from those in the know about these things, check-out The Swingers Board Forums. I've found lots of good, objective information there myself over the years.
2007-09-05 13:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldnt do it! I have had a friend that did that with his wife of 8 years they had 2 kids and shortly after he wanted a divorce. He told me it wasnt the same having sex with her anymore there was no more excitement for him he wanted to have a 3some everytime they had sex. He even told me not to ever have a 3some with someone you love because it will most def ruin your relationship! and that was coming for a guy. So if I was in your shoes I wouldnt. If he wants to add some spice role play, get some toys, watch porn, there are plenty of these you can do to spice it up besides adding another girl!
2007-09-05 08:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by amanda h 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't do it!!! It will only ruin your relationship and give him the opportunity to screw some other female with your permission while you watch the whole thing unfold. You're better than that! If he respected you and what you two share together, he never would've asked you to do such a thing. If you're not enough woman for him then let him walk, but hopefully he'll come to his senses and realize that there are several sex stores that the two of you can visit if he REALLY wanted to spice things up.
2007-09-05 08:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by wrtrchk 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
No its not going to work why would he want to do that if he loves you for you.. anyways there are a lot of things out there you can use.. you don't need another body to spice up your relationship
2007-09-05 08:09:16 · answer #11 · answered by R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋