My husband just left for a year to go to iraq and I cant get pregnant. We have been trying since last november. I am 29 years old and all my friends around us are either pregant with their first child or already have kids. They are so happy together and i get so depressed ( not saying im not happy for them) when i see them all together happy and secure. i am all alone. I dont know what to do??
2007-09-05 07:30:58 · 39 answers · asked by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Get involved with other people and stay busy while your husband is gone. Offer to babysit your friend's kids. Believe me, after they throw up on you a few times you will see that they aren't ALWAYS going to be happy.
The previous answerer hit the nail on the head. Get involved in church. Learn to pray if you haven't done so very much before. Be around people, not at home on the computer or watching TV.
Once your husband is home, perhaps you should both be tested by a fertility specialist, so that you can operate from the perspective of what the facts are, rather than what your emotional fears are. In the meantime, stay busy and be around people regularly. Be very intentional about this.
2007-09-05 07:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by lmnop 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Stay strong and hopeful. I know that's easier said than done. Life gets lonely and it's definitely not always fair. I have been down a lot this year, and have suffered from depression most of my life. I'm on meds but even sometimes those don't work. I find the only thing that helps is when I find something to focus on, something that gives me purpose. Goal setting works well for me. Hope is what really gets me thru the hardest parts, hope that someday things will get better, hope that there's a bigger picture that I just can't see right now, a picture with a happier me. I know that it seems like you're all alone, but you're not, more and more people are diagnosed with depression everyday, and even though we don't need Dr's to tell us we're sad...sometimes they can help us get to a better place in life where things seem more manageable.
2007-09-05 07:47:17 · answer #2 · answered by happydayz_hereforgood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the person above. Get some support from Iraq family groups, church and/or community organizations. Having children is wonderful but having them with your husband with you will be worth waiting for. Don't worry about your age. I had kids in my 30s and it was all worth the long wait. Yeah some of my friends kids are all older than mine... some are old enough to babysit mine, so there's a bonus. Try and stay strong. The more you get out and socialize, the faster the year will fly by.
2007-09-05 07:37:39 · answer #3 · answered by Signilda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything happens for a reason. I understand your dilemna, I do. Been there. There will come a time, when it is 'right.' Just try to be patient. Look forward to your husband coming home, and starting a family when you both are ready. I'm sure it will happen, just try to get your mind on other things. Fretting now won't accomplish anything, and will only produce a lot of anxiety for you. Know that (if your husband wants to start a family as well) that you have something to look forward to when he comes home. I do empathize with you, but be patient. I wish you both the very best, and appreciate your husband's service to our country.
2007-09-05 07:44:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel about the pregnancy thing. My hubby and I have been ttc for a long time now, and no luck. Our best friend's just welcomed their second baby into the world recently. My other best friend has a kid. And, it seems like everywhere I go, there is no one who understands what my husband and I are going through. It's not fair-- it seems like the people who desperately want children the most can't get pregnant.
I am so sorry about your husband having to go to war. That can't help the situation; I have a friend who was in that situation too, only her hubby was on a top secret mission and she didn't know where he was for months. Have you tried looking for support groups in your area? Thousands and thousands of women are feeling exactly like you are; alone and sad.
I found this really good website for you: http://www.lovingyou.com/content/groups/military/
Check it out, it might be helpful to you.
Some other suggestions: you can always seek out a therapist to talk to. For some reason therapists get a bad rep because people think you have to be a nut to see one, but that is simply untrue. They can help you deal with your feelings and keep yourself in check. Also, try take B-complex vitamins. They naturally help you to boost your mood while providing you with excellent prenatal vitamins that your body needs. I do this and can tell that it definitely helps.
I know I just wrote you a novel, but I honestly and truly feel for you, sweetie. I hope that things look up. I pray every night for our troops (my brother in law is one of them, been gone since January), and women who have trouble conceiving. I understand how that feels.
Be well, my dear. If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a message.
2007-09-05 07:43:46 · answer #5 · answered by Kavasa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always try to look at the bright side. If you look hard enough, you can always find one. Maybe it would be easier and even more fun to go thru a pregnancy with your husband here with you. A year goes fast, you probably have experienced that before. Just keep busy, think positive and know that better days are coming for you both. Be proud of that husband of yours for his sacrifice of being over in Iraq....we are.
2007-09-05 07:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by gianinni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love your husband and he loves you. If you have not been able to get pregnant then maybe it's just not the right time. Be patient and know that soon the two of you will be together again. Focus on that. Everything has a time and a place. Hang in ther sweety. It will all work out eventually.
2007-09-05 07:38:20 · answer #7 · answered by uuummk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks Yu ar 29 and no child? Wow
um all i would say is iraq is not the answer
the men there will treat you like ****
come to the usa and i will take care of a pregnant woman
in my home
and we wont sell the baby we will raise it ok sally???
and your husband wil come home when the times is rite
im sorry he left you. that would suck
peace.,
2007-09-05 07:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by daenarys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a couple of ways to help. I recommend that you go to a female Obgyn. Get her advice and professional opinion. You could then try artificial incemination. Another option is to call a lawyer and get some information about adoptions. My friend and her husband couldn't get pregnant either. They adopted a brand new baby and a couple years later she got pregnant. She thinks it was because her hormones lined up when her motherly instincts kicked in with the adopted one.
2007-09-05 07:43:10 · answer #9 · answered by mirandarosen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything happens for a reason... My best friend's husband's a marine. She deff didnt want to get pregnant right before he left. I know you both want a baby, but him being there with you while your pregnant and during the begining of the babies life is more important, wait till he's home ( well you have to ) and it will all work out. Stress, doesnt help BTW
2007-09-05 09:50:22 · answer #10 · answered by Lyndsey R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋