How do I raise a strong daughter?

Question

I don't want my daughter to be a scared woman. Meaning, I don't want her to be afraid of spiders. I want her to be able to punch a man in his mouth if he ever lays hands on her. I want her to expect a certain level of treatment from men in her life. I don;t want her in the kitchen while the men are outside discussing "important stuff." But she has a mother who won't take out the trash, is scared of everything manmade. How do I counter that influence?

Answer 1

Thank god someone is trying to raise something other than a princess these days. Jeez....

First of all, expose her to things. Make her take out trash, rake leaves, do yardwork, go fishing, etc. Some people fear things out of lack of exposure. Another reason is because women are taught that helplessness is part of being feminine, and therefore attractive. I can't rebuild an engine, but I knew how to check oil and tire pressure before I knew how to drive. No one should assume that if they cannot do something, that someone else will be there to do it for them. That won't always be the case.

I grew into that kind of woman the best way - by seeing other women make mistakes. I learned from their experiences instead of repeating them. One thing you really learn as you get older is that you teach people how to treat you. Also, no one will respect someone that doesn't respect themself enough to speak up and stand by what they say. A child has to have a self-awareness instilled in them from early on or they'll accept what they're handed instead of striving for what they deserve.

Answer 2

Here is some "simple" do's and don'ts....

[Do's]:
1) Teach her to solve problems.
2) Teach her perfection is a myth.
3) Teach her to ask for what she wants.
4) Teach her to fight.
5) Teach her Mom and Dad are equals.

[Don'ts]:
1) Don't overprotect her.
2) Don't reward helpless.
3) Don't rescue her.
4) Don't teach her to hide anger.
5) Don't teach her being a girl is bad.

You are the male teacher in your daughter's life. She gets her idea of life from you. Good rule of thumb: Don't rescue your daughter from any situation where you would not rescue your son.

Raising a daughter to become a strong and happy woman is easier when Dad has the help of some experts.

"Girls! Helping Your Little Girl Become an Extraordinary Woman"
by William & Kathryn Beausay

Behind every exceptional daughter is an enthusiastic parent crazy about his or her little girl.

This book will teach you how to be your daughter's mentor, cheerleader, and her biggest supporter. You can help her reach her real potential as you teach her to organize her personal life, influence people through personal and public leadership, learn disciplined habits and positive attitudes, master skills that build confidence and self-worth, build a strong spiritual foundation, and make decisions.

Answer 3

I had a dad like you and a mom like hers.

My dad lived what he wanted me to learn. I loved my dad enough to pay attention to everything he did. If your daughter loves and respects you, she will want to be like you, especially if she sees you are loved and respected by others. What you respect, she will respect. How you respond to situations, that's how she will respond. What you say, she'll say. The father-daughter bond is so special. Give her advice and guidance, but the real learning comes from what she sees you do. I spent most my childhood being raised by my mother because dad was at work. He made sure to make a connection though and it worked. Be her hero when she's little and she'll look to you for guidance the rest of her life.

Answer 4

First of all you will need to taech her who to trust & who don't & let her have confidence on her self.. To a pint it is normal since she is a girl but as se girl teach her the difference of being a lady she will need to have confidence on her so she can be someone in life.. To be a wife but not a maid.. to be a good wife in bed but not to be obligated.. to learn to be a good mom & always be there for her kids.. If she becomes a profesionist to always suceed in her goals & look up for others around her & teach her to never feel less than anyone else..encourage her t think possitive & she will always suceed .,..Good Luck & Best Wishes :)

Answer 5

you're really smart to be concerned about this. i consider myself a fairly strong girl---im very athletic, very fit, brave, stand up for myself, and i can hold my own against most guys and if they're bigger than me i know where to 'kick em where it counts'. I'd say that the best thing that you can do for her is not try to change her. that sounds strange probably, but i think my mom kind of had the opposite problem. my older sister was a sweet, timid girly girl and i grew up as one of the biggest tom-boys ever. i'd be out there playing soldiers in teh dirt with all the boys, i'd spit and wear boxers to bed, and i wanted to grow up to be just like my daddy. im not sure how my mom felt about this (shes never told me actually...she jokes around but says she loved my spunk) but she was probably worried about my future as a young woman! well by the time i was around 9 i began to grow out of it and i developed into a young lady. She never pushed me to be more of a girly girl, and i think if she had i wouldve been more reluctant to change. i think that to make your daughter strong, show her the strenght of a woman. some people think that because men are bigger physically, they are stronger. not true. sure, a guy can pick up a boulder, but can he hold a household together? can he schedule carpools and plan meals and keep the house in order or carefully handle childrens' emotions and feelings, all while staying organized and keeping time to themselves? this may seem like monotonous work, but it takes much more work and strength than we think. i think the world of my mom and consider one of the strongest people i know. best of all, don't doubt that she will be strong. show her by example, dont try to teach her, becaues that willl imply that you think that she isn't strong on her own. best of luck.

Answer 6

When it comes to dating, do what we did. Tell he she cannot go out and date unless she can knock you down. As far as spiders go, I'm afraid of spiders too. And water ,and heights.