Please try to understand the problem before giving your answer.........I have met a great guy that cares greatly for me and loves my kids like his own. We have talked about getting married and having a family and all the things a serious couple talks about. The problem is, is that I am a very devoted catholic and he is a very confused agnostic. I have already made it clear that I am going to raise my children catholic and that I don't want to be with someone that is going to contradict everything they have been taught. He is very arrigant at this point about what he believes or doesn't believe, and has a very twisted way of thinking when it comes to religion. He has how ever agreed to joining R.C.I.A to learn more about the catholic church. My question is, do I stay with him and hope for the best? I'm not in this to force him to become something he doesn't want to become. Or do plant a seed, hope that it sticks and move on with my live? I've already been married to a lukewarm catholic!
2007-09-05 06:14:42 · 20 answers · asked by sisy_girl56 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I have not asked him to change the way he believes! I have how ever asked him to open his mind to what I believe in. Also, we have talked about having kids of our own and thats where the problem comes in. He believes that both parents should be the same religion, but only for the sake of the kids.
2007-09-05 06:29:52 · update #1
What ever Father K says I second. He is the expert in this field.
2007-09-05 06:20:13 · answer #1 · answered by ~Heathen Princess~ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am not feeling confident about your situation. It seems to me, you are throwing a little too much caution to the wind in the hopes that it will all somehow work out for the best. . . BIG mistake.
I am not a fan a "mixed" marriages. A normal marriage is difficult enough without tossing in the added difficultly of religious differences.
You two have some serious issues to work out BEFORE you even consider marriage.
Your Faith has to come first. Regardless of what your partner feels about it, you're Catholic and you're going to raise your children Catholic he is going to be - at the very least - neutral.
He does not have to embrace Catholicism, but he will have to make his peace with the fact you are Catholic and, as a Catholic parent should, raise the children Catholic.
Planting the seeds of faith in him is exactly what you want to do, but don't make the mistake of assuming those seeds will grow.
Also, since you have already been married (in the Catholic Church I presume) once already, how is this alleged second marriage reconcile with your being a "devout" Catholic. A devout Catholic knows they can only be married once, unless the previous marriage was annulled.
2007-09-08 00:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by Daver 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
*Is Catholic and is very Catholic*
I think that you have already answered your own question yet do not know it.
You wrote "" I've already been married to a lukewarm catholic""
You are obviously wanting to marry a strong Catholic. That is not what this man is. It is not possible to make him into a strong Catholic unless that is what he wishes. Thus I cannot suggest getting married to him, if you wish to marry a strong Catholic. Perhaps in the future he will become Catholic and a strong one, but if you wish to marry him, you must do so knowing that he might never become Catholic let alone a strong one. That is not fair to him, you will always be holding it over his head.
If you need any books for him, let me know.
Just checking -- your annulment is finalized correct?
2007-09-05 17:47:21 · answer #3 · answered by Liet Kynes 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Going to RCIA is a great idea. It will help him sort out what he believes and get rid of all that "confusion" you speak of.
Look, you and I know that Catholicism is true. (For the non-Catholics out there, that doesn't mean that there's NO truth in any other religion -- of course they have truth, too!) If your fella is committed to finding out what is true about God and what he can believe in, he's going to find truth in Catholicism.
I would continue on in faith that the Holy Spirit will lead him to truth. There is still a possibility that the relationship might not work out, but if he can find truth in God, it's still a winning situation.
2007-09-05 07:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by sparki777 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mixed marriages can be difficult, so be prepared for difficult times ahead. Mixed marriages (by that I mean Catholic and non-Catholic) are not suggested, but they are allowed.
At least he is going to RCIA. That is good. Pray, and be a good example of a Catholic to him. Remember the story of St. Augustine's mother who prayed all her life that Augustine would convert, and Augustine's own words, "late have I come to love thee."
Oh, were you married before? If so, you must be granted a decree of nullity or you cannot get married.
For more advice, go to www catholic com and email them. They will give you great advice
2007-09-05 06:21:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
pray about it. if he is arrogant now, just imagine how impossible his attitude could get with a half effort at rcia.
planting a seed is a wonderful idea but if you able to consider moving on that might just be the ticket. If he sticks with it and proves your invested time was not in vain you can always pick things up.
pray,pray,pray as the Virgin Mary would say
2007-09-05 06:25:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you can work it out. Conversations and compromise are a beautiful thing.
But how, exactly, are you going to get married again in the Catholic church?
2007-09-05 06:23:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not only a Pastor but a trained, but not certified marriage counselor. What you have described is a recipie for disaster.
The Bible says don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
This is referring to the marriage relationship.
2 Corinthians 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
This is one area where Roman Catholics and Bible believing Christians agree.
Pastor Art
2007-09-05 06:45:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not a Catholic, but here's my advice: NEVER go into a relationship expecting the other person to change. If you do, heartbreak is guaranteed to occur.
2007-09-05 06:23:55 · answer #9 · answered by Suzanne: YPA 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stick with until you see how serious he is about learning to come to a middle ground with you. If you love him then try to make it work. But don't ever sacrifice your beliefs for someone else. they don't really love you if they ask that of you. I mean its not like your asking him to change his beliefs just that you want your children to know God.
2007-09-05 06:23:40 · answer #10 · answered by Becky 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he's joined RCIA, give him some time, see how things go, but don't leap forward just yet. See if his arrogance mellows and see if he becomes less of a religious bigot. But don't rush ahead, either.
2007-09-05 06:32:21 · answer #11 · answered by Hoosier Daddy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋