We have been off and on again for 7 years. This time we (or I thought) had decided to stop going back and fortha nd just be together.
He brought up ideas of getting married one day, having kids, and said he would like to buy a ring.
Then last night he told me he does not know what he wants, and is scared if we break up, that he will realize later that he made a mistake.
What should I do?
Why is he doing this to me?
2007-09-05 05:16:17 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why is he doing this to you is a question that is a sign of unsurity in his life about his realtionship towards you.
The unsurity is showing him so many conclusions of what MIGHT happen, the fact is you can never possibly know the future, regardless.
You need to show him that there's NOTHING to be unsure about. Tell him to stop droning on what might happen in this realtionship, its ridiculous and leads to untrustworthy and uncommitmented coupleships.
He isn't doing it purposely, he's just very worried about the future so much he's spontauenously thinking thoughts and thinking that the conclusions might come true.
2007-09-05 08:42:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we fall in love with people who we are not meant to be with forever and it is hard to let go of someone you love. He needs to make a decision and run with it. Don't give him an ultimatum, but just tell him how you feel and advise what you want out of the relationship. Make a personal vow to yourself that if things don't change by a certain point, that you will try to move on. That way you are giving him one more chance at a happy life with you, and giving yourself the opportunity to start breaking away from him and looking after No.1.
2007-09-05 12:26:17 · answer #2 · answered by katgavcam1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you can hold his hand through all this soul-searching but at some point, you're going to have to let go of his hand and go off in search of someone who really IS serious about having a future together.
You're wasting your time if you don't have a timetable. You could spend another 7 years going nowhere. People don't have to get married and have families, you know. They can just talk about it for a long, long time and enjoy rehashing that topic as much as they want.
He's doing this to you because you let him.
2007-09-05 12:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you just hate that stupid time consuming excuse they use all the time! :-)
My boyfriend and i just broke up three weeks ago due to that stupid line of "oh i don't know what i want.. I'm not sure" crap.. They do know what they want and they know that the only way we'll stay that long is for them to play victim or innocent so that we'll feel sorry for them; therefore wasting our life till they figure out something they already know.. I broke off with him because people know what they want majority of the time and when they are not sure how you'll react then they say the stupid crap. Honey my advice to you is to decide for yourself, i can't tell you to break up with him because i don't know your relationship well enough but i do know that even 6 yrs old know what they want and a guy only say things to stall time till they're sure that there's no one else better than you then they'll settle..
So you decide but please make the right decision.
Good luck!
2007-09-05 12:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by brenda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesnt know what he wants after 7 years the he gots to go. Boot his @ss out the door. It will get rid of alot of pain which you can over come because thats what a strong woman does. Dont let him play games with you, thats all he is doing.
2007-09-05 13:23:49 · answer #5 · answered by Elly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him and don't look back. Quit wasting your time with a guy that does not know what he wants. If he does not know now, he will never know. You can't waste your life waiting for him to make up his mind. There are plenty of good guys out there that know what they want. Hopefully, you will free yourself from this relationship and find one of them.
2007-09-05 12:23:27 · answer #6 · answered by noelbutterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is undecided, and he needs to either pee or get off the pot.
If you have had a rocky relationship, it's not going to magically change.
You BOTH have to work at change... that's just the way it goes.
take care
2007-09-05 12:22:15 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a jerk! you can do better. he's putting you on an emotional rollercoaster. i just got out of one of those. good luck!
2007-09-05 12:22:53 · answer #8 · answered by sallyanne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just leave him.............
too do what he wants because maybe he doesn't want to rush things with you
or just talk to him what is going on in his head and what he is feeling.
2007-09-05 12:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by *[Girl]* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋