Any help on how to stop serious temper tantrums?

Answer 1

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Baby Temper Tantrums
4 ways to get your child to cooperate
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By Heather Johnson Durocher
Getting your baby into his car seat (or out of his clothes) used to be easy, but now he cries and flails. What gives?

By around 6 months, he may no longer cry just in response to needing something. He's now able to express what he wants, which means he might cry or arch his back when he's angry. Getting your baby to snap out of it can be tricky — he's no longer as easily amused by your distractions. To help him chill:

Show some empathy. Try something like "I know, you don't want your diaper changed." He won't understand the words, but he'll understand the tone of your voice and actions.

Try a new kind of distraction. If jingling keys and making funny faces aren't cutting it, a song can soothe, as can a little back rub or a change of scenery.

Keep calm. Sometimes babies throw tantrums because they're overstimulated, so taking a break from all your make-the-baby-smile tricks might actually help.

Stay a step ahead. If you know your baby is fascinated with the TV remote, make sure it's out of sight. If he screams in the high chair, let him eat with a lovey on the tray (more laundry for you, but less screaming!).




Parenting, August 2007

Answer 2

It varies with every child. What works with one child might not with the other. I have 5 children and I deal with their anger differently. With my 7 yr. old I use 123 Magic. He knows the my rules and when he breaks one I count. "That's 1" when he initially breaks a rule. If he continues then "That's 2" ( it usually stops there). If it continues then "That's 3 take 7" (time out should correspond with the age. Mine is 7 so he gets 7 min.) My daughter on the other hand, she's 4, I help her count to 10 and she calms down. I let her know I can't understand her when she's crying. My 2 yr. old I have to admit I do not respond a lot of times when he has a tantrum. He usually does it when he's tired or jealous of his sis. I do always make sure he has had everything he needs tho. If he's tired, he takes a nap, if he wants his "ba" and blanky I give it to him and he usually quiets down. My toddler is actually the easiest to calm. But it usually depends on the child. I would try all things that the people here recommend and see what works, but remember you have to be consistant in what ever you decide otherwise nothing will work. I would try a particular method for 3-5 days and if it doesn't work try another method.

Answer 3

How old is your child? If you are in a place where the behaviour can be controlled, put them in a 'time-out.' They are very social at just about any age and to keep them from play or playing with others is unbearable. Rule of thumb is time out 1 minute per year. If you have a 2 year old it is 2 minutes in the time out chair or corner. Time out begins when the child is quiet. When they fuss, you just tell them in an even tone, no emotion that the time out starts when they stop fussing. It is difficult the first few times but after that it becomes a matter of course. Don't give up on this method too quickly, more intelligent children will test your boundaries for a week on this to make you give it up. Stay the course, it is worth it.

Answer 4

My first two were pretty easy going and few temper tantrums. My 2 1/2 year old is making up for all of that. We tried the spanking, time outs, put in room, holding still, giving more/less attention, ignoring it, .... you named it, I've done it. Our biggest issue is that once he starts, he gets so worked up he literally forgets what started the problem in the first place. He simply cannot come down from his frustration and needs to be shocked out of it. And thats where the water spray bottle came in. A few quick cold sprays of water in his face does the trick! It doesn't hurt him, but does give him enough time to breathe and get under control.
Won't guarantee it will work for you, but can't hurt to try.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Don't pay any attention to them. If my son is throwing a tantrum I will walk right pass him. If he is really throwing a tantrum and I can't take it. I pick him up put him in bed and close the door behind me without saying a word. He yells and screams for a minute and then he comes out calm saying he is sorry and he loves me.

He is 4 and normally doesn't throw tantrums, but just like adults sometimes children don't know what to do with their emotions.

Answer 6

When my daughter was between the ages of 2-4, she would throw the worst tantrums. She would lay on the ground screaming kicking her legs (and sometimes me if I got too close). People would tell me to put her in her room as a time out, but she would just come out still screaming, and if I held the door so she couldn't come out, she would kick and scratch the door (once for over an hour!). I was at a loss.

What I found worked best for me, is to pick someone she loves and respects. For her, it was a teacher from her daycare named Amber, but if your kid doesn't go to day care, you can choose and aunt or grandmother or something. When she started screaming, I would say, "Do you want me to call Amber? I'll have her come over here right now. I'll bet she'd be pretty disappointed in you." which would usually result in hands up in the air in protest and, "No! Mommy! Don't call Amber, I'll be good, I promise!"

It was okay if I was disappointed in her, but if someone outside the house (sometimes I used her aunt, too) would be, the world would be over!

Answer 7

I assume you're speaking of your child. Have you tried spanking? Spanking is not against the law and it's not cruel. It's a tool for disciplining. I preached and pleaded with my wife to learn to do this, but she never did. My children didn't throw tantrums, but they never did give her the respect she thought she deserved. I told her that respect is something you earn, it's not a gift. My children learned from an early age that I will administer harsh punishment when necessary, and, in my opinion, it paid off - they have turned out to be very good people. But back to the "tantrums" - all I had to do was walk into the room and give them "the look" and the misbehaving stopped immediately. My wife never could bring herself to administer the necessary punishment therefore she never gained control of them.

Answer 8

Sometimes you have to just let them ride it out - remember it's not feasible to "reason" with a toddler in a fit. Best to put them in a room where they won't hurt themselves or you or break anything. You can't reward a tantrum with attention.

In my experience there appear to be three types of tantrums: 1. Overtired 2. Hungry 3. Attention seeking.

For #1 - not much you can do except keep them safe
For #2 - start with a half filled glass of something to drink, don't give it to them directly (theyll just spill it)- make it available
For #3 - best to ignore

You'll have to use your judgement to determine which type of tantrum it is.

For those saying to "communicate" - sometimes silence speaks louder than words. Just as there is illogic in spanking a child for hitting a sibling - there is equal illogic in "overtalking and reasoning" with a vocal tantrum.


That all being said - if they continue or are very frequent - you may want to talk to your pediatrician. There may be medical or psychological reasons at play - perhaps autism?

Answer 9

When my nephew was small, his temper tantrum was to hold his breath until he turned blue. The doc told my sister to throw cold water in his face when it occurred. Well, the opportunity came, she tossed, and my nephew never held his breath again.

I would say to ignore the child when he/she is carrying on. Put the child in his room, close the door, and tell him he can come out when he is done and can apologize for his behaviour. The more you pay attention to the situation, the worse it gets.

Answer 10

If your child is old enough to understand feelings, tell him/her that they have "hurt mommy's feelings" and made her sad. Maybe say that you want some quiet time by yourself and go into another room to show that you don't like to hear their "mad voice" and will come back when they're using a "nice voice" again. Make sure to praise good responses to potential tantrum starters and show them how to react better in situations, like asking nicely or finding an alternative.