I'm 29 years old and both my parents are in kind of bad health. My mom's diabetic and has trouble moving around and my dad is in the hospital getting a feeding tube inserted in his stomach. He had a stroke and can't eat food so easily anymore.
I made travel plans last month for a trip to Asia. I haven't gone anywhere in 2 years. I want to go but I feel guilty about leaving my parents here while they are not in good health. My mom almost cried when I told her I wanted to travel.
What should I do?
2007-09-05 03:50:27 · 13 answers · asked by johnlert22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know having older parents is hard on you and I know this trip is important to you but you already know what you need to do. Asia will still be there when your parents are not.
Mom cannot deal with your Father's illness on her own. She needs help getting to and from the hospital. She may need help dealing with their finances.
Why, with your parents being in ill health, did you make major travel plans? Did you have a moment of selfishness? That is okay. Just cancel the plans and take care of Mom and Dad.
You will feel better for doing this and so will your parents.
Who knows, maybe in a month or two they will feel better and you can make your plans again.
2007-09-05 04:20:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
plzzzz postpone ur trip. you don't know (and I hope u never know) that how bad it is when u feel guilty about ur parents if anything happen to them. now I feel so bad caz my dad has passed away 2 years ago and I regret that I was not good to him.
before my dad death I was in a very bad situation because I lost my job and my love betrayed me and because of some problems I couldn't register for MS degree....everything was terrible that time...I felt like a big looser.meanwhile my dad was sick and old. but I was very mad and unkind. I was so nervous and desperate and during the last years of his life we just had fights...BUT I DO LOVE HIM...he was the best father.he did whatever he could to raise me and send me to university. I was the only kid so when he was sick I was in charge of life and so I felt my life is ruined.now its two years that he has passed away while I even regret that he died caz of heart stoke but when he told me he has pain(like so many times) I didn't take it serious and when I came back he was dead.and what can I do to tell him I love him?know so late but I can't forgive myself
so now u have this opportunity not to be like me and be kind to ur parents...u r young and u will go to any place u want . specially when ur parents are happy about u and pray for u...regrets is the worst thing anybody can ever take.
wish ur parents health and wish u all the best.
2007-09-05 04:19:48 · answer #2 · answered by negin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I have been you I"d purely get a refund for the tickets and bypass next weekend or yet another day. Your 1st anniversary in basic terms comes around as quickly as a 300 and sixty 5 days. whether you probably did no longer make plans purely being at the same time is particular adequate so stay residing house and experience time alongside with him!
2016-10-04 00:48:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if both of your parents are in poor health you should put off going anywhere until they are feeling better. If you go and something happens to one of them, you will really feel bad that you were not there for them. Stay just until they are in the clear, especially your father. Good Luck!
2007-09-05 04:10:10 · answer #4 · answered by "T" 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like theyre health problems are chronic but not urgent or life threatening. They dont have the kind of health problems that will likely improve either, and you cant live your life chained to that either. Really, you are 29. You made these plans months ago. Your parents are extremely likely to be fine without you so GO ! I would want my kids to go enjoy life!
2007-09-05 04:56:52 · answer #5 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As far as your travel arrangements, hope you bought insurance and went through a travel agent, if you did, they most likely will defer your trip for immediate family reasons. If you didn't, I'm not sure what to tell you.
As for the guilt trip your mother is trying to lay on you, you and your relationship with your higher authority will have to discuss that.
As far as other siblings, cousins, their siblings, you could try that route of sharing.
Other than that, I can tell you what happened to me and several others. Me; my mother and I moved up here where we are now, then her mother became very ill, we weren't able to go back except on visits, her brother and sis-in-law ended up taking care of her, we visited on several trips back and forth and helped them as much as possible.
Another situation: old friend of family had husband who had heart problems, wife had 'social club' meeting to go to, he tells her to go, he'll be fine, she comes home and finds him on kitchen floor deceased.
What will happen will happen. Your mom unfortunately is physically limited in how she is able to care for your dad. Are there no funds set aside for a CNA (cert. nursing Asst.) to make weekly 30 minute visits 2x week?
That's called Home Care and should be approached by the staff and social workers at the hospital before he leaves with his tube. Most likely, they will have a nurse (at least once) come in and check on him to make sure he's following prescribed course of diet, care, etc.
Other than that, hard to say. You need to contact your local county Social Worker to inquire as to any help you and your mother can line up to help you both care for him. God bless and good luck.
2007-09-05 04:21:11 · answer #6 · answered by bpgagirl22 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First Family Health than wealth ( You have not heard health is wealth). Your travel will never be peaceful since there is pain in mind
2007-09-05 04:02:47 · answer #7 · answered by dipndry 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
be there for your parents or arrangments will have to be made for someone to take care of them,or they will be put in a nursing home. they might not die tomorrow ,but why take the chance on missing one day with them. they need you and wont ask. they took care of you and now its your turn to see to them. my parents are both gone and believe me when i say i wish i had just one more day to have them in my life. you should stay close to home until you know they can make it on their own or until they pass on. you have the rest of your life to travel.
2007-09-05 13:54:57 · answer #8 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go visit your dad and tell him you are going on a trip... and how long you will be gone.. even if he can't hear you (you didn't say)....
You can't change their bad health, unfortunately. I'm not trying to sound cruel, but they will still be ill when you get back... and seems to me they are getting medical care, something which you can't do for them, regardless of whether you are home or traveling.
sometimes we have to "take a break" from it all and do something for ourselves, as well.
2007-09-05 04:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
stay......postpone until you know that your dad is o.k. because if something happens and you're in Asia you'll never forgive yourself so stay and leave some other time.....Asia has been around forever and will be....you're parents days a numbered .
2007-09-05 13:52:18 · answer #10 · answered by liltrece 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋