My little brother doesn't like to go outside much so 3 years ago, my parents made rules that when I go swimming, bike riding, etc., he had to go too. At the beginning of summer, my brother and I were fighting about his going bike riding with me and our mom took his side and didn't make him go. The same thing happened with swimming later in the day. I tried telling my brother Mom said he had to and that worked for a little while until he confronted Mom, and I got yelled at for lying! I tried telling him Dad said he had to, but when he went to Dad, Dad grounded me for lying about him saying something he didn't say. Our parents also allow his friends I don't like coming over. They aren't "bad" kids, just people I have nothing in common with. We've always gone to the same school but this year, our parents sent him to a different school. Now me, my friends, and their siblings in his class can't watch him and nobody I know knows anyone at his new school. How do I get our parents straight?
2007-09-05 03:34:45 · 7 answers · asked by Mary T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Stop worrying about your brother and do your own thing.
You are not his babysitter. -Good luck!
2007-09-12 18:59:14 · answer #1 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar situation with my sister growing up and I wish my parents had seen the light and done something like what your's have done. The fact you were arguing tells me you were probably ordering him to do it because your parents' rules gave you that power. Having to drop whatever he is doing on your whims gave you some control over him, and having your friends and their siblings in school to watch his every move and pounce on him or tattle on him to Mom and Dad also gave you control. The fact you even were willing to lie about your parents saying he had to do something you wanted him to do says you don't like losing that control and are desperate to keep it.
Your parents have realized your domination over him is out of hand and are trying to fix the mess they created. Allowing him to do things like say no to you and have his friends over, whether you like it or not, is them saying that he is valid too and has as much right to his life and his activities as you do yours.
Sending him to a different school is another way in which they are liberating him from you. Since you've always gone to the same school, thanks to you, your friends, and their siblings, he has always been under your thumb. Without all of you around, perhaps he can spread his wings a little, without worrying about you or your friends coming down on him. In other words, maybe he can start to find out who he is.
If this hasn't helped you look at it another way. What if you had a 16 year old sibling for whom you had to drop whatever you were doing at a moment's notice to do what they did, or if that sibling could ban friends of yours from the house because they didn't like them, or constantly kept tabs on your every move like the Secret Police? I'm sure you wouldn't.
You need to back off, let him grow on his own, and have his own life, and you need to go live yours. If they don't blend, that's how it has to be. If you think not being able to control him diminishes you in some way, then you have more problems than can be solved here.
Good luck.
2007-09-05 07:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by dapriz6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they have already taken sides and your brother lost out.
It sounds like he is going through the pubies, along will all the attendant hormonal swings... in boys, it tends to lean towards increased aggression. The stubborn attitude towards getting any exercise will probably make him fat and he is probably sliding towards hypoglycemia and diabetes now. With nobody watching out for him, the potential for him getting into drugs and other trouble also increases.
You can tell your parents that much.
Other than that, all you can do is stay active. You can invite your brother to come along with you... maybe if you change the pressure settings and make it more social, he might want to tag along... maybe one of your friends has some siblings his own age.
2007-09-05 03:52:25 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't responsible for your brother's entertainment, social life or doing things with him every day.
It's nice to do things with our brothers and sisters, but you aren't the "entertainment committee" and i'm sure you have your own friends and want to spend time doing things YOU enjoy.
what do you care if his friends come over? They are his friends, not yours.
do what you like with your own friends.
perhaps you might let your parents see this question and all of the answers you get?
You are NOT responsible to "watch" your brother at school, either... Your parents are responsible for both you and your brother. they are confused.
2007-09-05 03:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but there is nothing you can do. Parents always think they know better and sometimes we do, but all you can do is try your best to get along with your brother. Because in 5 years he might be your best friend. And you never ever want to do anything you might regret because who knows what the next day will bring. Good luck sweety...
2007-09-05 05:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by so lost in life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you get to spend time with your little brother. I think the last time I saw mine, he was still in diapers and he is now in college. Quit complainig about having a family and enjoy them. Have a very direct talk, not yelling match, with your parents and let them know how you feel. No matter what their reponse, think about how you might one day wonder if your little brother is thinking about you.
2007-09-12 14:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think that your parents are taking care of the problem by sending him to a different school. They made a huge mistake by expecting you to straighten him out. You were much too young to take over their responsibility.
2007-09-09 09:32:18 · answer #7 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋