Me & My stepfather got into a heated arguement & he wound up choking me and pulling my hair. My mom tried to stop him but she couldnt. He was once abusive to her but my mom keeps taking him back. Does any social worker or police officer in NJ know.... if I press chargers or get a restraining order, would I have to leave my household or would he .. please help i dont want to get taking away from my mom .. p.s im ok i dont have any bruises or anything but I just want him out of my life
2007-09-05 03:27:35 · 26 answers · asked by citifrresh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I could live with my dad but he wouldnt be any better he doesnt provide for me & it wouldnt be a good living situation. Plus Im afraid if I leave he will hurt my mom .. Im scared I dont wanna leave my mom . sometimes she doesnt make the right decisions but she's still my mother
2007-09-05 03:43:51 · update #1
go talk to someone at the police department, hon.... and maybe child protective services.
you shouldn't have to live like this
do you have the option of living with your father? or no?
your mother has not made a very good choice in her partner, that's for sure... sometimes we haev to do what is best for OURSELVES, and apparently your mother isn't taking very good care of herself or of YOU.
hugs
2007-09-05 03:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hi hun...I see your problem and I'm not sure if I can help your situation or not. Not all states have the same rules or laws but I would think if you called the police and pressed charges that the authorities would have your stepfather leave the home before you, since you are still considered a juvenile and under the age of 18. Now your mom still has the authority and the officers will probably ask her quite a few questions regarding your stepfather. Now you also can call DCFS but here again going this route they may or may not remove you from the home if they feel that you are being abused. If you call the authorities sometimes they are required to call the 'child abuse line' and get the DCFS involved anyway so it's your decision. If I was in your shoes then I would have to have a long talk with my mother, if she doesn't agree with my feelings about the issue then I would call the authorities and go from there. Take care and God Bless.
2007-09-12 13:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of that house. The sooner you talk to the police department the sooner something can be done. They will tell you all there options. I'm pretty sure if your mom decides to pursue legal action she can get a restraining order or Protection From Abuse order (not sure of the name in NJ). That will make it illegal for him to go near her or even contact her and you. You can probably take one out too.
If your mother won't pursue legal action take the advice and leave. I moved in with my dad at 15 for a similar reason. Although I had never been abused, my mom had. My mom ended up leaving the guy and he ended up in jail. I have a better relationship with my dad now because we live together and he really stepped up to the plate because I was now a full time responsibility. My mom and I also have a better relationship. She realized that this man was affecting her ability to be a good parent to me. It all caused a lot of heartache all the way around.
No one has the right to hurt you. If he hurt you and he's hurt your mom before, he's going to again. And you do'nt want to end up in a hospital or worse a body bag. If he choked you, that's not far from dead hun. I know it's a sucky situation but talk to an adult you trust. Also, do you have any aunts, uncles, older siblings, grandparents that would let you live with them.
Also try talking to your mom. I know you're only 15 but you have been put in a very adult situation and you seem like you want to handle it like an adult. Please do so
2007-09-13 08:56:15 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police and press charges and get an order of protection. He should not have to put his hands on you or talk abusively to you. If you don't things can and will get much worse. Your mom needs a wake up call. Child Protective Services will remove you temporarily and your mother will be force to remove him from the home in order for you to return. Good luck and God bless.
2007-09-13 01:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Report it! He will be arrested for child abuse, and when his sorry *** is out of jail, he will be served a restraining order to not be so many feet away from YOUR HOME. You won't have to leave he will and if your mom can grab a little self esteem she will see him for the loser he is and be done with him. He is a coward and not considered a man when he inflicts pain on you and your mother like that. Report this situation to either a social worker, cop, pastor, child abuse service, because he is going to get worse and maybe kill one of you. Obviously he likes to push the weakest people around, because he feels macho. When his sorry *** is in the slammer for his tough behaviour, he'll get a little pay back. Don't live in fear !
2007-09-12 23:02:29 · answer #5 · answered by teecee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy has a prior arrest record things will not be easy for him and he would probably have to leave the household.
At worst, you may be removed from the household by Children's Advocates and placed in a shelter.
Either one would be a wake-up call for your mom.
You need to talk to your mom in private and get her on your wavelength. Does she really want to put up with more of this abuse, knowing that it will get progressively worse every time? If she does, let her know that you are willing to go into foster care just to get away from the house. If she doens't help her file and get away. Divorces are only a couple hundred dollars.
2007-09-05 10:43:39 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hi 15 year old
You are not responsible for your mum or your step father. They are the adults in all situations..
You have every right to contact social workers for support, a school councilor or doctor.
In Australian law they would look at the whole situation and consider whether you were at risk of further harm before anyone would be removed from the situation. Mostly services are available to support families and try to keep them together through open communication.
Emotional scars are just as hurt ful as physical bruises.
You have so many choices in life to make..........
Choose not get into heated arguements with the step father
Counselling will do wonders for your family
2007-09-05 10:58:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
you have done the first step, you let all of us know about this. second step is you need to talk with your mom because I believe that she has been putting up with alot more than you know of from this sick man. sweety you seriously need to get out if your mom is not going to stop him from harming you. you need to go somewhere that you can get some protection. do you have close friends nearby. If the s-father tries anything and you can get away quick you need to. Go to the police, when you do this they have the civic duty of calling child protection services, I would first try getting your mom out. If she doesnt want to go and keep making excuses for him. Then you need to think of yourself and your health. your father, an aunt, uncle, cousins, grandparents. anyone around that you could turn to. DONOT CONTINUE TO PUT UP WITH THIS MAN CRAP. HURRY UP AND MAKE A DECISION AND STAND BY IT.
2007-09-12 19:54:09 · answer #8 · answered by jay m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, if you don't report it and something else happens to you at his hands, you might be taken away anyway. if your mother keeps taking him back, she needs help as well and she is in no position to help anyone. you must protect yourself.
i don't want you to end up dead. foster homes are sometimes not much better, but you know what you have to look forward to if you do not tell someone and get out of that household.
I pray for God's protection over you and your mother. I pray that God change the heart of your stepfather so that he has no desire to harm even one hair on your heads. I pray for courage for your mother, so that she will choose to leave that situation. I pray for peace for you, beloved, that you may endure these hard times.
2007-09-12 00:52:42 · answer #9 · answered by QueenBeeFee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all you should not take any of his abuse nor should your mother ,my sister is an attorney and she said to have you and your mom file a restraining order,he will have to leave the home,and if he comes back the police will lock him up,you and your mothers safety are the most important thing,please tell your mother to file a restraining order and get this abuser out of your lifes,before he ends up killing you or your mom or both
2007-09-11 09:04:21 · answer #10 · answered by tnsupermomwhit 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are way too young to have to cope with an abusive stepfather. I know how much you want to protect your Mother, but someone has to look after you. If you don't have family to help you out, talk to Child Protective Services.
2007-09-10 12:54:04 · answer #11 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋