Need some advice regarding long distance relationship.?

Question

Hi everybody, i need some help.

My girlfriend and I have been together since high school, were going on 6 1/2 years now. She had to move to another city (about 70 miles) away because her brother bought a new house. She lives with him because the parents are in another country.

Anywho, we saw each other on the weekend and everything and things were going okay. Well recently she got a part-time job, which is good and now she is also going back to school now for 3 yrs.

We talk almost everyday, email, phone calls, IM etc. But am a little concerned about a few things.

First of all, he has this group of guy friends she works with, and she says she's just friends with them, which i do trust her but i dont trust them. I told her how i felt about them, and she understands but she wont give them up (am not trying to make her give them up) since they are nice to her and everything. Nobody has tried anything with her either.

Now, she doesnt want me to meet them, or tell them she has a bf (she says its nobody's business, she is like that with everyone, even girls, if she is asked about bfs, she'll say she has one).

With her working and with school, she barely sees me anymore. She tells me she still loves me and wants to be with me, but right now school and work are a prority and now am kind of a lower prority.

About our relationship, she says its good to get space from each other, and how we should use this time now to do what we couldnt do before. Like for instance she suggested i should practive my guitar more, work out, that sorta thing.

When she was with me, she was so focused on our future and she said she wants to be with me and all that, I don't think she feels different but to me it kinda feels that way since she doesn't mention it anymore or like really talk about it. She says right now she wants to focus on the now instead of the later.

I might be moving to where she is in about a years time (due to work) but she feels that maybe we should still stay apart for awhile.

The truth is, i dont want to lose her, to anything or anyone. What do you guys think about this? i know i should trust her and have faith in her but since she started work and school and those guy friends showed up I barely eat and sleep, like it gets to me.

Any help is appreciated, thank you.

Answer 1

Having a job and going to school is a good thing, but if she is serious about you being in her life then she would make you as high a priority as the others.

I also think that just because she is in another city and really busy doesn't mean she can't have time for you.... you said she's not as focused as she was before on your future. That would worry me a bit.

I know you're worried about others, but you have to trust in her as a person. She won't give out what she doesn't want to, no matter how much someone asks her for it, if she has a good character and knows who she is and what she wants.

Bottom line is you have to talk to her. You need to ask her some point blank questions about where she is in her feelings with you. If you may be moving to her city and she still suggests space, I would think she isn't ready to be committed with you. You don't want to force her into such a thing and I doubt you could, but I mean don't pressure her.

She will have to decide these things on her own and come to you if and when she's ready and if she doesn't, you have to respect her decision and move on no matter how much you want her.

Talk to her face to face, seriously...and soon.
Good luck!

Answer 2

she's right, it is the best decision. maybe you guys will get together later, but i know from experience that long-distance relationships...yeah, they don't work. especially since the work load is so much heavier. her studies come first, and there's no reason her future should suffer because of some guy [although sweet, loving, etc.] should come first when there are no guarantees about the relationship, and in fact, chances are that that relationship won't work out. just let her go. it's hard, but it's for the best. =/

Answer 3

Maybe you are moving to slow and she is doing this to see if you hurry and make the next step...cause if I were your girlfriend after 6 YEARS! eather I look for someone else who wants to start a life with me or I will try to let you know that is it now to make the next step or never...and maybe she is trying to do this or both of this 2 options....she might be looking for someone else and letting you know that you might not be the onlyone so you better hurry buddy!!
Good luck!

Answer 4

well i thnk you worry too much and you are a little bit jealous, its perfectly normal, you have been with her for a long time, so dont worry i am sure she cares asmuch of you too... let her have some fun and give her some space, be honest about how you feel but also tell her that you are not worried about anything as you completely trust her and you have total faith that she will never betray you... but mostly let her have her space fo now.
good luck buddy..

Answer 5

To be honest, it sounds like the harder you try to hold on to her, the quicker you're going to lose her. She is enjoying her independence and sees your actions as potentially interfering with this. Even couples who are great together can't always continue their relationship after such drastic changes -- I think you should start preparing yourself in case it doesn't work out.

Answer 6

You really have the courage to type this big question.. well there is only one thing i can say.. girls changes with a wink of an eye.. i guess you are intelligent enough to understand..

Answer 7

think about it -- she is telling you that her new friends don't know she has a boyfriend. why not?

if I were in your position, i'd ask her to come clean about her feelings and if she still has plans for the future with me.... after over 6 years with her, you deserve a straight answer.

her behavior is odd.

Answer 8

"mga sawing palad nga naman"

this is a filipino phrase, hehe...

if you trust her then be strong...

but if you find out that she has another, then she's a ***** and must be disposed of...

Answer 9

In short, keep trust in her.

Answer 10

get rid of her. she going or is with another guy