I met this woman at a party and because we were drunk I kissed her, then she asked if we could go for a drink and I agreed then we went back to hers and, well you know. Now she phoning me, texting me, leaving me emails every single day about how she has feelings for me, but I don't feel the same way about her.
She is a lovely person so I do not want to hurt her feelings, this whole situation is a mess. I know I was wrong to lead her on, but I didn't think it would get this serious.
Now she has organised another night out and she is planning it apparently I hear from her friends she is nervous about it and I have said yes because it is a night out with other people too.
I need to get out of this please, thank you.
2007-09-04 23:42:30 · 25 answers · asked by Paul M 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would hardly call it obsessed. She thinks you like her and is excited about starting a new relationship!. Only problem is, you don't like her, so see this as obsessed....
I know you think you are being a nice person by not telling her you don't like her, as you don't wish to hurt her feelings, but it is the only way out.
She is planning this night out because she doesn't know that you don't like her. Hints like not replying to phone calls and texts can all be rationally explained in a womans head if she thinks that you like her, like - you lost your phone, or something. You REALLY need to tell her that you didn't want to hurt her feelings and thought that you were letting her down gently, but you thought it best to just come out with it to confirm that you thought she was nice, but she really isn't your type and you don't want a relationship.
The poor girl probably thinks you are dating, as you went out for a drink alone, and then "you know"!
I learned a long time ago, that you get nowhere by burying your head in the sand.
2007-09-05 00:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by fire_woman_1978 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you led her on. She jumped into bed with you and she has to take responsbility for her own decisions. You like her, she's nice, but you dont want a relationship with her.
Why do women think that jumping into bed will automatically mean you get up and go out with the guy the next day?! They cannot divorce sex from relationships I guess - perhaps you would be best to bear this in mind and only sleep with people you meet out of your social circle in future?
The only fair thing to do now is not to put if off or tell other people she knows. Ask her for a drink/chat (in public so she doesn't get any ideas or try it on) and tell her you really like her it was a fun night but that was it. Say you are sorry is she felt at all misled. Then avoid her socially for about 6 months. She will get over it and move on. Believe me if she has feeling for a guy after one night that are so compelling she will feel the same about another person in a month or two's time - maybe less!!!
2007-09-05 07:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by Saucy B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation. I was a real a%s cause I couldn't decide whether I liked her that much or not and let it go on for a few weeks.
Well by then she was all but in love with me and I still had no feelings for her. I had to call it off and it really hurt her. She hates me now.
You just need to be cruel to be kind. Tell her you had a good night but are not ready for a relationship or anything at the moment, don't make it personal. Lie a bit and say it is just not the right time or something,
Don't break her heart.
2007-09-05 06:52:42 · answer #3 · answered by abluebobcat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her like it is and apologise for taking advantage of her but you were both the little worse for wearthat evening and things got out of hand .
Say also that you hope she is not offended but you are not wanting pursue a relationship with her or anyone in fact at this particular time.
You must have given her some encouragement because how did she get your phone number if you only met at a party...comeon now!
Next time pull your pants up and run like hell. lol
EDIT: Do you mind me asking but how did you do the buz if you were drunk....you must be one helluva of guy. My husband can't do it when he's had a bevvey.
2007-09-05 06:54:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a bad situation indeed and obviously this woman is either needy for a relationship or she really has her hopes set on you. If you continue to go to parties and so forth with her or where she is present, you are in fact leading her on and will only find yourself in a worse position. The most humbling thing you can do is to apologise to her and hope for the best. Yes, she may be heartbroken but not half as heartbroken as if she would be to believe that you are interested in her and let her continue to make a fool of herself. I wish you luck!
2007-09-05 06:52:08 · answer #5 · answered by Papooselet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her that there is nothing between you! There is no other way! Ok, she is a nice person but you are leading her on and you need to tell her as gently as possible that you enjoyed the night together but you do not want to have a relationship with her. It is a simple as that, you will hurt her feelings when you tell her but it will be a lot harder if you string her along and do not tell her there is nothing in this. Just tell her, she will appreciate your honesty now rather than you lying to her for ages and stringing her along.
2007-09-05 06:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh God!
You have to bite the bullet and tell her you do not feel the same!
You are being too nice and as a result you will end up really hurting this woman's feelings!
Be honest, not brutal, and explain that you are not interested in a relationship and that the night you spent together was fun but that was all it was.
Remember the film Fatal Attraction! NOT saying she's a bunny boiler but get honest and let her down easy and effectively!! and today, text now! cancel! explain!
2007-09-05 06:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
WOW she is so in to u ... She fell for u too fast!
OK OK well the only proper way to get out of this is to tell her straight.. You would hurt her feelings 10x worse if you left without an explanation.
Just tell her that you arent ready for a relationship and that you are very sorry that it has come to this but u thought you had moved on from a past relationship but it appears you are still stuck on your ex or that you stil need time.
That will ease her off and she will get the picture - its hard to break up with sum1 knowing you are going to hurt their feelings but atleast you will leave knowing you did it the rite way.
2007-09-05 06:51:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't go out with her again.This is going to make it worse,You will end up in bed again,you will never get rid of her.You need to just tell her now,it will get totally out of hand after the second date.She will be the booty call from hell.Send her some flowers, with a letter telling her she is not what you are looking for.Then stay away from her.Dont answer her calls,texts,emails cut it off.
2007-09-05 06:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by lotteda717 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you've got to say you have something thats come up, and you can't go, at the same time say it's moving far too fast for you, you need time out. as the loger this goes on the hurt will be greater for her
2007-09-05 07:34:42 · answer #10 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋