i'm so stressed, i'm 15, i don't know what to do, i'm going insane, help?

Question

My family has a huge debt and my parents are constantly fighting about it, I'm left to take care of my twin bro & sis that are 4 all the time, and our lawyer that my parents hate is one of my best friends dad and now he knows I know! Lately whenever I hear my parents fight I get headaches, stomaches, and now I can't sleep because I stay awake thinking about it. I don't know what to do and how to de-stress. I'm normally a really relaxed person but this is making me insane and I'm scared I'm gonna give myself a stomach ulser and go CRAZY!! On the outside and around other people I'm so calm and everyone things I'm perfect and that my life is too, I never let people see my cry or stressed, it's too hard for me because I'm the one that keeps my family together and is always there for people with THEIR problems.

UGGHGHGH HELP PLEASE!!!!

Answer 1

At 15, there is limitations at what you can do. The most important is that you do your duty as debt's priority is out of your control. Just do your best at any house chores or baby sitting that you are entrusted with. Most important is to study well for the future so as to avoid such predicament as your family is going through. Don't envy others, most of the times those who had gone through hard times would be more level headed than those who don't.

By the way, you are just growing up. The most you can do is to support the family by ensuring your other brother and sister don't become a pain in the neck to your parents. Concentrate on your studies and when you do succeed in taking good care of them, I consider that you have done your job. Eat regularly and hang on in there, the light is at the other end.

Answer 2

you ought to start thinking a bit more about yourself dear heart. Keeping all of those emotions bottled up inside is no good for you. It is all right to cry dear heart! Don't you have someone you trust in whom you could confide and let all of this pain and grief out? If there are social services where you live you could go and talk to a social worker. She would not judge you and that person could suggest ways to improve your situation. Keeping the family together is a big responsibility and there isn't much you can do when the members of that family don't do anything to improve their situation. You are not responsible for what they should do! I'm sorry you are in such a sad situation. I've been there, so I understand. Open up and take a stand. This is the best way to let the stress out! You deserve to be happy! Faking happiness is not the way. You are self-destroying your well-being. Please stop and think positively about yourself. You are worth more than you think you are! There is nothing wrong in leaving behind the problems that do not belong to you! If at all possible, it would be good if you could get away for a little while. You need a change of surrounding. Perhaps a friend or relative could help you out with this. After all you've helped a lot of people, so some of them might be grateful enough to help.

Good luck
GBY.

Answer 3

Hi! I'm in a similar situation, parents fight, two younger siblings.

Here's some things you might want to consider:

1. Realise that this is not your fault. All parents fight once in a while. However, some fight more often, and more intensively.

2. Talk to someone. I know it's hard to let someone know you're not perfect, but talking will help a lot. You made the first step by posting this question. Congratulations! Anyways, I'm sure there are people in real life. A school counselor / adviser is a great start. If you're religious, you might want to talk to the leader of your Christian youth group, your pastor, rabbi or anyone else you trust.

3. Focus on your school work. Guess what? College means separation from your family! Besides, knowing that you are good at a particular aspect of your life (academics) will help big time.

4. Talk to your parents. This is a very important step. Tell them that while you enjoy taking care of your siblings, you also need some time for school work, leisure activities, and yourself. Ask them not to fight in front of you.

Answer 4

I am sorry that your parents are so absorbed in debt, that they have dumped their problems on you...but this happens a lot,..I hope that they will appreciate you some day, and realize how lucky they are to have you there...sometimes, they know it, but just don't show it..Their problems aren't your problems, but you need to talk to mom and dad, and tell them that you are just fifteen, and this is too much for you, and start crying in front of them and let them know you are still a kid, and not the second mom in the house...ask them if you got a part time job, would it help the finances at all? (say if you bought your own things, etc..)...tell them you will do whatever it takes, but that you can't take the pressure and stress any more...if they are mean about it? then go to your school counselor, and confide with them, and see what they say, go to a trusting adult, and say your prayers...all of your good help will pay off soon, I feel...and don't worry about the friends dad, that is how your parents feel, and make that clear, it isn't you...God Bless and good luck honey, been there, done that and lived through it to be stronger

Answer 5

Big problem.
In fact, bigger than you should have to deal with.
And it isn't even your problem: other people (who are older and should know better) are not taking care of it. They're letting it slip and allow it to become your problem.

There is no easy way out for you.
You can try a couple of things. One thing you can try is to demand (yes: demand) that the fighting stops.
Fighting does not bring money into the house. Fighting does not lower the debt. Therefore, it is counterproductive.
Want to fight? Go outside. Come back when you can act like adults.

For the rest: I don't know how large the debt is, but fighting never helps. Depending on how large it is, appropriate measures should be taken, even though they may be painful.
If it's a manageble debt, then not buying new things is a good start. A smaller car helps a lot.
And a list of all things that cost money, catogarised by your parents into 'Must have' (car to go to work) and 'Nice to have' (can find justification for but can do without).

I'm sorry to hear you are forced to take on a role that is a) too heavy and b) not your fault.

I wish you lots of strength.

Answer 6

This problem is between yr dad and mum.
This is their problem,not yours.Why make some 1 's problem into YOUR problem??

As a thoughtful child of your parents,be nice 4 these hard days.Because not only you,your parents are also stressed out,too.Take care of your siblings with love,dont let your siblings fight.Since your parents have a debt,save some money in school,Be careful of what you spend at school.(Like food,stationary etc.)This will also help your parents,too.

Dont get depressed and think too much(as what you say about the stomach ulser and go crazy thingy...)STAY CALM ALWAYS.If u start to think crazy things,take deep breathes,and think HAPPY thoughts.Or think of 1 place u wanna go(like a country,heaven..etc)and ''go'' there.

If u cant think of anything happy,(especially now u are so stressed out,talk 2 some1 that u trust and knows how 2 respect your private thoughts(like a friend,a relative,etc.)For better results,talk to the school councellor/seek professional help.

Wish u all the best!!

Answer 7

It's not your responsibility to "keep the family together" - you are only 15 and you are too young to be taking on things like this. If your parents are fighting and arguing about financial problems, then it's of their own making - and only they can resolve it.....

You need to sit down with one or both of your parents (you pick a good time) and talk to them about things. It could be that it is something they are going through and is more to do with their own relationship [rather than money]. An option is also to look at getting some time out for yourself - could you stay with relatives or friends for a bit of a holiday or at weekends?

Answer 8

You letting your parents read all of these would be SWEEET!! Let them know that you are not ready to be a parent. They wanted to have another kid so bad... Well here... have 2. Not your problem. But to tell you the truth, they cant read your mind. They are both so stressed right now that they are blind to what you need. Its your job to sit them down and get them focused on you and tell them exactly what your feeling. Holding all of this in is whats going to make you go balistic. I have a 14 year old daughter and a 16 month old son. Being a teenager is hard enough as it is these days much less having to care for your baby sibs. You need to take care of you right now. Say something. Let them read this. I promise it will open their eyes. Good luck honey.

Answer 9

It is not your job to worry. But I understand where you are coming from. Talk to your parents and explain to them how you feel. Take a walk or a nice hot bath to relax, listen to some soothing sounds like the ocean or the rain. I know you are young and feel alot older than you are. Take good care of the siblings, but tell your parents you would like a break sometimes from them to be with your friends. And just because they dont like your bf's dad, that shouldnt enterfear with you and your friend. Talk to you school counsilor, a friend that you trust, or a family memeber too helps. You dont have to explain every little detail. Your family will pull thru. I will pray for you....

Answer 10

If you can't talk this over with your mum or dad then find a best mate to speak to. Is there an activity that you really enjoy? If you get invoved in this you may meet someone that you connect with and dont feel so lonely. Also it will take your mind off things. I cant believe that your parents are being so self centered or are you just describing the way that you see things. Maybe you are refusing to communicate with them, i dont know. I have a step daughter who refused to tell me about anything that was going on in her head which made it impossible for me to help her. I wish you the best of luck. xx