Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or any thing. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
Your EX-Wife
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
2007-09-04 20:08:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
2007-09-04 20:10:13 · update #1
So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten mill ion dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
2007-09-04 20:10:23 · update #2
oH..gosh.. Just cracked me up XD
Sigh. I needed that after my terrible day.
2007-09-04 20:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lmao funny 10/10 starred
2016-05-17 06:14:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very nice story and illustrates how a couple can see each other so differently. Funny thing; told my hubby I wanted a divorce last night [I was joking - we are like that] because he can be such a miserable git. Best I check he hasn't done the lottery or anything now!
2007-09-04 20:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by alex s 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
this one was great this shows me that theres always two sides to the story. You start off feeling bad for this wife who seems to dote on her lazy inconciderate husband, but then you realize this isnt a loving compasionate wife at all shes a sleezy two timing gold digger who is betraying that poor man in the worst way...with his brother...but she got her and that my friend is called KARMA
2007-09-05 09:40:58 · answer #4 · answered by jillianav 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not the first time i read this, but i always read it to the end....
It' a real gem! Star 4 u.
2007-09-04 20:46:42 · answer #5 · answered by Mind-waster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good joke hahaha
2007-09-05 03:03:29 · answer #6 · answered by Sparky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is long but worth reading, i really enjoyed it!
thanks for sharing!
2007-09-04 20:11:36 · answer #7 · answered by Oh My God! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aheee heee heee
2007-09-04 20:15:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahhhhhhh hahahhhahh
pmsl
2007-09-05 04:00:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmfao omg that was sweet
2007-09-04 20:16:39 · answer #10 · answered by Gina B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋