get married early and have kids or follow dreams and not get married?

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* Member since: August 21, 2006
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DO you think im being bad, irrational for thinking that women who get pregnant and marry early?

women who married early wasted their life, i am so sick and tired of my friends getting married at the age 0f 18, of my cousin wanting to get married at the age of 21 without even trying to reach her dreams, as if marrying is the point and purpose of all women, im just so sad whenever many 16 to 20 year old women who have not fulfilled their dreams and career yet, and they marry and they lose many chances and possibilities in life,as if sex is all that matters, i dont
understand it, is it still love if it takes away chances that should have made a woman better?

Answer 1

There are a lot of women who marry and have kids young who still pursue their dreams and are very successful!! It just depends on the person and what they want out of life!! If they want to get married and have kids just so their husbands can support them all, that's pathetic!! Fantasia made it with a baby! Some people are married 40 & 50yrs and they make their sucess together!! So try and think of it as another point of view!! If you were deeply in love and your boyfriend proposed to you, would you turn him down b/c you havent fulfilled your dreams!! I hope I helped you see another side of their story!!

Answer 2

It depends on your own decision.There are some possibili ties such as :
1)Follow your dream and your career and no get married
2)Follow your dream and your career and then get married
3)Get married early and has children and forget your dream and your career
4)Get married and has children and besides that you follow your dream and your career.
Which one will you select it is up to your own judgement.If you choose the number 4 above you must discuss your dream and your career with your would be husband.If you have reach a mutual agreement and firm commitment with your would be husband ,managing a family affairs can be run smoothly with the reaching your dream and your career.I know there are many successful career women while being a wife and a mother of their children.
You can manage your children by birth control.You must know the reality that a woman needs a man and a man needs a woman.It is natural because some one needs foods and drinks and also sex.Adultery or fornication is forbidden and you will get sins.God gives us lusts or desires which should be controled well.If you decided no married at all along your life that means you are against with the natural law..You must accept its consequences.You are getting old. and tired.
You can be sick/ill.You can not share your opinion.You must solve your own problems by yourself.If you get married these burdens will be shared with your husband in luckiness/happi ness and unluckiness/sadness.Everything will be felt lightly.
Your kids will make your life more fun.and happier..Your life will be more fruitful.Good luck for you.

Answer 3

this question depends greatly on what your dream(s) might be and whether your dreams are REALLY dreams or just current flights of fancy. What do you REALLY want out of life? Determine that and then outline the steps to get you there. And remember, your dreams will change over time so don't be afraid to reprioritize what your dreams and goals are every so often.

As to getting married and having kids young - this is a serious double-edged sword. Typically, those who marry and procreate young are more financially strapped than those who wait several years while developing careers. These people have more energy to keep up with their kids but may lack the needed maturity with regards to child rearing. Last benefit to having a family early - you're still young when the kid(s) have moved out of the house (unless they mooch). Other side of the fence - those who marry and start families later usually have more experience to aid them in parenting decisions and usually have a more stable financial base to work from. They may lack the energy to chase their kids around and are inherently older when the kids leave the home.

Just some food for thought...

Answer 4

It's all individual. My friends started getting pregnant and/or married between 14 and 16. I didn't even start having sex until almost 18. I married at 21 and had my son at almost 24. Ten years later I have been divorced 2 years and feel I missed out on some things, but I adore my son, and would not trade having known him for anything in the world. Thanks to my marriage I lived and traveled all over the US, Canada and Mexico, lots of places I might not have ever seen. Now in my mid-30's the only dreams I have not fulfilled are finishing college and traveling to Europe. I am going back to college in a few months and *will* at some point travel to Europe.

BTW: Marrying and having children does NOT preclude having a career, even a GREAT career. It also does not stop one from achieving his or her dreams. My former spouse had a lifelong dream of racing motorcycles. Getting married did not stop that from happening, thanks to his college education and chosen career (engineer) he could afford to do both. I chose to leave the business world when my son was 2 so I could be a stay at home parent, and I am glad to have had that choice. Now that I am back in the business world I miss the days where I could spend all my time with my kiddo, volunteer at his school and for his athletic teams, although I LOVE working.

Answer 5

This is something I think about. I got married this year, and I'm 23. My dreams are to move around, to get involved, make a difference, all while having a family. Since being married, we have lived in the same place (in the same small town I grew up in, right next door to my childhood home, by the way), have stayed at the dead end jobs that 15 year olds are hired to do, and not had enough money to have children. I have the love of my life, but did I give up my aspirations? Will they really not come true? If not, are they REALLY my dreams? Would I let them go just like that? Maybe they will come later.

Answer 6

I have to agree with you on this one. My friends are like in their early 20's as well and are getting married and having kids. I want that too some day, but really I just feel that they have been so brainwashed into believing that whole 50's mentality of having to get married so soon and having kids. I mean that is all my friends talk about. Even some of my guy friends are like that. And I'm like what is the matter with you? You aren't even 25 yet and you are having a baby, your married and you work at freaking wal-mart? Is this really what you spent all your hard earned education and schooling on? I know it wasn't but for some people they just need to be with someone more than makes anything in the world. Its sad really but we can't help those that wish to do different things than we want them to do. Just wish all your friends good luck. And you can only hope for the best for them.

Answer 7

I agree to your opinion totally.Those who thinks marrying at an early age of between 18 to 24 is not really the best thing to do.They should finish their careers or degree or vocation for that matter so they are prepared for the betterment of their life together without being a burden to their family or society .Some are just for lust satisfaction,which is impractical nowadays especially success is measured on your capacity to live & earn a living.You can see some are just dependent on someone's taxes in order for them to get by.There are some circumstances that leads to this action which we will consider the evaluation of what happen to their life or tragedy that leads to poverty.There are some who does marry early are successful tooBut in my own mind the right age is always the norm to find a partner that you will not divorce one year later & be back to square one.

Answer 8

A career is great and I think every woman who wants one should have one. However, down the road it is family that will be the most fullfilling in your life. A career can be very rewarding, but if you focus on that and nothing else, you can end up very lonely and empty. Women and men have the best of both worlds all the time. Yes, it's tough and takes alot of hard work, but it is possible. If you want it all, you can have it all. Everything might not go just as you plan, but sometimes what we plan isn't what's best for us or right for us. Do you think every doctor waits until all his schooling and residency is over to start a family? Of course not! You juggle what you have to in order to fit into your life what's important to you.

Answer 9

I married at 21.We have one and a half children.An apartment home that is bigger than some small homes.Two fully paid off vehicles one new.Currently shoping for a house , and lots of love for and from our child.We visit our family often in other states, we see museums, the ocean, beaches, beatiful gardens, libraries,zoos,performances, mountain sides and deserts. If I went to college I would be missing such a life.Sure I had other dreams ,but now I have better dreams and making them come true.

Answer 10

Wait for having kids. Unless having kids IS your dream.

I think waiting is great. Get your dream going, get financially set. Make sure you can afford great vacations every year, as well as saving for retirement and college and such.

Never let your education or profession get stalled to the point that it becomes worthless.

I got a specific degree years ago but because I never worked in the field, it's a fairly useless degree.

My sister became a nurse and not only works part-time, she gets school credits every year to keep her 'degree'/creditials fresh.

Kids suck the life out of you. They are worth it, but only if you know that you will be sacrificing a LOT and you can do it freely.

Set yourself up first and NEVER become totally dependent on your spouse.