i belong to a broken family, my aunt was the one who raised me and took care of me ever since i was a baby. I kind of left her to help my sister established her business together with her foreigner bf. Since i am more experienced and decisive, I helped her a lot. i helped her from zero to a stable business now. But last year i decided to work and finally let her manage her own business that she took it bitterly. But i got sick and she didn’t actually offer any financial help, i couldn’t just stay at home asked her all the time for money for my medications. I worked again. Ever since i started working her bf treated me so cold and he looks at me with mockery. He even told me "separate your life”. Do i deserve to be treated this way? We live in the same house; her bf comes in the country to visit her almost every month.Would it be so bad if i leave them now and try to build my future, live my life the way i want it?i packed my dreams for almost 3 years to give way to my family...
2007-09-04 18:11:43 · 15 answers · asked by Cassenav 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
im not saying i will be leaving them totally or disown them.we're still single in the family all four girls.grown ups too.when do you say it's time to move on?is it the right time now to move on and get a life you preferred?sorry for the long info...im confused and at lost.
2007-09-04 18:16:07 · update #1
From the sounds of things, it is time for you to move on my friend. Sounds like it is also time to let go, and let your sister take charge of her own life, otherwise, when will she learn to stand on her own, if you are there to always help. You did your part, they are probably upset because now they are forced to live reality, and the reality is, you have your own life to lead too. It is selfish for them not to understand that. Who will take care of you better than you can. I have siblings too, we are all grown, I'm the oldest and well, I had to learn to let go too. We can't save them from everything you know. They have to learn how to fend for themselves, otherwise, God forbid, if something happened to us, we'd have only help them cripple themselves, we can help, but we need to learn to let go as well. Go and live your life, you deserve a bit of happiness too. You've done enough. I say move on and find your happiness, let your family find their way, guide them, but let them lead their own way. Hope all turns out well for you. Prayers and thoughts are with you.
2007-09-04 19:50:40 · answer #1 · answered by Admeta 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Their attitude is that you are their slave.
They are used to using you.
You helped them but it is not a reciprocal relationship.
Yes, get out of there. Establish your own life.
Listen... you need to get a little something down. There are FRIENDS and there are ACQUAINTANCES... even within family groups.
Acquaintances only call you when they want something... bring a present to a birthday party, or come when they call. These people are "users" at best. They typically don't care about you or anything going on in your life. You always wonder where you stand with these people until you put 2 + 2 together.
Friends are different. They are there for you, usually share common interests, offer a shoulder to cry on, cheer you on, and want the best for you.
At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with. That alone will make your life better.
2007-09-05 01:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound young and single. The best time in life to go on an adventure. Save up 1500$ maybe, enough to pay for your first month's rent and expenses. Then go live in a new world.
My brother was in college and couldn't get anymore loans. Then he found out he would have to wait a year and a half before his classes he needed to graduate would be available again. So he decided what the hell. He was living in a studio apartment at the time and had a small nissan sentra.
He packed as much as he could into his sentra. Set out on the road and didn't stop until he got to Orlando Florida. Got another studio aprtment there and at first worked at Universal Studios as an actor on one of the rides. He got laid off from there and then started Walmart. Now he is a Walmart manager. The world is your dream!
(we are all still on good speaking terms)
2007-09-05 18:16:38 · answer #3 · answered by joezen777 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move out and get a life of your own. They treat you like you own them something. Their adults and so are you. The only person your responsible to is yourself. They weren't supportive of you when you were ill. It doesn't sound like a two way street. it sounds like your doing all the compromising and giving. There are no do overs in life make the most of yours and let them live theres. She'll be mad because she wants you to pay have the rent. HER bf is right separate your life...Go and follow your dreams and don't let people hold you back. I've seen that in lot of families. Siblings just mistreating the other and expecting them to take it. They are probably not sharing the profits of the business you helped create...MOVE ON .
2007-09-05 01:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by Carolina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there r times when u have to do what is best for u... u have done all u can for ur family and then some... it is time to live ur life, i am sure ur aunt is just upset that u r leaving and u need to talk to her about that... maybe she thought u were happy there n that u weren't planning on leaving her... tell her u need to try n make it on ur own but that u will always need her love, n she can count on u if she ever needs ur help every now and then.
as far as her bf is concerned, he shouldn't get in the middle of it n it's none of his business but he is probably reacting to what ur aunt is feeling... talk to ur aunt, make her realize it is time to let u go, thank her for doing a wonderful job of raising u so well but it is time to allow u to be the independent woman that she prepared u to become... n that u desperately want to be.
God bless u, may He provide all ur needs on the new chapter in ur life...
2007-09-12 01:16:26 · answer #5 · answered by Ivy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you have done your part, now its your turn for life. Get out of that house and start to live your dreams, fill your heart with joy, life is a one chance deal you must make the best of it this time, you will not get another life to live. grab all your dreams and make something for yourself. Make sure to stop and smell the roses,life is wonderful and you have a lot of life left, take it and run with it! I hope all your dreams come true, good luck to you.
2007-09-09 23:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by Hopeful 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would love to have you as a sister. You sound like an intelligent and energetic person. There doesn't seem to be any reason you should not take care of yourself for a change. If you stay where you are, you will never have a life of your own.
2007-09-09 16:11:22 · answer #7 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go. You have your own life to live, and they should understand more than anyone how hard that's going to be since they had to go through it themselves. The only difference that I see in this situation is that they aren't willing to return the favor. Tell them how you feel, and try to work it out, but if they can't accept it than that's their problem. Either way I think that you should go no matter what.
2007-09-11 06:09:52 · answer #8 · answered by koneko_bombay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now. It is time for you to move on.
Go ahead and pursue your dreams. You are entitled. You sister has her boyfriend and that business is theirs and their responsibility.
Go ahead and work on establishing yourself. It will all work out in the end. No one can begrudge you a life and future.
Good luck.
2007-09-08 23:40:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to move on when YOU wake up in life and Realize people or out to get whats best for them . Did you mom not tell you that ?
Im here in Florida can you be my girl I well take care of you ok ?
2007-09-07 17:20:05 · answer #10 · answered by samb2468 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋