Since young, my father-in-law has never fufilled his duty as a father to my husband. He doesnt work to support the family and always asks my mother-in-law for money. My mother-in-law brought up my husband by working as a sweeper and with help from social workers. When I married my husband, my father-in-law did not help pay a single cent. Our son is already 2 months old and he has never helped at all. Not even when we had difficulty paying my son's hospital bills (Jaundice). He has a stall in a hawker centre which he rents out for a few hundred dollars a month and he keeps all the money for himself and always ask my mother-in-law for money to buy beer. He has only seen my baby once and since then I refuse to let him see my baby again because I think that he is not fit to be my baby's grandpa. Do you think I am being cruel, selfish or unreasonable? Because my mother-in-law think so.
2007-09-04 18:07:28 · 7 answers · asked by serene 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, how does your husband feel about you not wanting the baby around the grandpa? What matters is that you and your husband talk things out and you both decide what is best in this situation. It is his father, so include your husband in the decisions you make regarding the baby. On the other hand, if the grandpa is interested in being around the baby, you and your husband can make out rules on the kind of environment you want your baby in, you can supervise the visits, and both you and your husband should talk to the grandpa and let him know how you feel about him being around the baby, and explain what you'd be willing to do to allow him to visit the baby, if he is willing to respect your decisions, then you should work with him and see how things turn out. It is the babys right to get to know his family, you can give that to the baby by allowing the grandpa around on you and your husbands terms.
2007-09-04 20:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by Admeta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, u are in a tuff place i must admit. but, i do think that u are doing the right thing. my father was that way for a long time. he would go out get high or drunk, and wont come home til 1 or 2. thankfully he got out of that stage, and went on to better things. hopefully that will happen to ur father-in-law, cuz i wouldnt want my child around a person like that. cuz sorry lazy and dead-beat people,have a huge effect on decent people. tho ur child is only 2months, think of maybe wen he or she is 2years old, or maybe 4years old, etc. The first couple years of a childs life are the most important, dont let some one who is unresposible, take away there inocents. you are doing the right thing.and for ur mother-in-law, u can tell her that this is ur child, not hers. u make the decision. she doesnt. i hope i have helped. and plz email me, if u need to.
2007-09-05 01:23:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a family, there shouldn't be a "an tooth for an tooth" relationship. Do you even wonder, regardless of how your father-in-law treated his wife, did your mother-in-law choose to leave him? In fact, she think you are being cruel and unreasonable for not allow the grandpa to see your baby.
Everyone have some problems in their family. And I believe it's worth to work towards a harmony, instead of adding misery, resentment into a family.
2007-09-05 02:55:31 · answer #3 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this jerk actually care? Has he ever said anything?
I mean, really. He is a human paperweight... just taking up space on the earth. The less time spent in his company, the better.
Your MIL needs to cut him off. She's paying all the bills anyway, so one less mouth to feed (and clean up after) would be a real relief for her.
2007-09-05 01:15:02 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what is right when it comes to parenting your new-born. Give in to your mother-in-law's request and your father-in-law will soon be requesting cash from you or husband also. Don't allow his bad behavior to invade your home if peace dwells there currently.
2007-09-05 01:24:57 · answer #5 · answered by kirkman782002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya, a little bit...
But no matter what, ur father in law forever is ur husband, so u cannot refuse to let him see his grandson...
You can say he cannot see his grandson often, but u cannot stop his wish to see his grandson...
Set a time, but cannot stop his wish...
No matter what, he is ur husband father...
Please respect him as he is ur father in law...
Wish ur family will get a happy wonderful life...
Cheers...
2007-09-05 01:20:00 · answer #6 · answered by WindWalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i think you are being very fear cause if he cared for his grand child that much he would stop being so selfish help you's out and ot me it sounds like he is am alcoholic so i wouldn't bring my child aroung him if i wa s you
2007-09-05 01:16:38 · answer #7 · answered by tjsacuttie224 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋