It seems that I have more bad memories than good. No matter what I do to keep myself busy, they haunt me relentlessly. I can't seem to shake them. (Dysfunctional family, toxic friends, destructive relationships and betrayals). I have a few good friends in my life now, but that can't erase all that happened to me. If I went under hypnosis to lose all my memory, I will lose what I may need to remember. I want to move out of state and start over. I am still living in the same place I grew up in. A change of scenery will help. But that takes time and $. I am right in the middle of school. Any suggestions?
2007-09-04 18:07:16 · 10 answers · asked by LAgirl 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
From experience, you can't out run the bad memories no matter how hard you try. What you can do is exactly what you are doing now. Surround yourself with good; good friends, good work, good vibes all around. Do not let those who choose to lead troubled lives be a part of your life whether they are family or old friends.
The other, and harder, thing to do is to face those "bad memories" head on. Challenge them (yourself) to look at those memoreis and tear them apart piece by piece until you can 1)understand what you actually gained from them (and yes, you gained something from them believe it or not); and 2)you can put them to rest.
Memories are a part of us, the good and the bad. The trials and challenges that we endure in our lifetimes make us the people we are today, good or bad. If you suffered horrible pains in the past....what kind of person are you today? Are you more understanding of others? Are you kinder, more loving, more forgiving, sweeter.....or has your heart harden and become callused to the challenges that others face. Do you like who you are today? Our expreinces shape us. If you want to reshape yourself into a better person then you move yourself away from the bad which helped to create the person you've become, and maybe don't like.
I know, it sounds hokey and easier said than done. But honestly I am speaking from first hand expereince.
I was molested two different times at ages 11 and 13 over several months and years both times. Two seperate men. I was cheated on, mentally abused as a young adult. I was hit by a man as a middle twenties adult. My "friends" were all in chaotic lives of which I involved myself, thus leading to other chaotic confrontations. I was hurt and broken over and over again. I didn't trust. I hurt constantly with no relief in sight at all. I was terribly depressed and suicidal. I drank to sleep and to become numb and forget. I tried running from the "bad memories". it didn't work. The harder I tried, the worse it and I became. When I thought I just couldn't take anymore and that I was either going to kill myself or commit myself, I screamed loudly for help.
I was lucky. My mother saw that she was about to lose me in one way or the other and she got me into a good counselor. And I was more than ready for it. I made the choice to turn around from running "away" from my "bad memories" and hurt and chose to face my demons head on.
Tooday I have been married ten years to a wonderful man whom I don't have to fight with every day and deal with constant drama. I have two beautiful daughters. I have positive friends around me who care about me and support me through anything. I don't have to drink myself into oblivion anymore. I don't have to run anymore. I am at peace with my "bad memories". For the most part I can look back on them now and see that without them I wouldn't be me today; someone who loves and is loved.
Hugs to you
2007-09-04 18:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by EvArtD 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well what helps some people would be to try to think of the good things in the situation. Like you are no longer there. Being thankful you are not in the same life and you are starting over. Moving will not change things as much as you might think. Remember the signs of the bad things so you do not go into the same area. Just hope the best for the people and make better ones.
2007-09-04 18:23:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to get the negative energy out of these painful memories, but be able to re-file them as experience, rather than have them affect you in a bad way. This is done by Dianetics auditing (auditing is to apply the techniques and listen to the person). It can address those painful incidents and give you relief from the unwanted feelings/emotions.
You can read about it on www.dianetics.org or get the book Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health.
It will explain about the reactive mind--the part of the mind that stores painful incidents and then uses them against you later and gives the techniques for handling them without drugs or hypnosis.
I have given dianetics auditing and I have seen others get it and get very good results and be happier.
Take care and feel better.
2007-09-04 20:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by concorde315 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One it's a myth that hypnosis can erase memories. It can mess wtih them if you allow someone to do it, but later they always resurface.
You can NEVER outrun your memories. Memories keep bothering us until we pay attention to them. Resolve the pain they are causing and have caused. Own them, grieve our pasts. Create better, positive life's for ourselves.
Moving will solve very little. You can change your environment, but you will still have all those memories and only resolving them, putting them to rest by grieving the pain events in your life have caused. Changing what is possible to change such as if drinking is a problem you stop drinking. If family and thepeople in your life are not good. Look at what is bad in those relationship. Then look at what it is you want in friendships. Then be careful, ever so careful with whom you make as friends. Stay away from wild people. They can be fun, but they are seldom going to make quality friends.
Again, I promise you taht you can't out run, move away from your life and get ride of memories. You have to walk into those memories, feel them in full, resolve things you can, then grieve what you can't resolve or change and then make much better choices as you are able to.
Change is hard and overcoming dysfunctional pasts takes a lot of personal effort.
GOOD LUCK and hope things begin to improve.
2007-09-04 22:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by Mountain Bear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"To speak of a secret - cuts its strength in half"
This I learned from a caring counselor.
Maybe you do not have money to pay for counseling, but you would do well to have an adult female to speak of these things with. Someone who can keep your confidence.
Often in a church, there are older women who will "disciple" or "mentor" younger women. Ask around. Sometimes a caring teacher at school will be willing to spend afterschool time with you and others.
Until you connect with a "mentor", set aside one of your notebooks for "journaling" writing under each category of your memories can be theraputic. (Limit yourself to no more than an hour a day on this to keep from depressing yourself)
2007-09-04 18:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by Hope 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
finish school ,and then move on .you sound alittle like my life death ,money problems ,behavior family member s always something negative ,I think we need to work hard to remove our self from all the negative ,I wish us both luck
2007-09-04 18:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by Holly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check out www.stresscenter.com
WONDERFUL program that I cannot speak highly enough. It addresses so many issues and teaches you skills that you can use throughout your entire life!
2007-09-04 18:32:22 · answer #7 · answered by Rae K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lacuna, Inc
2007-09-04 18:24:37 · answer #8 · answered by noXizTenC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By making new happy ones =)
2007-09-04 18:15:18 · answer #9 · answered by Glamourous_Girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a councelor
2007-09-04 18:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋