OK, well me and my husband are going through a divorce. We have a 4 month old daughter. He just recently had another baby in july. I told him when we first separated that he could sign his rights over to me at anytime. Now that he has 2 children to support (which i havent seen a penny since he has left, but my laywers taking care of that right now) he wants to sign the right of our daughter over. I concider it bc he has lots of drama in his life and cant keep a job, what makes me think he will be a good parent. So should I let him sign his rights over?
2007-09-04 17:38:09 · 19 answers · asked by amber 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Here is another thing to consider. If something happens to you and he has NOT signed over his rights, your ex would automatically get custody of your daughter. In my case I would have been THRILLED to have my ex offer to sign away his rights, but then now that my son is a teenager, and has this nifty fantasy that his dad will be the knight in shining armor who will never make him do homework or chores, I wouldn't have been able to let him go there for a year and find out that real life lives at dads house too, and YES he has to do homework and chores! Which has helped immensely with behavior issues and other stuff. So there are lots of issues that you have to consider. Both now and in the future. I have found that somewhere in the past 10 years, my ex has found a level of maturity and may actually be a decent parent after all. But my own dad still hasn't matured and can't even handle being a grandparent, so it is so hard to say what the future holds.
Like everyone has said, talk in depth with a lawyer, but also consult with someone such as a trusted family member who is not too close to either yourself or your ex, or maybe even a counselor to make sure you are thinking the whole thing through.
2007-09-04 18:36:43 · answer #1 · answered by Payne12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to part of her life than that is his loss and if you really want to sign over rights than I would see a lawyer but know that if he does you will not get a penny of child support ever again and your child has a right to that money. Even if you don't need the money you could always take that money and put it in a savings account for when she gets older or use it for school. Also, if you need to think about your daughters future if he disapears from her life she may wonder about him and want to know who he is when she gets older. Also, I can't speak for him because I don't know him but I have seen a lot of guys who don't have it together but when they are with their kids they are great parents so maybe give it a few years and collect child support and if after that time he has nothing to do with her then so what just collect his money for her and if he does change his mind and gets his act together then good for your daughter because then she gets to have both her parents in her life.
2007-09-04 18:36:13 · answer #2 · answered by Vikki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should you? You'd be crazy not too. I mean, if he's willing to sign his rights away from being a father--do you really want your daughter around him anyway? I know men that would rather die then lose their right to be a father. I would just check with your lawyers first so that you know any legal implications first...such as he wouldn't be required to pay child support and those types of things. Also, you may just be able to have a judge give you full legal custody of your daughter and no visitation rights or custody for you ex. That might serve your purpose. He might be thinking that if he signs his rights over, then he won't have to pay. So, I'd be careful with that. Good luck chicky!
2007-09-04 17:48:29 · answer #3 · answered by Missy B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What is best for the child. If he is a dead beat dad and you no you will probably never see him or any of his money don't bother.
My daughters father is suppose to pay me $7 a month and i have never seen a penny and the only time he contacts me is to ask for money and not evan ask about his daughter so i have no concern that he is one day going to fight me for custody rights.
On the other hand if you believe he may one day change his mind and wont custody of some sort and he is untrustworthy it may be worth taking him up on his offer now and letting him sign over his custody rights.
As far as i know you don't have to have a 'new father' lined up a friend of mine has just obtained full custody of her child leaving the father with no custodial rights at all and she is single.
I really believe you need to look at whats best for your child and what your lawyer believes is the best thing to do.
Good luck and stay strong and true to yourself and your child.
2007-09-04 17:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by smile666 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm going through the same thing right now. My ex is going to sign off his rights this month, and that's fine with me. He's not "father material", but I'm a very good mom. Our son is 3 and he's only seen him about 6 times, and I've only seen about $100 in child support. I would rather raise my son the right way than have a deadbeat, lazy father with his priorities all screwed up corrupting my boy. If he wants to sign off his rights, let him. That just shows that he won't be a good father right there.
2007-09-04 17:50:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My problem with this whole thing is the child is only 4 months old with no father...there is no way you have found someone to take over the role of being an adoptive father in 4 months - that is a huge role that both myself and my wife have taken with each others kids and is not to be taken lightly....I think a temporary financial setback is causing his irrational decision and you should give it time...he can always do it in the future but once it is done it is never 'undone'...best of luck to you...
2007-09-04 17:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by createaclick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mominohio is correct. He cannot sign away his rights to you. You have parental rights and so does he. He can let you have full custody so you have control of visitation and other things for the child. To terminate rights it takes a judge to agree to it in court. And most courts won't agree because what if you end up needing food stamps or welfare or medical assistance, the state has to have someone to go for child support. Plus they believe every child needs a legal father even if he's not a good one.
2007-09-05 02:47:23 · answer #7 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That depends on whether you are prepared to financially support your child by yourself until your child becomes an adult.
I personally would not let him sign his rights over. He was an adult when he chose to have sex with you and make this child. If he is not going to be a parent emotionally then he should at least be a parent financially.
Good luck!
2007-09-04 17:51:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Legally, he can't. A court is never going to allow him to sign over his rights just because of the financial burden - he made the child(ren) he pays for them, period. It is not something you should have offered without knowing the law.
He can not sign his right over unless a) you were putting the child up for adoption or b) you are remarried and your husband wants to legally adopt her.
2007-09-04 18:04:52 · answer #9 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not really up to you if he do it. he can go and see a judge at anytime he want to sign over his right. and if he do that it will be just like he never even had a child. he would not have to take care of the baby you wouldnt have to let him see the baby or keep the baby he wouldnt have a say in anything cocerning the baby.
2007-09-04 18:16:51 · answer #10 · answered by blueprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋