we have been off and on for 5 years (mostly on and dont council me on this cause its not part of my question). and we love eachother very much. i am a logical thinker, think things threw and make good decisions. im in college and in 2 years ill have my architecture degree. my parents are SUPER strict and dont let me stay out to late and call a billion times . im 21. i live in there house and cant move out till i graduate. (we've all decided). i love and respect them and care sooo much about what they have to say. for some reason they dont like my bf. he comes over a few times a week ad we go out. its a normal relationship until u figure out that they DONT KNOW ABOUT IT. they can't be stupid. they MUST know but ive never flat out told them. he does come over and call me beautiful and acts a litte affectionate towards me so they MUST KNoW. once i tried to tell them and they said they would lock me up if they had to cause there is no way i was going to end up with him.
2007-09-04 17:33:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i know they dont like him cause he just works at target and he doesn't go to school. but he IS enrolled for the next semester soooo thats great for him!!i love him and he loves me . hes the one i want to marry but what can i do about my parents? this is there house and i have to respect them but how do i still keep my boyfriend? it sounds stupid but we come from an extreamly tight family and i would hate to dissapoint them. i realize theya re trying to protect me...but i love him. i want them to accept that. how do i tell them hes my boyfriend without disrespecting them? and if they get upset and dont let me see him how do i handle that situation? because i wont stop seeing him...so how do i remain respectful??? please help me
2007-09-04 17:36:09 · update #1
Well.. First. You have to sit them down and tell them how you feel.. You are a grwon woman and they will have to respect your feelings
2007-09-04 17:38:32 · answer #1 · answered by BigWashSr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to say something you won't like, but you're old enough to understand it. You are on the verge of entering a profession which has high intellectual standards and yet you are tied emotionally to a man who is "beneath" your level. You will be growing intellectually and financially and psychologically. He will remain behind. You began this relationship when you were 16, and now you are getting grown. You need to grow in your relationships. Your parents see this. If you do not see this you are asking for many years of small and nagging problems. "Love" does not conquer all. You should make up your mind to seek an alternative. First, set out to distance yourself from this young man. Next, assure your parents that you are exploring alternatives. At the same time, demand from them respect for your mature choices. If you are paying your own way in college, you have the right to tell your parents that they cannot dictate everything about what you do, and that while you respect ther views, the time for you to be treated as an adult is at hand. If, however, they are paying for your college, the old saying, "He who pays the piper calls the tune" comes into play. Use your logic in this situation.
2007-09-04 17:47:44 · answer #2 · answered by BRUCE G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 21 years old and cant tell your parents you are dating someone? He "only works at target". Well, my bf only cleans cars and makes $9.25 an hour but he is still a wonderful man and treats me like a queen. They cant lock you up. You are an ADULT. Move out..live with your guy. I would never let my parents tell me who I could or couldnt date or who was good enough for me. What kind of parents are they anyway..no offence or nothing but parents are supposed to love you unconditionally and support you in all you do. I would suggest you all going to family counceling and tell them respectfully to back off. Its great that you respect your parents but they need to respect you too, and your boyfriend. Live your life and continue lovin your guy
2007-09-04 17:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by Samantha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your own decision because you are 21 and an adult. You have to tell your parents that you can have a boyfriend and be great at school.... and prove it to them by the grades if you have to. I know it sucks when you care for this man so much and your parents opinion matter a lot.... but if you want to marry him and love him.... will you let your parents stop you? They will have to accept it in time.
2007-09-04 17:40:35 · answer #4 · answered by *Love* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the only way to go about this is tell your parents truthfully about your relationship because if you plan to marry this man, how will it look to your parents if you kept them in the dark about your relationship? It may make them doubt the seriousness of the relationship, or the commitment, or they may think your ashamed of him.
If they don't approve (which they probably will from what you said), remain steadfast in your decision. Make sure you remain calm the whole time. This is will also help you gain some independence from your parents which is good :)
Hopefully everything will be alright and won't turn ugly. Good luck!
2007-09-04 17:43:09 · answer #5 · answered by angel_sierra16 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should sit down with your parents and tell them "i need to talk to you about something important." let em know that you love em. apologize for not respecting them but let em know you don't feel like they are respecting your opinions.explain that's why you went ahead (if it's true) ask why they don't approve & if they bring up Target-tell them he is being responsible by having a job but isn't gonna work there forever (nicely check that first). let em know why your guy is so cool- i love him cause... (don't list loving him as why he's cool).
btw don't rush the marriage thing cause if you are just bringing your relationship out of the shadows then marriage is gonna be a crazy idea to your parents.
p.s. whizball said God Bless but the Bible says to respect your parents. just thought you should know.
2007-09-04 17:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by guitars_r_sweet_like_me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U may start by hinting to ur parents that they meet ur boyfriend over a cup of coffee. Ask ur boyfriend to chalk out his career priorties and backup options. If ur parents get a slight feel that he is genuine, it shall be a battle half won.I would, as ur mother, would have asked u to delay the marriage decision until ur bf gets a job n house in that order.
2007-09-04 17:46:04 · answer #7 · answered by swati_chhavi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are 21 yrs old. WOW. its not about you disrespecting your parents. your parents will control every aspect of your life until you grow up and demand that they respect you as a young adult. you will make many mistakes as you live in this thing called life. but you are acting like a child so therefore they are treating like one. you have already answered your question. you will never disrespect your parents so therefore bf must go. GodBless
2007-09-04 17:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i really feel your pain.. i wish it didnt have to be so hard for you... problem is by the sounds of it you are going to upset them no matter what if you stay with him, but that is their own problem, they cant be that heartless to expect you to let go of him if you love him.
Just make sure you love him for the right reasons, i would move out as soon as i was graduated and start a life with him if that is what you really want, and yes you will upset your parents, just make sure that he is worth it
goodluck, follow your heart
2007-09-04 17:42:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really feel for you, especially since i am going through the same situation... i think that it's great you have a close relationship with your family... which is why you should consider talking to them bout how you feel... they are only strict because they love you and i have the feeling that if you explain the situation to them, they would only want you to be happy... you won't know unless you speak to them, you might be pleasantly suprised...
2007-09-04 17:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your parents dont have to like him. ur 21 u gotta live ur own life. ur parents may be upset at first but theyll get over it as soon as they see how good he treats u and how happy he makes u. in the end they just wanna see that you will be ok.
2007-09-04 17:39:20 · answer #11 · answered by spkez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋