Bridesmaids and Groomsmen?

Question

This is going to be a silly question, but I don't know much about weddings and I'm currently planning my own. Are you supposed to have the same amount of bridesmaids as you do groomsmen? Or does it just look nicer if you do?
Also are there any other traditions at weddings I should be aware of? I really don't know too much and I have just the bare basics. Like how long should it go on? How does the typical wedding go? Who walks down the aisle first, etc? Really, a "rough draft" of how a typical wedding goes would be awesome. Thanks!

Our wedding is going to be a formal wedding, however, we're both atheist, so we won't have any religious things to complete/do/say.

Answer 1

There is more to answer than should be answered here. Your best bet would be to go to www.theknot.com and sign up and just read as much as possible! It's truly one of the most inclusive and informative sites available.

1. No you can have the numbers uneven on either side of the aisle. Many have it even because they like the way it looks.

2. Wedding ceremonies can be as short as 15-20 minutes or as long as 90 minutes. It all depends upon what type of ceremony you wish, where you want it (church, courthouse, beach, backyard, etc.) and who is performing it.

Receptions likewise can be as short or as long as you want. Most venues for an evening reception will have the hall available for 5-6 hours. Some afternoon receptions can be as short as 3-4 hours. Depends on what you want.

3. The usual lineup on the bridal side is bridesmaids, then Maid/matron of honor, flower girls and/or ring bearers, followed by the bride and her escort. You can choose to have the groomsmen escort the maids down the aisle or not, they could all stand at the front with the groom, best man and officiant.

Typical wedding would be (rough outline):
Ceremony
Pictures
Reception: cocktails/entrance
first dance or dinner (interchangeable)
toasts (prior to dinner)
dinner/first dance (see above)
special dances (father/daughter, mother/son, etc.)
cake cutting (could be earlier if being served as dessert)
dancing and socializing
bouquet and garter tosses
dancing
leave for wedding night accomodations

Again, try theknot.com or brides.com for further guidance. You can email if you want further info.

Good Luck and don't sweat it - it's fun and easy, trust me!

Answer 2

even sides isn't a must, and doesn't necessarily look nicer either. Having a bridal party is having the people you love most join you on your special day along with your family and friends.

Another wedding tradition that is in common practice is for the bride to wear something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Other traditions that you can incorporate is having people blow bubbles or throw something on you (it used to be rice but now that's banned from almost every facility). This was to "cleanse the path for the new marriage" back in olden days when it got started.

As for the ceremony it can be as long or as short as you want. I've been to 1 hour masses where they light the unity candle and blow out the candles of their single lives. Then I've been to weddings that are five minutes exchanging vows and that's it. So it's up to you how long you want your ceremony. Traditionally when walking up for the ceremony if you have an usher than he will escort the bride's mother first, though sometimes she just walks alone and takes her seat. Then the Groom's parents follow. Then the groom, best man, and groomsmen. Then the bridesmaids, and it can be moh then other bridesmaids or moh can go last. Then the father of the bride escorts the bride down and gives permission for the groom to marry her and takes his seat next to your mom. When standing at the alter you and your groom will be in the middle on your side your moh is usually right next to you then the other bridesmaids are behind the moh. On the grooms side the best man is beside the groom and then the other groomsmen. If you have a ring bearer and flower girl they usually come between the groomsmen and that bridesmaids, the ring bearer first and will stand at the alter with the men, and the flower girl will stand at the alter with the women and walk up before the bridesmaids. I've also seen it done where the ring bearer follows up the groomsmen and then the flower girl lays down petals just before the bride walks down.

As for the reception there is no typical reception. The things that are traditionally done at receptions are having a head table for the wedding party. You have a receiving line either after the ceremony or before the reception to thank people for coming and welcome them to your celebration (although this is completely optional). Then you will cut the cake together and each person feeds a piece of the cake to the other person at the same time. You will have your first dance as a married couple, the father-daughter dance, and usually the mother-son dance, or sometimes the mother-son dance is with the father-daugter dance. There is the bouquet toss and garter toss for the bachelors and bachelorettes at the wedding, and there is a champagne (usually) toast before the cake by the bestman, and sometimes another toast by the moh or another person like father of the bride etc. Really the rest of the reception is up to you, and everything is optional, but this is the traditional things to include. Best wishes to you and your fiance and happy wedding planning!

Answer 3

No, the bridal party does not need to be even. You should pick the people you're closest to, and your fiance should pick theirs. If you pick 3 people and your fiance picks 4, that's fine ... one lucky lady gets two escorts. It looks fine in photos, plenty of couples do it, and it is not a big deal at all.

Think about it ... is there really a point to an even bridal party? Unless you just happen to pick an even amount of people, having an even bridal party often means that you either need to leave someone out, or drum up an extra person to fill an empty slot. And what's the sense of that? The bridal party is supposed to consist of your cloest friends - it makes no sense to either exclude a good friend, or treat an "inferior" friend as an understudy, just for the sake of having even numbers. Just pick who you want and forget about the numbers.

The length of the ceremony will depend on who's running the show. If you've decided on a religious ceremony, consult your spiritual advisor on how long the ceremony will be and what it'll consist of. If you're writing your own ceremony, or are using a secular officiant, it's entirely up to you. It can run anywhere from 5-40 minutes long, depending on the amount of songs and readings you have and the length of your vows. Talk to your officiant and your fiance, and get an idea of what you want.

The processional will again depend on where it's held. In most Christian ceremonies I've seen, the grandparents are seated first, then the mother of the groom, then the mother of the bride. The bridal party then comes down the aisle (sometimes they pair up, or sometimes the groomsmen wait up front and the bridesmaids come down solo), and the Maid of Honor (and possibly Best Man) come down last. Any flower girls or ring bearers usually come next, then finally the bride and any escort(s) she has. In Jewish weddings, the bride and groom are traditionally escorted down the aisle by both of their parents.

But remember this ... all you NEED to be married is your fiance, the license, an officiant and your state's approppriate number of witnesses. Beyond that, everything else is up to you. There aren't any hard and fast rules, other than making sure your guests are comfortable. So talk to your fiance, decide what you want and go from there.

Don't feel like you "have" to do certain things, because there is no Wedding Police that'll come and get you if you have an uneven bridal party, or if you wear a green gown, or if your mother walks down the aisle first, or if you want to serve sushi instead of steak for dinner. Your wedding is whatever you want it to be.

Answer 4

This is your wedding, not a Broadway musical. If your male and female attendents don't match up like pairs of bookends, it's OK. If going up and down the aisle 2 by 2 isn't possible, there is nothing wrong with taking that walk alone, or 3 abreast.

I suggest that you get to the library and start reading (or arranging inter-library loan of) Miss Manners and Emily Post. Advice from "The Wedding Industry", like Modern Bride Magazine or TheKnot.com, is more about getting you to buy stuff than about what is actually usual and customary -- take such advice with several very large grains of salt.

Any advice along the lines of "this is YOUR day and you should have everything YOUR way" should be firmly ignored. As with any big family party, you have a great deal of responsibility to your guests and to your family. Do not treat your wedding as an opportunity to wallow in an orgy of self indulgence. That is what the honeymoon is for.

Answer 5

Best wishes to you on your wedding! I'm getting married September 6, 2008 myself! My director told me that the bridal party should be lined up according to the importance to you for your bridesmaid and importance to the groom for the groomsmen. So of course the Maid or Matron of Honor would be standing closest to you and the least import bridesmaid the furthest from you. Same on the grooms side for the groomsmen, Best Man stands closest to him and least import groomsmen furthest from him. Thankfully mine is done by importance to me for my bridesmaids and they match height wise as well. If you are getting married somewhere that there are steps on either side you could always have them standing on the steps to help with the height look. But even if they aren't in order by height that's ok...it's your wedding day so do what you see fit! I hope your day is a beautiful one!

Answer 6

I am having 2 brides maid and 2 groomsman, but then our two youngest children 8, and 9 will be junior bridesmaids with no escort.
It is however you want to do it. Go to davids bridal.com and there is a set up you can use now and dress your wedding party. You can see what it will look like with them standing there.
You can have less than the other but you may have to do it a little different standing ways.
bride groom
maid of honor best man
groomsman bridesmaid
bridesmaid bridesmaid
flowergirl ring bearer

That is only a rough draft. I will be glad to help you if you want. Email me. [e-mail]
I will try to get you a rough draft to help you out.

Answer 7

Depends on the formality of the wedding. A casual simple wedding could take 15 minutes, a church wedding takes about an hour.

Check out the free downloadable planning worksheets below for more.

Answer 8

Congratulations
try www.theknot.com theres tons of helpful info there.
Traditionally theres equal number bridemaids and grooms men. Most couple have a ring berer and flower girl. The maid of honor and best man walk first followed by the other attendants. The length of the ceremony depends upon you. Your clergy can help explain that. the ceremony usually consists of the walking, the vows, the kiss and anything special you want to add. Castholic ceremonies can sometime have a mass which is a very long ceremony. Afterwards you can have a receiving line if you wish and the guests proceed to the reception which usually last a couple hours with a toast, cake cutting, food/cake, tossing of bouquet and sometimes dancing. Your wedding is what you want to to be.
A really good book to have is "the everything wedding book" its really helpful

Answer 9

Yes, you should have the same amount of bridesmaids and groomsmen because you couple them off to go down the isle. This is how my brother's wedding went:
Flower girl
3 couples of bridesmaids and groomsmen
the maid of honor and the bestman
then the bride

His wedding was probably only an hour long, but I think that depends on what type of priest you have (like what religion).

Answer 10

You don't have to have the same number of bride's maids and groom's men. A lot of people do just so they have even numbers and so it "looks better," but you don't *have* to if you don't want to. You don't have to walk up/down the aisle in pairs (they can walk single file) so really, it's not a big deal.