Am I really that bad? PLEASE HELP?

Question

From my family's perspective I am a lazy, mean, angry *****.
I never clean up, I can't seem to respect anyone.

From my side I am always really tired so I don't do any chores.
My mom is a neat freak that has too much energy and always wants to clean up. I went to the doctor about my fatigue and was told to take to take multi-vitimans (never given to me).
I am a easily angered person and don't take well to authority.

At the moment our house caught fire and we're in seperate hotel rooms, my mom comes in every moment to criticize the room when seriously it aint that bad.

She is claiming she is going to send me to live with my grandma before I go to college (Sending me to Hell basically). Do I sound that bad, I feel more than unappreciated and can't stand to be around my family any more.

Please don't come to bash me, I got plenty of beating as a child and am not close to being "spoiled". Even under the threat of getting my *** beatin I'm still a *****.

Am I that bad?

Answer 1

Live on your own for a while, supporting yourself, and you will soon learn whether you are bad or good.

Answer 2

No, you're not that bad. But your mom has been under a lot of stress I'd say (esp with the house fire) and I'm sure your attitude isn't helping. As a mom you have to be on top of things all the time. I am always tired, but I stay up until nearly midnight getting all my chores done. I cook with my eyes half closed, I shop in a daze. It was all a big shock to me because I was so lazy at home - now I realise how much my mother did for me.

Your mom is trying to hold the family together, and you getting angry and mean and refusing to help just gives her more to cope with. On the other side though she shouldn't expect you to have the same standards as she does.

Show that you are making a little bit of effort. Do some chores, at least show that you do care about the family. It doesn't have to pass the white glove test but at least have a go. I'm sure if she sees a bit of a change your mom won't send you to grandma's.

I am really sorry you were beaten, that is child abuse and completely unacceptable regardless of the situation. I'm sure your life will be much, much happier at college where you can be exactly how you want to be.

Answer 3

Here it goes, I'll be head on with my answer. We basically have the same problem when I was younger. I never clean my room, i don't do any chores at home, and i don't respect my mom. My mom is more that a clean freak, she's also a control freak. But I tell you it's no excuse not to do some work just because you're "Tired". It's a matter of decision my dear. If you always consider yourself being tired, stressed out, over fatigue and etc... then that's how you'll feel.

Also you're not a bad person, it just comes with the age. How old are you anyways? I think you're still young because of this situation. But try to do even a little thing of what your mom asks you... Cut her some slack. Just try to do it one step at a time. :)

Answer 4

If you know what is bothering your mom then do something to make her happy. Even if she is a neat freak, if you at least attempt to clean something maybe she will get off your back. You say that you feel unappreciated but you haven't mentioned anything that you do. Do you help with bills, help with other siblings? Maybe your mom is feeling unappreciated too. If you are on your way to college ( congrats) maybe she is worried that you not have the skills to keep after yourself.
Your energy level is low. Try sleeping at least 8 hrs a night. The vitamins might help too. Try a multi vitamin. Also exercises might help. Maybe you need to sit down with your mom and talk. Then you 2 can come up with a plan with what needs to be done and how you feel.
As for not listening to authority, you might as well start to learn it now. Unless you become a CEO of something, you will always have to answer to someone. It is how life works. I am not saying that it is fun but that is how it goes.
Try seeing things from others point of view. Would you like yourself? Best of luck

Answer 5

yeah basically you are
about the multivitamins...go to the store and buy them. you don't need a prescription.

just because you don't have energy and your mother does doesn't mean she should be the only one doing everything. you're part of the family and you should be contributing to it. a lot of people get up and work 16 hour days five and six days a week. learn to know AND understand the difference between being tired (what are you doing that is making you so tired?) and not feeling like it (ie, being lazy).

another thing to consider about your mom and the hotel room: one, i'm quite sure they're paying for your room, so appreciate it. its not owed to you. two, did it occur to you that maybe she is acting that way because she is stressed, upset, scared as a result of their house burning down? that's pretty selfish given the situation

i reread your question again. in my opinion, you SHOULD feel under appreciated. what have YOU done to EARN it? from your answer, it seems nothing. respect isn't just something that is owed to you by everyone. its not just something you can get by being a *****. its something you have to work for. if you want people's respect, appreciation, whatever, you have to EARN it

it sounds like you're at that age when the sooner you learn that you aren't special, better, the center of the universe, or the princess of everything, the better off you'll be from here on out

Answer 6

Trust me, I've been your age and went through a similar experience. But just like me, your mother has been your age before. She understands you a lot more than you think. It's you that have not been through her experiences and are needing to grow up. She is trying to lead you in the right direction. You can't keep a job nor a man by being nasty, lazy, and angry. If no one can tell you anything then what's the point in saying anything to you. Learn ways to control your anger and learn how to take what is dished out to you. Trust me it will get better. I apologize if I sound as if I am bashing you, but I have learned from my past that it would have gone a lot smoother if I had just obeyed. If you keep your rook clean then your mother would not have to tell you to clean it up. Right? I don't think that she's bashing you as much as you think. Remember, you have an anger issue. Just try obedience for a while and see how it works. Smile, on purpose, even when your angry. You'd be surprised at how much it works.

Answer 7

2 BE HONEST U ARE JUST THAT BAD.
BUT I AM NOT 2 JUDGE U ON WHAT U ARE GOING THROUGH. ALL I CAN SAY IS THIS, I HAVE 6 KIDS WHICH 3 OF THEM ARE NOT LIVING IN MY HOME AND THEY ARE OLDER TOO, BUT THE ONES I DO HAVE AT HOME I STAY ON THEM ABOUT CHORES AND KEEPING THINGS AT LEAST DECENT AROUND THE HOUSE. IF U CAN JUST PICK UP HERE AND THERE SO UR MOM WILL LAY OFF U SOME.

AS FOR UR FATIGUE GET THE VITAMINS, THEY DO WORK!!! I TAKE THEM AS WELL FOR THE SAME THING.

NOW THE RUDENESS IS A DIFFERENT THING. DO U ALWAYS BE THIS WAY? MAYBE U SHOULD TRY COUNSELING AND SEE IF U CAN GET 2 THE BOTTOM OF UR ANGER.
I WISH U WELL ON ALL OF UR LIFE DECISION.

Answer 8

Well they wouldn't give you a multi-vitiman at the docs, you have to just buy one at the store. Thats what they recomended you to take. So just buy one, I would recomend Centrum energy, since thats your many complant. Now maybe you are not doing yourself justice since even from your point of veiw your coming off kinda bad. I really don't mean that as a harsh coment. I have a fatige problem I am on acctually medication for it so I understand having that problem but you cant just use that as your reason. So your not as neat as your mom but am sure if you at least try, do something unexpeted, make your bed, even if its the bed in the hotel room. Good luck.

Answer 9

Well personally I was told I have OCD-which everything has to be in order. But I also learned by seeing people that what I think is clean everyone sees as spotless. So, what I am getting at is everyone sees things differently. What your moms sees as dirty you see as clean. That's you and that's her. Sit her down(if you can) and try to explain this to her. You do not sound bad at all. It sounds like you have already had your share of life. You said you are going to college pretty soon,so you cant have too bad of a head on your shoulders. Wel good luck and keep your head up no matter how heavy it gets.

Answer 10

"Bad" isn't the right word. You, like many other children your age, have grown up expecting everything and give nothing in return. So, just imagine how that might really work in the real world once "you're in charge"? Everyone expecting someone else to do everything for them and too lazy to do anything for themselves or anyone else...how would that work?
It's time you start pulling your weight (and I'd suggest you'll need to do more than what you think is your weight as I'm certain what you currently think won't be enough).
This isn't a "bashing" as you said but, hopefully, a wake up call. No one owes you a living and you do owe respect to those who provide for you, teach you and look out for your welfare.
There are figures of authority we as a society have placed in those roles. Disrespect them and you run afoul of society, meaning you risk breaking laws and surrendering your freedoms.
I suggest you take stock of tomorrow, not just what suits you today...we don't need to add to our prison population...

Answer 11

You have to deal with your parents' rules while you are living in their house.
You at least have to clean up your own messes and maintain yourself. That means doing your own laundry, picking up your own room, and at least doing the chores that they have assigned to you. It doesn't take all that much to keep your parents off your back. It is a lot easier to do these few things than to resist them on it.
Just organize your time to kick these few little things out of day then you can go back to what you want to do. It is called "going with the flow".
Your mom is under a lot of stress because of being stuck in a hotel after a house fire. It will take a long time to get her world back to normal.
You only have a couple more years to go in your parents house. Make the best of it.
When you are out of your parents' house, you won't have to go back except to visit.