marriage that is...?? We have been dating for a year and a half...we have a wonderful relationship...we do live separately. All of my friends and family (and his) keep asking me when we are getting married or engaged...or just say...we can't wait for you two to get married or we are so ready for you guys to get married...but nobody ever mentions it to HIM...I don't know what to say most of the time because he and I never talk about it...it is odd...we talk about our relationship as if we will always be together...even discuss having children together and all of those things...but it's never, 'when we get married' or 'if we get married' or anything like that..I love him and he loves me and we get along great...I never mention marriage because I don't want him to feel pressured, but I do want that with him and would like to know that he feels the same, but saying 'oh, by the way, just curious...do you think you want to marry me one day?"...I just could not do that...suggestions? Thx!
2007-09-04 16:54:13 · 9 answers · asked by Stealth_1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One day I would just tell him how frustrated you are with your family and friends always on you about you two getting married, that the pressure just frustrates you and you wish they would leave you two to your own timing............then drop it!
See what his response is. There's no pressure. And don't expect an immediate response from him. He may take a little while to think about this then bring it up himself.
Good Luck
2007-09-04 17:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!! After having dated for so long without prior mention, such a conversation can go in only one of two ways. First possibility, he knows you've been waiting to ask so he plays it off and begins to feel pressured even if you never bring it up again. Little by little it gnaws at him for the next three-four weeks until it finally rips him and your relationship apart.
Second possibility, the mere mention of marriage shocks him as it legitamately never crossed his mind. Suddenly, your relationship takes an unexpected turn. This turn could be good, but more often than not it is bad. Every conversation, thought, even greeting has new meaning. Sometimes this will open new doors and things will turn out amazing! My experience has shown that this more often than not does not happen though.
My guess: If he has yet to mention it after a year and a half, there is probably a reason. Unfortunately, having waited this long you have kind of painted yourself into a corner. If you bring it up, you are really taking a chance that could ruin things quickly. From my point of view: You basically have two choices, move on or wait it out. Bringing it up will likely make things end badly.
2007-09-05 00:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by gillis101481 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that marriage is almost a bad word now-a-days. Since a lot of people rush into marriage too soon, and get divorced, it makes some single people think that marriage can actually hurt the relationship.
If everything is going good in your relationship, then just let it go at its own pace. Theres no time limit on when you have to get married. It sounds like when you're family and friends ask about it, it makes you feel uncomfortable and makes you feel pressured to get married. Just let them know that everythings great and you guys are just going at your own pace.
I'm in a friend's wedding coming up soon and him and his fiance actually went 9 years together before finally getting married now. Their relationship couldn't be better and they know for a fact that they can deal with each other's bad parts and that they're in love with each other's good parts. 9 years is a little extreme, but it just shows that you don't have to get married just because you think thats what you're supposed to do after a year or 2.
2007-09-05 00:03:38 · answer #3 · answered by JohnB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should mention it to him if you intend on getting married to him. If marriage is one of your desires then why not? If he's going to be your future husband then you should be able to talk to him about whats on your mind. Next time you talk about kids or something of the sort tell him that you would like to be married before having kids or that you'd like to be married to the person that you choose to spend the rest of your life with. I'm sure it's not that huge of a deal to him. If you don't want him to feel pressured than don't say it persistantly, say it a few times then give him some space. Don't worry; it'll work out.
2007-09-05 00:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A year and a half is plenty of time for your to initiate this conversation. Just mention it matter of factly. Tell him that you are planning on getting married and you believe that he is the one, and you want to make sure that he is on the same page. After he says what he has to say, take it in stride. You both need to make sure that what you want is the same.
2007-09-05 00:02:28 · answer #5 · answered by skydivemommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could casually tell him that his family is always bringing up the question and ask him if they've ever mentioned it to him. See what type of response he has and it'll probably open up a whole new discussion about if/when he actually wants to do it.
2007-09-05 00:11:10 · answer #6 · answered by mitchell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you can always say something like " do you picture us married and forming a family"...well it worked for me when i asked my bf (now fiance)...a couple of days later he gave me my ring and asked me to marry him...when i asked him what had taken him so long (we been together 2 years) he said that he didn't know how i felt about that whole situation...but when i asked him that he was sure i would say yes.....so maybe you should try it...it could work for you....good luck...hoped i helped ;p
2007-09-05 00:05:08 · answer #7 · answered by boricua1231 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't talk to him about your feelings after a year and a half, why are you with him?
2007-09-05 00:00:17 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dont rush it. its cool how theres some else with stealth in their name
2007-09-04 23:59:03 · answer #9 · answered by czstealth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋