She lived a sheltered life, no girlfriends, JW religion, strict parents, left home at 17 cuz she met someone "online" who happened to live in the same town, first bf, known each other for 2 months, and "He" is very smothering, has to know her every move, she can't go anywhere, he's suspicious of everything. I think she's way off target about getting married! But she see's it all as LOVE! And I (the Aunt) know the whole thing is doomed, foolish and don't want her to do it...but shes treating it like planning a birthday party, and not thinking about reality. And now her Mom (my sister) informs me she can't "host" the bridal shower, because she has a "class", and wants me to do it. I think thats horrible!, and it just tells me she's not taking it too seriously either. Bottom line...I don't want to be a part any of it...what can I say to my neice, her Mom, etc, so I don't look like the big bad creep?
2007-09-04 16:52:27 · 6 answers · asked by Peaceful 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well... the have only know each other 2 months and now they are planning on getting married? He is unemployed and wants to marry her and stay with her parents?
It sounds like a severe lack of common sense going on!
First thing her parents should insist on is him being established with his own place and a real job, instead of the other way around. They will probably find it really difficult to pry him out of there once he is ensconced.
Did anyone bother to get his social security or drivers' license number and do a BACKGROUND CHECK on this scumbag? I'm serious! Get one or both of those ID numbers and talk to the police and get them to look it up in the law enforcement databases! She may have a serial murderer there and never know it!
You need to tell all this to your sister. Then you need to be "out of town" that weekend... husband's relative died or something like that.
2007-09-04 17:10:34 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your niece aside,and offer her something better... offer her a place to live, FREEDOM, offer her all the things that she can aquire in life without marriage until she has experienced all the things in life that is good and then get married to the one that she needs too. Give her something else to look forward to, give her something else to be excited about.. all it takes, like my own aunt did, is offering something better, giving it tome straight, and I loved her more and trusted her more than anyone or anything,and she saved me from a life that could have been nothing but a life full of pain! Put your foot down just as mine did and take charge!
2007-09-04 17:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is reassure her, let her know you are there for her no matter what. Teens respond better when they think you support them. Meanwhile still try to convince her to take it slow. Remind her over and over again true love will last and there is no need to jump into marraige with someone she's just met. I would also speak to the young man's family and see where they stand and see if you agree.
2007-09-04 17:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by musicstandmag 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't going to change the girls mind so either support her decision or just gracefully decline the invitation to host the shower. It's her mother's and the bridesmaids responsibility not yours.
2007-09-04 17:03:39 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know you do not support the marriage and do not attend ANY of the celebrations that have to do with it. That should get your message across loud and clear.
Good luck!
2007-09-04 16:59:06 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just tell them
i dont want to support you.
that's it.
18 yrs old? no money? no job?
your sister needs to think about it right?
you dont need to worry about 'big bd creep'. they are totally wrong.
2007-09-04 17:11:20 · answer #6 · answered by askawow 47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋