Is it really worth it saving your virginity as a woman after 37 years of age?

Question

Please name the disadvantages or serious problems a virgin encounters. And if she doesn't find the special someone was that virginity wasted? (Asked in Relg. forum because she is Catholic.)

Please don't comment if you are in your 20s or beginning 30s because you have to walk the shoes of a virgin in her later years.....

Answer 1

Okay, I am old. I more than meet your age requirements, lol.

Morality is never wasted. But at some point, I do think one needs to ask, "Why am I saving this?"

If your reasons are still moral and religious, then fine. Everyone can respect that.

However . . . .
I have personally met some age 35-and-over virgins. And for the majority of them, what started as abstinence for moral and religious reasons . . . well, it has become an avoidance of normal human interaction and relationships. And to me, that is sad. At some point, one has to take a chance on a relationship. And yes, one can risk one's heart and be hurt. But that hurt is part of growth and a natural part of life.

And living life alone is not always fun, as some of those over age 35 virgins have discovered. Don't you want a relationship? Don't you want children and family? IF you do, then at some point you have to take a chance on a special someone.

Since you are over 35, you know to take precautions. You know to see your doctor, discuss birth control options, and protect yourself from STD's.

Now, I am not saying jump into bed with everyone you meet. That is not necessary. But maybe it is time to be more open to the idea of a new relationship in your life?

Answer 2

I really don't understand what you mean by the disadvantages or serious problems a virgin encounters? No matter what their age is this is a very personal decision and wether it is based on a personal or religious decison one should realize that virginity is something special and not something that you can "get back" one you give it away. Now if you are not a virgin that does not make you any less of a person however like I said initially your question is quite strange in the sense that you make it sound like being a virgin can cause someone irriversable harm. I would say that maybe not staying a virgin if anything could do that. Now maybe not at this particular age but at a younger age because of the repercussions one could have emotionally and physically. Spritially is a whole different matter. If this woman is deciding to be a virgin at the age of 37 that is her choice and I can see no serious harm or disadvantages except for the fact of maybe being sexually inexperienced. But I would venture to believe that if she finds the right person that person would be more that willing to learn with her. I would say her religion plays a part in her decision but she still has to make the ultimate choice because we all still have free will.

Answer 3

My short answer to your question is "I don't know" - I don't know if it's really worth it to save your virginity.

Disadvantages of a virgin encounter: (1) she may be extremely nervous, which could make the other party more nervous too; (2) she can have unrealistic expectations about her first time, so she may be in for a bigger let down; (3) she will be extremely disappointed, if not mad, if things are rushed... after all she's waited this long.

(to be fair, I'm including the advantages even though you didn't ask for it)

Advantages of a virgin encounter: (1) she has no one else to compare sex to, so you're the best she's had; (2) she's clean!; (3) she's probably really into you if she's waited 37 years and only allowed you in, etc.

If she hasn't found that special someone that she's willing to go the distance with, then having sex just to have sex doesn't seem worth it to me and it does seem as if her virginity-loss was wasted. If it's not that special someone, then there will be no real desire; there will be no real connection; there will be no real fond memories even if it's uncomfortable; there will be no spiritual bonding. If these things are important to her, then she should wait for the one person who she can experience it with.

Answer 4

I am in my mid 20's but I have a subjective viewpoint.

If you are saving yourself for marriage and were brougt up on this moral and want to keep saving yourself for the one you marry there is nothing wrong with that. Losing your virginity can be a very beautiful thing and should be, no matter what age you are. The fact that you've waited this long means that you have followed what has been taught and shouldn't be ashamed of this at all. You just haven't found your prince charming yet, but don't give up hope, my aunt wasn't married until she was forty-five and adopted children since her biological clock was running out of time.

On the other hand though losing your virginity is a beautiful thing, sex is very over-rated. It is pleasurable when you are with someone you love, but losing your virginity isn't as big of a deal as say getting your license and becoming an adult and getting your freedom and a successful career etc. etc. It is not the end of the world if you never have sex, cause if you've never had it you don't know what your missing, and having no sex in my opinion is better than having meaningless sex. If you have meaningless sex than you feel dirty afterwards. I had a one night stand once with a really good friend of mine that I didn't see in a romantic way and it ruined my friendship. The sex was completely meaningless because we didn't love eachother the way two people who are engaging in sex should. So no I don't think that your virginity is wasted if you don't get married.

Basically what all this boils down to is follow your heart. If you love someone and feel like having sex with them, you will not be damned if you do have sex, and you won't be damned if you wait til marriage. It is your choice whether you want to wait for the I do's or not. Just do what's best for you and realize that you aren't missing out on anything if you don't love someone enough to relish in such activities.

Answer 5

I really shouldn't comment cos I'm not walking in the shoes of a virgin, and haven't done so for a long time!

But...I'll comment anyway!

I have a great respect for people who save themselves for the sacrement of marriage. I do think though, that you should consider the very real possibility that the right partner, should he be found, could very well not be a virgin himself. If this were the case, would you feel disappointed or would you be ok with it? Remember that he is Mr. Right in all other respects.

If virginity is very important to you in your prospective partner, then I would suggest you hang on to yours until you find the right person. But if you feel that a guy is ticking all the right boxes, except for the vrginity one, and you would still go ahead and marry him anyway, then I wouldn't worry too much about keeping your virginity for marriage.

Of course it is a very personal decision to you, and I would advise that even if you decide not to keep your virginity until your wedding, be very careful when giving it away. That is a gift you can only give once!

Answer 6

No it's not. I think that you should have thought about this issue when you were in your 30s. I saved my virginity like you did, but most guys turned me down as a result and when I reached 35, I began to consider if it was worth it. Then I realized that it's ok to have sex before marriage as long as because to me it's not a sin, because does it really make a difference? If you continue to be a virgin, it'll be very hard for you to have children at such a late age.

If you don't find that special someone, your virginity is not wasted because at least you enjoyed it and gained some experience from it. Sure everyone says that you should save up your virginity until marriage, but when people get older it's harder for them to date.

After finally having sex, I was like "Wow all those years! I'm glad that I finally lost it"

Answer 7

Definitely yes. You should. Even if you don't find that right someone you are waiting all along. It isn't a matter of religious dogma or what. But I think it is a matter of principle that women should keep their virginity intact no matter what. Some guys out there are only after lust and sex. Some are also after casual intimacies and some are only trying to have a taste of what it feels like to devirginize someone.

Today, the media and many people have glorified losing virginity. Remember American Pie, Superbad, and all those teen movies? What do they evangelize then? Having sex is normal and just part of growing up. No, that is not that easy.
As if to them, you lose it and so what? No, it isn't like that. In fact the matter here is that saving your dignity and your reputation. Protect it at all cost.

Answer 8

There are several practical reasons for abstinence;
Aside from the fact that the first time is always the best, there is also the threat of STDs which are and have become a part and parcel of our sexual experience. These STDs bring with them a whole cornucopia of disease related issues many of which don't begin to catch up until later in life
The only logical way to avoid giving the person you love a souvenir of a past conquest is abstinence as your 37 year old friend has wisely chosen

Answer 9

serious problems a virgin encounters? cobwebs? haha,

i am kidding. virginity is a choice, not a waste or a shame or a joke, it is a personal choice. no more no less,

however, some virginal ones wait so long to lose it that it becomes an icon to them, but, sad to say, in this day and age, kinda a non issue to anyone else. no one out there is holding a gold chalice to worship someones virginity. in other words, i think i am safely saying, no one really cares.

Answer 10

Why are you a virgin? saving yourself for your husband? I'd thing after 37 yrs of waiting you might as well give up and enjoy life and sex. And yes the virginity is being wasted. life is short go get l@id. If your asking this question then you've obviously got doubts on waiting longer.