Dysfunctional family?

Question

Hello, I'm in my teens. I was raised in a very disfunctional family. I always feel alone, very lonely, as if I was on my own...when infact I have a family, a family who does'nt care(at least that is the way I feel.) My role in the family is the scapegoat or sometimes I use humor to bail out on my feelings. I loose my temper and sometimes make holes in the wall. I try very hard to read and practice bible principles but my family is not on the same page...it's as if they have given up on family values. What can I do for comfort?

Answer 1

I wonder if we all think we came from dysfunctional families? It seems so.

You might look at "What I learned from the Movies". There was one starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee. She wanted to get her husband to change bad habits. Her mother gave her a book. "How to Train Your Dog" and it worked!

The secret was not the husband changed. It was the wife's reactions to his behavior. If she wanted something good to happen, she must show him positive reenforcement. Make something good happen to him as reward for right behavior. She changed.

Ours is the only behavior we can correct. Others will notice our change and decide on their own to adjust their behavior. That was the Bible's advice to those Christians married to an unbeliever. By maintaining your true faith, they see you are not the ogre in the corner, but someone walking by true faith and begin to imitate you.

Answer 2

I understand where you are coming from I do the same thing. My bedroom doors are destroyed because of me hitting them. I also use humor to cover emotions. I always thought i was the scapegoat for my family so I created an imaginary person under the house and blame everything on him.There is a song called glycerin by the band bush and the lyrics say I'm never alone I'm alone all the time. that is how i usually feel. dysfunctional family we should compare notes to see which family is worse. It will get better, just make sure you don't date a cousin or anything like that or else things will really get crazy;.

Answer 3

First of all stop being the scape goat. You use your humor to cover your anger and that's not healthy either.
So regarding the above you need to get it out verbally not physically. Someone mentioned talking to your school counslor and I agree.
I am the 5th of 6 kids and there seemed like by the time it came around for me for school clothes, love, talking to me whatever, my mom was empty handed. She must have been exhausted from my older sibblings.
I was so lonely growing up, I pretty much kept to myself and stayed out of trouble.

You sound like you know right from wrong and that is a wonderful thing about you.
Being in a positive enviroment would be more healthy for you, so try and talk to your parents also.
If they can't talk to you at the time you approach them, ask them to please set aside 30 minutes or whatever but whenever there will be no interruptions.
Tell them you are sad and feel lonely, you want things to be different and can everyone try and work together on this?

If it works or not, at least you are showing your maturity to try and make things right.
Your family are not mind readers, so sometimes you just have to come out and say what's on your mind and you can even do that in a nice way.
You are not alone, although I know you feel that, I'm sure my words mean little compared to how you feel. But that's what we're talking about it isn't it?? How "you" feel?
So talk to whomever will listen, get your thoughts down on paper, stay calm when you talk, if they don't take you serious, shame on them, at least you will always be able to hold your head higher than them and there will be a day when you will graduate and be able to move out.
Are you working? If not, and you are of age, I would start considering baby sitting and start making some money. I did that and had almost $1,000.00 saved up in the 70's (true story) so, when it came time for me to leave, I had my own money to get started.
Good luck, I always accept emails.

Answer 4

Unfortunately there is not much we can do to control the behavior of others'. What you can do is confide in your close friends and go to them for love, comfort and support. Maybe when you get older you can have a different relationship with your family but I wouldn't expect them to have any sort of epiphany any time soon. I know what it's like to feel isolated from your own family and some of the damage has never been repaired.

Answer 5

I also grew up in a very dysfunctional family(and am still dealing with them to this day) what I do to cope with it is to focus on myself-or recently started helping others by answering questions on here. When I feel lonely and like I have no one to turn to it keeps me going by at least thinking I am helping someone else. Sometimes I don't hear from my sisters or mother for months until they call me when they need something. So I totally understand how hard it can be-especially when your are going through rough times yourself and cant even turn to family. So I guess what I am getting at, like I said; try to just focus on yourself. You cant change them no matter what you do, but you can help yourself to at least try to have a great life. Good lick and keep your head up no matter how heavy it gets.

Answer 6

Every one on earth is disfunctional in some way. I think most teenagers feel as if no one understands or cares. Maybe you should talk to your school counselor or someone you trust at church. Your friends are probably having the same feelings that you are, you are not alone. Grownups were once teenagers who sometimes like to pretend that they don't remember what it was like, but they do.

Answer 7

something could make a dysfunctional kinfolk. It relatively relies upon on the individuals. specifically circumstances that is divorce or dying. different situations that is drug/alcohol dependancy. it may desire to be abuse, undesirable parenting, strained relationships with distinctive contributors, out of hand toddlers or ailment. something could make a kinfolk dysfunctional in spite of the fact that it relatively relies upon on the households ability to deal with a definite difficulty. Like one kinfolk can get through a divorce with out problems and yet another kinfolk would be shattered. there is by no capacity a acceptable kinfolk so i do no longer think of you are able to placed your finger on one particular component that makes each and every kinfolk dysfunctional.

Answer 8

Just hang around your friends. We all have dysfunctional families. I felt the same way when I was your age, it's alright. Just find what makes you happy and go with it

Answer 9

Pray. When all else fail you, God won't. Trust that he has a good plan for you even though you're not in a good situation right now, he'll always love you and be watching you. Pray for him to hep you with his faults, your insecurities, and to forgive your sins. he will- that I can promise you!

Answer 10

MY OH MY, THE OLD FAMILY VALUES CARD.

remember that when you are punching more holes in the walls. looks as though you have some part in this dysfunctional family.

right??????