Do you think men and women should share the duties, or do you think it should be left up to the woman?
If the woman is WILLING to take control of the day...do you think she has the right to have veto power of all decisions??
Isn't it "the brides" day...?
2007-09-04 16:01:40 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Your about to get married, and you will need to learn to compromise. I told my fiance that if I asked for his opinion, I want to hear 1 of 3 answers: 1. What are the options?, 2. It's up to you, or 3. I would really like . . . I absolutely did not want to hear, "I don't know." That isn't helpful!
Now if he is absolutely against something, or wants something else, then tell me- It's our wedding! If it's something I really wanted, then we need to talk about it. If I'm indifferent to it, then I will take what he would like. It's nice to be able to say you both had the wedding of your dreams!
2007-09-04 17:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by kimandryan2008 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most guys would be just as happy with a minister, witness and the two of you without all the hoopla. It's generally the ladies that want the story book wedding, and the best way she can have the wedding she wants is to plan it herself. I'm a guy myself and my wife and I married 47 years ago. She set the whole thing up and I went along with it. That's generally how it happens. If you are planning yours, do something different. I've attended way too many weddings that were all cookie cutter events. They all looked the same. Bride in white gown with train and veil. Bridesmaids with matching gowns. Groom and his entourage in tuxedos, flowers, the wedding march, etc. All just the same. Then I've attended some weddings that were different, fun, beautiful. The wedding party was in blue jeans and western wear, married on the banks of a creek. Another was dressed casual but held atop a hill overlooking Sedona Arizona. Yet another was in a back lawn with a pitch-in dinner first then at the given time everyone moved to seats, out came the wedding party and the wedding took place - all retired to the patio for the cake cutting ceremony and resumed the conversations afterward - no long waits in a church for the wedding to start.
2007-09-04 16:15:27 · answer #2 · answered by Dick F 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's the bride's AND the groom's day.
A friend of mine just got married a couple months ago (the groom) and he couldn't invite my boyfriend and I to the reception because the bride had taken over everything and used up the majority of seats for her friends and family.
He wasn't a very happy groom when he had to break the news to us.
If the groom honestly doesn't care, then obviously the responsibility to plan the wedding falls on the bride, but he should always be consulted. Bug him now so he doesn't get pissed later on and complain after the wedding.
2007-09-04 16:17:57 · answer #3 · answered by Meg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's the couple's day, not just the bride's. I think that both should have a say, and each should get their own way about somethings, give way gracefully to the other about others, and find compromises about still others.
A successful marriage is an exercise in compromise. A good wedding is one, too.
Pick your battles, consider his opinions and needs, be thoughtful of your families and guests.
No, it's not 'the bride's day' but the day a new family is formed. Everyone in it is important.
2007-09-04 17:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by gileswench 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Both the bride and the groom need to be included in the planing. It's not a question of the bride being willing to take control of the day but the groom being willing to relinquish all say to her. It not the brides day at all, it's the couples day equally. If the bride is that selfish the groom should reconsider. Bridezilla coming through...
2007-09-04 16:15:17 · answer #5 · answered by az 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, it sure isn't the 'bride's day' - hope there's a man you are getting married to. Usually the couple cooperates and plans the wedding together. However, most men aren't into selecting the flowers or choosing the colours of the bridesmaids' dresses....
2007-09-05 02:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the bride's AND groom's day. I think brides need to tread this tightrope carefully as well. I think she should ask her groom for help and his input into HIS day as well...but she should also realize that many guys have zero interest in planning a wedding. They want to know where to be, when to be there, what they should be wearing, and what they'll be eating.
Also, if the bride and groom are paying for this all on their own, then they have complete control over all decision making...HOWEVER, if they are receiving significant money from either set of parents, their wishes need to be taken into account as well.
2007-09-04 16:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I haven't been married before but my past experience in weddings tell me that men usually don't care about the weddings, they just want to get it over with asap and get on with the "honeymoon". If you want to include the future hubby then put him in charge grooms cake or have him help his parents with the rehearsal dinner. Though when it comes time for my own wedding I just want to go to a place where they do everything for you (for example the Texas Renaissance Festival takes care of everything except for invitations, costume, and boarding) or a place in Paris TX. that also does everything from the rehearsal dinner to the clean up after the wedding (minus costuming of course) and this place lets you choose invitations, wedding cake design, flower arrangements, etc. but they do all the labor. If you have the money I'd say go that direction that way you don't have the headache of trying to do everything yourself or splitting up the responsibilities. Both of the above mentioned places cost around $6,000 depending on how extravagant you want it, so I am sure you could find a place similar in your area for fairly cheap (that is assuming you are a having a modern wedding that usually costs between 10-20k if not more. If you have the money then splurge on this option, if not then go on and put the groom on duties that aren't that important but makes him feel involved.
2007-09-04 16:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by flutterby_cowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's the couples day. Not just the bride. I believe the bride and groom have an equal say. But most grooms couldn't care less (like mine). However before I make any decision or purchase I run it by him first.
2007-09-04 16:09:02 · answer #9 · answered by Cindy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A wise bride ignores suggestions that "this is YOUR day and you should have everything YOUR way." Rather, she does her best to honor the wishes of both sets of parents and bring about agreement between disagreeing parties. Like with any group effort, there is usually a coordinator or leader, but the wise leader doesn't start playing "little Hitler" and ordering others to bow to her whims. Your job is to facilitate consensus, not to enforce your own preferences.
2007-09-05 01:59:55 · answer #10 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋